Monthly Archives: March 2012

Short Number 15 – The Highs and Lows of Anxiety… and her buddy ‘Pam’

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Anxiety begins to brew, and sometimes it grows to the point where ‘Pam’ is required.

She does the job of Instilling the desired amount of ‘zombification’

But the next day, she gives you a big old ‘Pam-Over’

‘What goes down, must come down’

(43 words)

I offer you a journey to ‘Perfection on a Plate’…For mind, body and soul

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When Amy died, my other half at the time (who really couldn’t stand her, and thought she sounded like a screaming cat!!!), tried really hard to get on board with the Amy Love, in support of me (bless him). He was very sweet with stuff like that.

😦

(This post is a ‘mini novel’ by necessity; apologies for my long winded gene; but/plus, it’s all highly relevant content)

Anyhoo…

After days of footage, tears, ‘Dawny stories of Amy love’, footage, tears, shock, footage, footage, ‘Dawny stories, of a plethora of Amy moments’, that are stored in tut my soul. Footage, shock, tears

…footage, tears

(Oh and I narrated tooooo, through quite a lot of footage)

He made a profound statement of unbelievable ‘Amy wisdom’…This is how penetrating she was and is; even a complete ‘non fan’ couldn’t fail to see this in her.

In fact Me, Jools Holland and Jay, sat top, middle and bottom, on the fan scale (and yes, I soooo know that I love her more than Joolsy), yet we all were affected MOST by this clip out of THE LOT! Read the rest of this entry

Mentalist Awards and the Strange Questions they Raise! ;)

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THE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD

   FOR BEING MENTAL AND LOVING IT

I stole this award from the wonderful blog/blogger known as Dotty Headbanger (Thank-you Dotty Headbanger). Soooo, if you are gagging for an award to show off, please visit this ‘ere link and just nab it for yourself

http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/02/19/the-dotty-headbanger-award-for-being-mental-and-loving-it/

Tragic to self award? Quite possibly!

Do I care? I’m afraid not, I’d go as far as to say I’m brimming with Pride 😉

Anyway, if you award yourself you will need to answer the following questions

QUESTIONS TO ANSWER

1.  How many bricks do you own?

2.  How many Cumberland sausages can you fit in your mouth without chewing?

3.  What is your most inventive way of using biscuits (or cookies if you’re American)?

4.  If it was made compulsory to have a mental illness which one would you choose and why? (If you have a mental illness already you have to choose another).

My Answers Read the rest of this entry

It could be worse, you could be Littlebeut333! ;)

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I am a disgrace to the following :-

Will Power

Saving Money

Studying

Not Blogging

Visiting my Parents

Writing

Humour

Social Graces

AND

The gods of – Getting out of bed-us before noon-us, even with multiple alarm-ussssssss!

Soooooooo if you’re feeling poooey, after reading this you should feel marginally better about yourself!

Although you should know, I have great shoes…GREAT SHOES; and they are probably better than yours

Apart from that, I am back to being disgraceful – all over town, relish in my inadequacy people, and there is no need to thank me!

You Are Welcome 😉

Ladies and gentlemen… Psychosis has left the building (Hooray!)

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I caved, and swallowed the correct amount of western poison (and I avoided hospital admission for the physical side effects this time) Lucky meeee ;)… I forced kilos of food down my pipe, and I went to sleep like a good girl.

My mind is one happy mind today 🙂 because all this worked, and psychosis has finally buggered off for the foreseeable future.

I know I’ve been gibbering on about this for a while now, and if I’m boring you I apologise, but it helps me to release some of the madness inside. Plus; I feel that posting this stuff might help to shed some light on the awake and living nightmare, that some people are forced to go through.

I also I want to reinforce the fact that all paranoid schizophrenic’s ARE NOT serial killers. I would say it’s far more likely, that the majority of them are petrified, as they believe you are a serial killer

I can’t tell you what a relief it is, to have a semi normal brain back. In the throes of psychosis, every thought that passes through my mind is part of a wider conspiracy, every single one…even the ones that begin innocently, turn into something sooooooo dark; it’s really difficult to cope. Read the rest of this entry

I think I ‘might’ have a powerful enemy…Karma calling perhaps?

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I ‘think’… because I’m not sure of the details, or the motives, or my perception of certain happenings.

And then there’s my imagination to consider…It’s all a bit confusing, but bad things are (and have been) happening, that do not really have any other explanation.

So for now, I’m going with the idea that I am sure.

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling victimised over this vendetta.

UNTIL now, because I’ve realised that somewhere along the line (without intent), I must have pissed somebody off or hurt them so badly, they feel their vengeful actions are justified

They are slowly chalking up the scores I guess, I can only guess

So who gets to say which one of us is right, and which one is wrong?

