‘First Love to Last’…What becomes of the ‘Broken-Hearted’?

Love Love Love

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine...

What becomes of the broken-hearted?

So many people describe their 1st love as unique; millions stand by the idea that there is no love like it…nothing comes near to your 1st love right?

It took me years to get over my 1st love; so I get the roots of this thinking, I do.

But I don’t think it’s for the reasons we think…

Is it the love that’s unique?

Or just the experience?

When we have our heart broken for the very 1st time, it is NEW and immensely painful. And we just don’t know how to deal with it. We feel shock; immense grief; confusion; depression and helplessness. We are overwhelmed, empty, and without any skills from past experience to even compare it to. Many of us revert back to infantile ways, to cope with the pain, because we don’t know any other way…

Please take a meander with me, onto my friend who is a ‘Soldier’

When I think of him, serving on his 1st ever day; on his 1stever tour of duty; I can’t help but remember what happened to him

The Unknown Soldier (1985 film)

He had his heart broken too…

Can you imagine how he felt when he poked his head out of the tent; to find his best friend lying dead in front of him?

I can tell you, he also felt shock; immense grief; confusion; depression and helplessness? And yes, he too felt totally overwhelmed, empty and without any skills or past experience to even compare it to.

His training was the catalyst for his wholly adult re-action. My friend the soldier had already learnt to deal with war, but like the broken-hearted; there was still a period of time; when he was unable to move or act in a way that soothed him. He paused for seconds to deal with this horror; before moving forward. Seconds, not hours…maybe even minutes; but not weeks. Just because he had to and somehow, he knew how to…

But alas, there is no ‘Sgt Major of Love’; who comes to tell us what to do

We are at war, and we’re no more skilled than the civilians who flee the debris in a blind panic

But as life goes on and we have our heart trampled on over and over, somewhere inside we are building skills, just like my soldier on his 3rd of 4th exercise in the Moors; we start to become hardened to the pain and the panic. As gunshots to his protected chest become a strange kind of normality for him, the pain of a broken heart becomes an experience we have already overcome, just one of our many normal states.

We get better at it and we get faster at it

But does that mean we love less than the 1st time? I don’t think so. When I look at the people around me in relationships who are trying desperately to make it work, through the turmoil that is life; the love they have seems far deeper; compared to the lusty heady superficial, but very real memories, of my first love.

‘True Love’ is hard work; it takes a healthy dose of compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, understanding and patience, just to love someone else.

Do we really have these traits tied down; when we love for the very 1st time?

The old school broken hearts try far harder to keep the love alive; than the young and foolish, that close the door on love for reasons we might laugh at later, deeming them truly ridiculous.


What becomes of the broken-hearted…?

Their valves become clogged with memories of previous attacks

The interior hardens, and becomes a little lazy.

They become more difficult to travel around; it takes longer for blood to pass through, as we slow down any rushes; with our now wise, subconscious…

Then someone comes along and starts pushing new life through its veins

It skips a beat, fear through experience begins to pump adrenaline like billio. Desperately fighting off the invasion of another heart, another heart magnetically dragging itself towards its hub. It is tough; and it rejects and runs at quite an impressive rate…

Like our soldier.

Like our soldier…

It is traumatised and fed up; fed up of leaving the mind to its own devices; only to find itself back in the rear of the ambulance, re-arresting!

But love knows no bounds and it pushes on relentlessly

And in the end we cave to the power of it; and we let the magnet find its way into our life force

Into The Heart

And then, time again takes its toll and one day, we wake up and find that love has left, again!

By this time, we are of course soldiers too, so we bathe in the sadness for seconds at a time, instead of years. We climb out of the tent; we somehow step over our best friend who is lying dead before us; and we move on…

What becomes of the broken-hearted?

They become quick to heal, and slow to fall. But they continue to ignite and shine, just as brightly, from first love to last.

Cos no matter how ugly things get in the end. Love is beautiful and it is bright…

We get dark and we may get tough; but love is irritatingly shiny, and stronger than all the soldiers put together. It is (‘Thank Betty’) indestuctable; so no matter how many times you live and lose, you can never stop…


6 responses

  1. Pingback: An update on my post entitled ‘If your partner is ‘Crazy’, run for the hills’ « Random Spillages from a Reportedly Strange Mind

  2. Hey quantumpyhsica, thanks muchly, for commenting and for your sweet words. Your friends comment about it being similar to psychosis, is one I believe myself. Fooooking crazy, it does indeed drive us! If we didn’t have the healthy friends and family love, we’d all be well and truly screwed I do believe 😉 Oh and I love your new entry on hate/love. There should be a love button next to like button I think. Do you? 😉 Sometimes like just aint enough and a comment wont do either! Very deep too, oh and I tend to be deep as a river and shallow as a puddle simaltaneously! Happy Monday Chook, Dawny 😉

  3. like the bible says, love is kind love is patient and keeps no record of wrongs, a mothers love is enduring, it is never ending when you feel that love is running low there is always more to give, how i dont know but there will never be a drought on my love for my children,i am blessed in my life to be able to give and recieve so much love from family and friends, i thank god daily for this, we love in so many ways for so many different reasons, unfortunatly i am not as elequant as you, and therfore not able to express myself as well as i would like but you know me well and you know how much you all mean to me love always mum xxx

  4. like the bible says, love is kind, love is patient it keeps no record of wrongs,a mothers love is enduring, a mothers love is endless and when you feel you have no more to give, god gives you the strength to give more and more, there are so many ways to love and love is beautifull and i am thankfull every day that i have so much love in my life, both to give and recieve i love you more than words could ever express mum xxxx

  5. Very deep…
    Love is a bitch… Turns you on, mashes up your neurochemistry, leaves you all fucked up.
    According to a friend, being in love is chemically similar to being psychotic. Love drives us people crazy… xD
    But then… what you say is beautiful, and hopeful… Love it 😉