Daily Archives: September 12, 2011

Oi Mind! You TWAT! What have you done to me?…signed, Your Heart!

Standard

Heart Valve surgery at the Clinical Center

Image by National Institutes of Health Library via Flickr

Dear Mind,

This is your heart here and this correspondance should be digested urgently and then acted upon immediately. You have stitched me right up!! Get a grip! What in gods name have you done? This pain we’re in, well forgive my bluntness but it is entirely your fault! You TWAT!. I repeat…WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?…Well MIND, I am putting my bloody foot down this time. I’m ordering you to have a word with your mouth, open it, and un-say the words. Do what needs to be done to re-attach me to my left valve. You replaced our original left valve with another one, I went through all that trauma that comes with re-adjusting to an alien body. I readjusted… and now you’ve cut me from the bloody source. I’m working overtime with no chance of a replacement lefty; and I’ve been in alot of pain lately as it is. My ability to regulate us is now seriously compromised. This is dangerous and WE are in agony you masochistic freak! Re boot re boot..over and ooooooooooooooot!

Dear Heart,

I have recieved your hostile little memo and to be honest, you’re very self absorbed. Read the rest of this entry