Neither or us have kudos on what constitutes the right amount of justice for a crime, all we both have, are our own perception of events Read the rest of this entry

Word-Press! Perhaps a little orange notification would have been nice ;)

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I started blogging way back in the day (a year ago) and I read all the relevant pages when I was a ‘newbie’…about publishing posts, and pictures and categories and tagging etc.

Once upon a time, there was just ONE consequence to ‘tagging the living life’ out of your posts, NO CHANCE to get on tut ‘Freshly Pressed’…

Well; let’s be honest I’m never gonna be featured there with the tripe I produce. Soooo off I went, I made many categories that are necessary to organise the plethora of topics I write about, and these categories belonged to me and my page only (back in the day)

THEN, the other night, I happened to be browsing through some tags, looking for a suitable post to ignite my reader within… and I noticed that my highly important ‘Change the World’ post was missing from tut BLOGGUS-SPHERE!

WHAT????

Well, I tried copy and pasting and re-posting and again…NO-WHERE to be seen

So, I had a little wander round the support pages and it would seem at least HALF of my posts have never made it past my eyes, EVER! Read the rest of this entry

If we must carry an ID card, I say we also push for dating manuals! (Here Here)

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Let’s face it; privacy in all its forms is pretty much a thing of the past.

Were caught on camera 100’s of times a day (unless we live in rural Wales), whilst just bobbing about doing our daily’s.

The Big Boys and Girls know where we live, where we work, how much we have in our bank, what naughty things we’ve done etc. And last year the census reached a whole new level of poking – when they asked for a list of which citizens you had round your house, that Sunday!

Christ, every text we’ve ever sent is logged on some giant memory machine somewhere, ready and waiting to come back for us, when we need it least…

People are bugging their partners and hiding GPS trackers in their cars, to catch them cheating

All this is a bit poooooey really, BUT I think we could turn it to our advantage Read the rest of this entry

‘Changing the World’ (and it’s associated Malarkey)… is bloody hard work! ;)

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I tried to woo you with politics and failed miserably.

Are we ever going to stand up for the elderly? (They need your ‘left click’ ;))

Then I utilised my crappy sense of humour and this gave the post marginally better results, but they were still very poor, far less than I need to whoop Cammy Boy’s ass.

Then I tried to poke your emotional weak spots, by using your Grandparents against you (very low I know)!

Then I tried some good old fashioned begging

And then I resorted to plain old emotional blackmail – and held you all responsible for my sobbing soul

ALL that effort and I got about 10 citizens to join my ‘Save the Biddie’s’ club, (on all 3 posts ;/)…So I’m un-sticking the campaign post, cos its clearly not doing it’s job. And I’m gonna go back to the drawing board, on how to influence the masses 😉

Fear not Oldies, Dawny has not forgotten you, she will bring you back to full glory when plan H has been formulated

Dear Members of the World, you are hard work! 😉

An Apology (and an explanation for my ‘Ignorance of Late’)

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Mere days ago, I was naively celebrating freeeeeee software that limits the amount of time you can spend on certain sites…

And this led to Word-Press rations 😦

All was well (ish), until Vine attempted to alter the settings due to me pleading with him to give me a 2 hour slot, (as I’m sick of editing posts and adding pictures, at the speed of an amphetamine addict, before the page disappears!)

Shockingly 😉 The freeeeeee software has all gone ‘Pete Tong’! I can’t access any of word press, bar my own page, and some options on my dashboard

I can no longer check the read blogs page, I can’t browse topics, nor tags, and neither can I go to the stats page! CRUEL! Read the rest of this entry

Handbags and Kitchen Sinks – Anyone need an ashtray? ;)

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These are some of the items I have found in my handbag, whilst searching for my purse at multiple tills

An ashtray with 7 butts in it, miraculously, it stayed the right way up all the way from my home to the cafe, and the bags contents escaped a messy ‘ashing’

The digi-box remote

The MASSIVE silver TV remote

A thick winter knee length red sparkly sock

The cats box of treats – whiskas temptations chicken and cheese flavour

A food bag with ham in it!

My large bottle/tube of cocoa butter

These are the items that have been missing from my handbag whilst searching for my purse at multiple tills Read the rest of this entry

More Bilge on 3,33 and 333! (Lucky you ;))

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crap

Update…

In the 3rd week of the 3rd month of the year (and of the spangly 33rd year of my little life)… the number of hits to my page hit 5,333

The categories on my page, from my blogs birthday to its first birthday, stood at 30

But this year, the addition of Amy Winehouse, The Archives and Shorts = 33 categories in my 33rd year 🙂

My rent increased from £315 to £333 per month

On the 3rd of the 3rd I thought I had been stood up ;( (poooor Dawny) Read the rest of this entry

Where would we be without memories of our own ‘Special Biddies?’

