Is ‘Rational Thought’ our Saviour? or ‘The Suppressor of Reality?’ ;)

This question came to me late one night, when I had a massive episode of ‘Mrs Moody Pants’….I remembered a piece of advice I was given, by a wise wise friend, to help me balance my thoughts and wibbly perception with my actual reality. (Meaning, I needed to write a list of ACTUAL un-arguable ‘things’ that I have in my life, the simple obvious things, nothing too deep). Whilst also taking into consideration, how my ‘ridigalious’ emotional boingings easily lead me into ‘FALSE’ feelings of everything from hope to despair. The feelings are the problem, as most of the time, the only thing that has changed is THEEEE mood. Now; us emotional peeps need to be balanced by the rational peeps, and vice versa….me and ‘Vine’ would be fooooooooooked if we weren’t A) Best mates and B) Living at the very ends of the rational/irrational spectrum 🙂 So; after a good hours sulking and pig headedly trying to convince myself he was talking shite, I open mindedly decided to try his idea anyway, whilst still secretly thinking ‘Robot Vine’ is talking BILGE.. and going all ‘science boy’ on me again!
Now; you will all know, when you have the royal ‘UMP’, rustling up the positive is no easy task, especially when coupled with the severity of my particular Mrs Moody Pants Head. It wasn’t easy, me and my blank pad sat together for some time. And then, really slowly, I started to write a list of the simple things in my life – like how much I love my flat, then I counted how many cool neighbours I had and how well I know and like many of them.
Just from these 2 ignored/forgotten/taken for granted entries, I realised with stubborn, joyful, abject horror, I was wrong (damn it ;)). But my ‘wrong-ness’ was peppered with a half-smile….
Advice can literally turn us upside down and inside out, if we are open-minded enough to try something we feel is a waste of time. Next on the list came – having the best mother in the world, and before I knew it, I had a giant list of happy squit. Two whole pages, and I was on a roll like an amphetamine mofo;
I’d opened the happy gate mid self-pity…
I then hired ‘Vine’ as my new life coach, and begged him for forgiveness for writing his idea off as Shite 😉
The end of the story goes something like this, I read my list in detail, I thought about every entry until I could taste the real life feeling each thing gave me, and then I stored it. On paper, in microsoft word, in tut brain and on a memory stick.
AND THEN… I figured out the final vital factor for success – REMEMBER just ONE fact….I was/am HAPPY with my lot in life (and I had confirmed proof in black and white just in case)… The list became irrelevant, and its detail dangerous for the next time perception came home. No more thinking was/is needed…Past thinking ‘I’m Happy FULL STOP’. It was a truly cathartic moment, I may have FELT shite, but I couldn’t argue with my list, it was long, rational and true 🙂
This moment changed me forever….I will not go back, just speaking those two words is enough to snap me out of morose town.
Nowadays when I am ‘Mrs Moody Pants’, instead of assigning it to emotion, or situation; or seeking whats wrong, I simply remember I’m not only happy but I am actually lucky and blessed… and just a moody and insane wench sometimes 🙂
This was a year ago and I have re-wired my brain totally! My enemy ‘the rational’, turned out to be my saviour, and I learnt it’s not a suppressor of reality either, it clarified and reshaped my entire perception of my world, to know at least one ‘actual’ ‘tangible reality does exist. Before this night, I never believed in reality full stop….only perception
Dear Vine and Dear Rational Thought – Thank-you for freeing another chunk of my twisty ass 🙂

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