I don’t know what to call this…

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Masked.

Image by .Andi. via Flickr

A glass of repetition with some ice please,

A coolant for the burning in my chest,

How many different ways can I say the same thing,

I speak my words, I can’t fathom how you function,

I am sickened by your reactions,

Pained and broken by your words, but mostly, from exposure to your thoughts,

I see inside you when you speak at peak, and the truth has rocked my world,

 

All I asked was be there in the rough times,

You played it really well when they were bumpy but well peppered with divine,

Your soul is well intended but you are blind,

Now I see the you behind the mask.. A mask I knew existed some time ago,

I waited and prepared for the viewing but…

Seeing underneath was heart-stopping. The difference was that of two species and outside of comprehension; If it wasn’t for your physical presence I would never believe that it was you doing this to me, saying this to me, thinking that of me…

 

I understand the letters that make your pieces the way they are,

I look at you and see myself both now and then,

You hate yourself so deeply; yet you see no error in ways,

And no one can blame you for that due to context,

I screamed my final strength to offer options and in the process,

I found another view into your soul; the you who surpasses letters,

A piece of you I never thought could ever ever reside in such a person,

When I felt its weight and saw its size I was giddy with shock, I still can’t even believe any of it when my mind tortures me with the contradictions as events unfolded,

Such a capacity of self righteous preservation, pervades the bounds of a caring soul by even the loosest measures,

You cannot be that AND that, not without at least seeing the existence and extent of both within yourself,

 

After mountains upon mountains I finally collapsed,

Broken by life and the weight on my back,

So many times you left me on the floor, destroyed and punished for just loving you,

Whilst my face bore the scars of my broken insides,

I laid my soul bare and begged for your assurance and you left to nurse your ego’s woes instead,

Whilst I waged war for you and the world too, you were hating me for crumbs,

 

Whatever was and whatever intented, some things once seen, can never be forgotten,

Love is something each one owns,

But some of the purest loves are peppered with the deepest damage,

Choose people carefully would be the lesson here; wait til you understand the extent of levels of ‘self’ in the thinking of others

Essentially, we are all defined from that point

 

I’m letting you go because I know you can’t be,

The very thing that you most want to be,

I know you will never understand the justice of my decision and it kills me,

I never wanted to leave the love of my life, let alone leave without any mutual understanding of why it had to be this way,

But language is wasted on us now, and it’s just the saddest saddest story,

Being angry is so easy but the body just can’t sustain the effects of anger for too long,

So it leaves

And I am drowned again in grief

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About Littlebeut333

'Random Spillages from a Reportedly Strange mind’… Hello all :) I’m Dawny, the littlest of the Beuts..and my brain spillage content varies from the profoundly philosophical, to utter bilge ://…Life is my inspiration. I write about friends, love, the soul, society, shrinks, people, labels, home, mothers, perfect moments, dirty politicians, music, pain, beauty, women, religion, god, mental health, the demise of humanity!!! etc…hence the ‘random’. All spilled through the eye of my ‘ever musing, slightly philosophical mind’. Although I write mostly for enjoyment, and to empty my oh so busy head; sharing my snippets appeals to me, and I also love reading the thought trails of others. I would be most chuffed if anyone comes across my page and has a browse (and if you do, thanks in advance). I guess the biggest compliment would be if, for you, my rambles are either :- slightly different from the norm, enjoyable, amusing, unenjoyable, and/or thought/emotion provoking. Whatever them thoughts or emotions might be…The good, the bad, the ugly..and everything in between!! ;)… I accidently fell in love with writing a while ago, and from that time, my inspiration has come solely from lifes varied encounters, feelings, knowledge, memories and thoughts. Welcome to my archives, to some sections of my mind :0 Dawny

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