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Nan

When me and my siblings were little; we had a ‘Nanny Green Door and a Nanny Black Door’ (This memory of how we categorised our two Nan’s, warms the cockles of my ‘eart).

Nanny Black door was my idol (minus her alcohol consumption levels).

She was a lush, and a really funny sweet one at that. She drank Holsten Pils lager ‘cos according to Nanny Black Door…“you can drink that if you’re a diabetic, ‘cos all the sugar’s already turned to alcohol” 😉

She was mostly tipsy when we visited, and she never recognised us when we knocked at her door! Which was always a bit odd, but also really funny to all 3 of us.

When we divulged our identity, she used to say the same thing every time, over her shoulder in Bob’s direction (Bob was her 387th ‘live in lover’ 😉 I joke…Bob was maybe my 7th step granddad type figure) … I was blessed in this area, with abundance 😉

Right after we said “Nan, It’s us, Leigh, Theresa and Dawn

She would say

“Ohhhhh Bob, ain’t they grown” and then she called us all Leigh for the remainder of the visit (crazy old coot)  ;0 Read the rest of this entry

My Cry for ze Elderly is staying ‘sticky’

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My new bilge will be coming up underneath the post

Are we ever going to stand up for the elderly? (They need your left click ;))

(because ONE little likey for ze oldies… does NOT pleaseeee the dawnies, or the biddies

Subliminal message – LOOK INTO MY EYES and COMMENT ON OR LIKE the post below 😉 Seriously, what harm can it do? Even if you hate it? Pleeeeeeease peeps, and don’t forget to hop on down the page for new articles of bilge and profound wisdom.

 

(OK you beautiful people that are liking this post, there is a new rule, you HAVE to also like the one under-neath…They are intrinsically linked and both likes are necessary for the development of mankind! 😉

Go TO OLDER POSTS (come on pleeeeeease ;)) and PRESS LIKE!)

I am like a dog with a bone, I know!

Are we ever going to stand up for the elderly? (They need your ‘left click’ ;))

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Hillary Clinton Health care elderly

Possible SOLUTION here in…

Cammy boy has just been on TV talking about the dementia crisis; chanting fluffy objectives and aims at the subject, when really little will be done; his funding offer is a drop in the ocean.

Whose fault is this?

Well it’s half the fault of the policy makers; but WE are mainly to blame.

I bet there is not one person reading this who hasn’t seen at least one documentary on the abuse of the elderly. We all know they die of malnutrition and neglect, whilst in hospitals and care homes.

I will tell you a story that is not easy for me to divulge as I’m so ashamed of the choice I made. I began work for a care agency and my second day was spent in a large care home, I can’t tell you how stressful and horrendous the shift was, I was completely ill prepared and I had to power walk the entire 8 hours, just to get the job done.

This poor lady had an accident. When we went into her room she and everything else was covered in poop. Two of us were sent in to clear it up and she said

“We haven’t got time to bath her; they only have one bath a week”!

Shame (1968 film)

We left the woman with her own excrement under her fingernails; and half baby wiped the shit off the walls.

I couldn’t go back, but I also didn’t do anything to stand up for that poor lady, I wanted to but I knew if I spoke up I wouldn’t get any more shifts, and I had rent to pay. I made a bad choice; the subculture of ‘keeping your mouth shut’ is rife in this industry, and sadly, abuse becomes a necessary normality; when 3 women are responsible for feeding and putting to bed… 49 disabled poorly people!!!

One documentary showed that if you placed all pensioners in prison, and all prisoners in care homes, they would be better-off. I think they stated around 40 extra rights that prisoners have over the elderly…

Our grandparents

Our veterans

Our family

Our people

Sooooooo, I’ve decide whilst writing this, that if I get ooooodles of likes and comments on this post, I’m gonna send it to Cameron and I will keep you posted on his reply (he has to reply to you by law…;) how wonderful)

Red computer mouse

One Click...

And this request extends to the entire world, not just the residents of Britain, we’re all connected anyway and the idea that we all belong to a home land, kind of falls apart if you go back too many years. So this is a call to ALL members of the world (who might land on this post), to stand up for ALL the elderly people IN OUR WORLD!

Let’s save our sweet and deserving ‘biddies’ today, please people?

