‘Lack of Clarity’ feeds the ‘Unsurety’…’Knowingly Deluded’? Oxymoron or Insightful Lunacy!?:(

Eyes of the Insane

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It begins

10 people were 1 person

Then 60 people in one night were 1 person

Then 70 people were possibly 2 people

Then there were numbers, so many numbers from the universe

Then there were patterns

Then there were 10,000 documents coming IN! C/Users…what users?

Then there were messages in the messages

Then there were fonts….cases….upper….lower….patterns….meanings….personal….hacked mind or router????

Then no-one but me could see the 1 person, or the 2, but they weren’t here when it happened! People are clever, they hide stuff

And then the evidence disappeared…Microsoft said Tracy was dealing with it, I saw it I SAW IT! Where is the error report? Then the secret mission after 5 years of pondering at 11.11 on the 2010101010101010100001111’s

But where has the email gone?

Then the eviction from London at 5am! The mission was my clarity, I needed it!!!! But I never made it there!

Then the points…..where are the points? I need them..I don’t want them but they have to arrive soon!

That speck in the bathroom light is a…

New speakers…ALMAZ ALMAZ ALMAZ ALMAZ…neighbours, naughty letters! It’s never loud enough for 7..NEVER! I can’t stop pressing replay. Is 7 now living in 1 and 2?

The rocking and bobbing and dancing and singing and bouncing is FUN 🙂 The constant laughter is fun!

‘It gets worse, untreated dear lady, take them’

When?? When insight of delirium and detachment finally leaves completely?? Or before insight leaves; we’ll take your soul instead..

But the naughty gets naughtier, back to being 5, 15, 23, 27, not the well behaved, vacant zombie of 30 or 31

Risky behaviour is just that, it makes BIG messes in life, periodic HUGE messes…

Where’s the sense gone? The clarity? But more pressing, how much more might go and what might the dopamine, and the serotonin, and the gaba create next?

The words form in my brain, I release them from my mouth, they land in your lap, and again i’m shouting, again, the words you utter back, re confirms the message has indeed morphed into something utterly different from what I believe I released.

It’s just speech! Why don’t I hear i’m shouting??

When the words of the dictionary fail, I can’t help but ponder on where and when I became unable to communicate, when I can hear the RIGHT SAME words still ringing! What are you hearing? What am I hearing back? I don’t know.

I just need to know WHEN…. but this is the thing, I don’t AND they don’t! New turf! Scary turf! Turf without an end point in sight

If only I knew the duration and the extent WE may reach, then I might have the wisdom to choose

Continue and hope I don’t bomb the guts out of my good list, via wibbly ‘realities’, busted faculties, and continous naughty seeking…

Or lose my soul, my insides, my memories, but behave…with your western poison…

Which reality is worse? I don’t know…It depends on the development of the one or two I may or may not be in.

I can but WATCH this space, but I fear my eyes may not be seeing what I’m meant to be watching!

I’m looking at me from the left, I would like to get in the middle for a viewing!

I’m more than a little scared.

I’m right.

I know I am. I am. I have to be!

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