How How How do ‘Born Liars’ Do it???

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Liar, Liar (song)

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‘THE TINY LIE TRAIN’

Me and my onion were having a game of ‘Rummy’a few weeks ago, and during this innocent game of cards, I learnt a few semi-disturbing things about myself ;/, via his ‘oh so observant eye’!

1. When I talk I apparently ‘boing around’ quite a lot, and this ‘boinging’ evidently extends to my hands

2. I talk a lot when I’m playing cards

3. My ever moving hands inadvertently flick the wrong side of my ‘cards’ outwards, for a 360 degree full room viewing, every 15 seconds or so!

So anyway, game 3 rolls around, and as far as I’m aware, all is well in the ‘card camp’, and as he placed a 3 of diamonds on the tray, he said…

‘You need that card don’t you’ (which of course I did, as had been proven to him, every 15 seconds)

And I simply replied

‘No’

This led to mass chuckles from his end and mass confusion from mine 😉

Then after he explained the above ‘Dawny facts’ to me, I chuckled too, whilst pondering for a while, over how I have managed to win soooo many games of Poker. And THEN he divulged the main and extra disturbing (for me) reason for his hysteria…

‘My Liar Face’ !

Yes, when enquiring exactly what it was about my face that gave it away…a flash of the eyes? A glance at the ground? A quick twitch of my lip?…NO…apparently I discovered I have a ‘whole new face’!

With this new news in mind, my life flashed before me and I cringed for a full 3 minutes!!! Every lie I have ever told whizzed through my consciousness.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always known I am a shite liar, so it is not something I indulge in unless I’ve exhausted all other options. I am indeed known for my sometimes stupid and brutal honesty. As a pooey liar, I am left with no other option than to tell the truth ;)…but I wondered about all the ‘pre thought out white lies’ I told in my youth. All of which I thought I’d executed so swimmingly…like the every weekend ‘tall tale’ of what film I was going to watch, when I was really off out clubbing! Did my Mum see my ‘whole new face’ every weekend too ;// !

‘MY GIANT LIE TRAIN’

OK so a few years ago I made a ‘foooook up’ of gargantuan extents. I did something sooooo stupid it beggars belief, I look back and wonder if I was indeed even there. The consequences of this colossal mistake, if proven without doubt, would have been life altering for me in too many ways. For the rest of my life! YES it was the most stoooooopid/ idiotic/ irresponsible/ insane/ impulsive/ mahoosively DUMB thing I have done as yet. So I knew I had to lie!!! It was lie or die if you get me…

The next 3 days where the worst of my life, I had to lie my ass off all day…On the spot with a ‘whole new face’…‘a squirrel did it’…stylee lies. Yes…ALL the live long day!

And just when I thought the hell was over, I realised it had just begun, cos evidently when you tell 40 lies over 3 days, you have to tell 6790 lies over the next 3 weeks/months/years to justify/keep up with the original 40! Every damn conversation I had for WEEKS on end, begun with me either lying AGAIN, crying AGAIN or chanting ‘Swear you won’t tell anyone, who do you know?, who do they know?, have you already told anyone??? (before I had even finished the story I was asking that last question ;)) In summary OH MY FOOOOKING LORD for that episode of my life!!! And still to this day I occasionally have to tell a fib, due to the 3 day set of lies …of 7 years ago!

I re-iterate…How do they (born liars) not literally melt down from the stress ??

I’m not talking about little white lies here, although there not exactly my forte either ;), but AGAIN…how in gods name do they do it ;). People who tell giant lies, as part of their everyday conversations, through choice! I have no insight into these minds but…

I have to admit, aside from the moral status of these little fibbers! I take my hat off to their levels of genius, memory and mostly, just their general composure!

And finally, and unpreviously mentioned…How How How do they do it people??? ;//!!

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About Littlebeut333

'Random Spillages from a Reportedly Strange mind’… Hello all :) I’m Dawny, the littlest of the Beuts..and my brain spillage content varies from the profoundly philosophical, to utter bilge ://…Life is my inspiration. I write about friends, love, the soul, society, shrinks, people, labels, home, mothers, perfect moments, dirty politicians, music, pain, beauty, women, religion, god, mental health, the demise of humanity!!! etc…hence the ‘random’. All spilled through the eye of my ‘ever musing, slightly philosophical mind’. Although I write mostly for enjoyment, and to empty my oh so busy head; sharing my snippets appeals to me, and I also love reading the thought trails of others. I would be most chuffed if anyone comes across my page and has a browse (and if you do, thanks in advance). I guess the biggest compliment would be if, for you, my rambles are either :- slightly different from the norm, enjoyable, amusing, unenjoyable, and/or thought/emotion provoking. Whatever them thoughts or emotions might be…The good, the bad, the ugly..and everything in between!! ;)… I accidently fell in love with writing a while ago, and from that time, my inspiration has come solely from lifes varied encounters, feelings, knowledge, memories and thoughts. Welcome to my archives, to some sections of my mind :0 Dawny

8 responses

  1. Oh Vine Vine Vine, you do make me chuckle luv, and i’m proper glad it amused you for the third (or 17th 😉 time! and I know you want my audio visual dawny ‘in action’, but you know me and being filmed ;/ (shakey shake shakes… not to mention the voice issues of a wee dictaphone lol! :). Thanks so much for your comments treasure, they always brighten my day! Mucho Love back to London, from us both 😉

  2. Well babe, having heard this from your lips at least twice, it was funny to read the blog version. I wish people could hear you tell your life stories, because as brilliant as your writing is, your facial expressions and funny voices would result in a mass number of people running to the toilet in an effort to stop from wetting themselves! I’m picturing your face when you told me the shock horror that was your lie face!! This is very much one of those posts you should record a video for!! Luvin ya both from London! Vine. xXx

  3. Hey Stacey! I’m so glad you enjoy my spillages!! Thank you muchly for your lovely comments on my writing. Lol that we are both shocking liars yet poker hustlers! 😉 I never used to think you could consider the feelings of others too much, but I think i’ve learnt that if you naturally consider others alot, you can sometimes forget your own totally. I did that for years, but now I try to find a balance. It’s an impossible game trying not to offend everyone ay! but I personally think that if you think about others, its a good kind trait to be held onto 😉 Thanks again Stacey…Dawny 🙂

  4. LOL! I do enjoy your spillage! I am with you don’t tell lies, not good at it. However I do play poker well. My want to be shrink friend says games are games and people have feelings and I am tooo concerned with others feelings. Is that possible?
    anyway, keep them coming you are a gifted writier.
    Stacey

  5. Hey Kristin, thanks muchly again for your feedback 🙂 you’re very kind and i’m glad you enjoy my random drivvle! 😉 Dawny… p.s your pics’ are beautiful, keep up the good work and Happy Sunday