My love/hate relationship with all that is posh, takes another twisty turn
The score was 4 up for posh
1. For the very posh lady on ‘Masterchef’ who drooled out this corker; shortly after ingesting a piece of sea bass with something very odd piled on top of it
“What a saaaaad end, to a once noble, piece of fish”
2. For Maude, the even posher lady who works in Sainsbury’s over the road, who called through an SOS on her bouncer styleeee head-gear, to boldly utter this classic phrase
“Stephen, its Maude, there’s a crisis on juice” (It’s the accent)
3. My doctor is ‘landed-gentry styleee posh’; and when I visit him, it is always my aim to make him laugh; mainly because he is so posh, he actually does that upper class scoff thing…it’s his actual laugh ;)! Like instead of laughing they…well…sort of scoff, I don’t know how else to describe this joyous little cultural phenomena of the very wealthy. Also, I love that he doesn’t move his top lip. Further observation showed, neither does anyone else from the upper echelons of our strange little society…and
4. Cos I bloody love em’
BUT they have pissed me off now 😉
Because I went to the poshest doo I’ve ever been to, a few weeks ago. Ball gowns; in an amazing hotel, sporting toilets bigger than my flat. They plagued me with divine food and even scrummier alcohol…and now
-1. I am officially a ‘Champ Tramp’
I have just had my shopping delivered from Sainsbury’s and my plethora of red and white ‘basics’; are sat alongside 2 bottles of Henry Dumanois Champagne
Posh is pricey, and I am an English peasant ;)…When will the posh train ever stop people?! With its alluring carriages of temptations…?
Oh gosh! I nearly forgot, the score was actually 5 up; before the champagne addiction. 5th point went to…
There is a show on TV called ‘Made in Chelsea’ which is a ‘poshed up’ version of the most surreal TV program ever to savage my senses…’Made in Essex’. If you’re not familiar with it, I’d say…don’t go there! It is a mix of a documentary/acting monstrosity, whereby the cast pretend to act through some of their daily life! And don’t act through some other bits!
Anyway, my sister watches this Chelsea version and these people featured are ‘Queen Posh’. This chappy was having a visit from his friends who wandered into his palace, and mentioned that he might want to lock his front door; when he is upstairs in the 5th wing…
To which he replied, “Whaaat? Lock the doooor? But it’s ‘The Royal Borough’ darling”
It took me about 20 minutes to stop laughing at both Trissus’s rendition of him saying this; and the subsequent hilarrrrrious viewing.
Final note, I’ve cracked open my Champagne, and no lie, the cork has just de corked, directly underneath the right side of my jaw. Foooking ouch, so they’re getting another point deducted, for not correctly educating me on the strength of the bubbles in this posh shit.
I don’t have any wine glasses cos Mr Shamone and Mr Rurch (my pussycats) like to play ‘ball ‘with them, off of the draining board…
So I am sipping it, from a plastic scratched camping wine glass 😉
Final final note – Christ! my jaw is throbbing, I’ve got training tomorrow and I fear I may look like a bruised and abused woman when I arrive.
Posho’s (as I affectionately call you/them), I still love ya, cos you’re still 3 up!