SOLUTION (dum dum duummmm)

Policy needs to increase the legal minimum ratio of care workers to residents, and all these problems will be freed up to be solved, by workers and managers. IT’S THAT SIMPLE. Without this, things cannot physically change. The training has stepped up, but MORE bodies are needed. IT IS HONESTLY THAT EASY (for a start anyway)

We will be the elderly in a flash and thus far, were a bit of a disgrace to their existence. It’s so easy to ignore what’s not directly under our noses, even our own family ;(

If you like this I urge you to spam it all over ‘social media town’, pretty please… so they can all ‘likey’ too, and please add any comments to the commons if you have owt to say for our elderly.

Please likey (gooooo on ;)) Danke

Short Number 14 – The Divorce Papers

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Divorce versus Democracy

“Here’s your post”

(Man opens the letter)

“Is divorce really necessary?”

“Yes…You’ve broken my heart”

“That’s a little extreme isn’t it darling? How did I manage that?”

“Polite indifference mainly…Now sign them you nonchalant prick”

“I’ll be sure to have them back with you by 5pm, latest. Bye darling”

“Bye”

(52 words)

Forward Thinking Technology – My Ass!

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Television remote control

Please take a trip down memory lane with me… back to the days of videos/ VHS’s and VCR players.

Do you remember putting a video into its house? If not, let me remind you what used to happen…you pushed the VHS into the slot and before you had a chance to do anything, it would automatically start playing the film. You had to press stop at least twice, before the player took any notice of you whatsoever.

Once the video had stopped, you were able to press re-wind (how inconvenient it used to be, if you forgot to rewind the film the last time you watched it)

Then along came DVD’s… and everyone was chuffed to bits with the idea that they didn’t need to rewind anymore.

All that time saved? (My ass ;))

Maybe it would have been a great idea, if it wasn’t for some imbecile in the design office, who clearly had some kind of fetish for the play button!

The very first time I place a shiny round DVD into its player, it didn’t launch into the film like the joyous VHS. Instead, in front of my eyes were the words

Play and play or play and play… Read the rest of this entry

An update on my post entitled ‘If your partner is ‘Crazy’, run for the hills’

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Eyes of the Insane

I wrote a post this week entitled ‘If your partner is ‘Crazy’, run for the hills (The World, 2012)… How rude!

Here is the comment it generated (all comments are appreciated but this one gripped my appreciative shit!)

“The article is right and wrong at the same time.
I too wouldn’t advise anyone to love a crazy person as most people aren’t capable of it.
In order to love a crazy person, you first have to love yourself, as the love you receive from a crazy person, or at least the perception of it, may be entirely different than one would expect. It may also manifest itself in many indirect manners, which some people find hard to accept.
It takes two things to love a crazy person, well three actually, strength, patience, acceptance and self-love. I guess that’s four, i really should learn how to count one of these days.
But then applying to love a crazy person is like applying to join the special forces, it’s not for anyone and only those who are worthy will find it the most rewarding job in the world”

I can honestly say I was enraged when I read this, and also very touched at the army reference ;), but both reactions did little to stem the massive thought trail that followed

I quote from the comment…It takes patience, strength, acceptance and self-love…..[to love a crazy person]. Yes it does, not just to love the crazy people and not just to love the sane….but to love both Read the rest of this entry

Swopping one addiction for another – Blogger to Buyer!

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I’d go as far as to say – my addiction to Word-Press is mini destroying my life 😉

I’ve never been great at controlling my addictions when they’re in full force, however, I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful man/full on hubby called Vine to counter this problem. He enlightened me on the current levels of cleverness in the realm of technology!

Did you know you can get freeeeee software that limits the amount of time you can spend on certain sites? Yes you probably do (I know I’m a bit slow)

My initial reaction was

“Ooooooo No Vine! I’m not very good at being controlled; I can do it on my own”

THEN…after 24 solid hours of being logged on to WP, I called him back to the house of Dawny, swallowed my pride and admitted that I needed the software assistance.

Off he went with his lightning fingers and just 20 minutes later, the full on love affair between DB and WP was over ;(

Now; I have two measly 1 hour slots, and one 20 minute slot per day… and not a second more! Read the rest of this entry

Eugenics without murder = Ladette to Lady

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Rosemary is a chef, food enthusiast and TV per...

For any of you that are not aware of this delightful television program – The general gist is to improve the behaviour of a selection of ‘out of control girls’; via methods that were used in the finishing schools of the 19th century.

Please note the main goal for the girls participating in this program, is to become a clone of Rosemary Shrager.

During their stay at the mansion of change, they are taught how to dress; how to speak; how to laugh; when to laugh; how to cook; how to sew buttons onto shirts; how to arrange flowers… and how to not get your boobies out in public.

This television programme (although mildly entertaining) is like a giant kick in the teeth to every suffragette. And to all the women who burnt their bras, and tied themselves to gates and fences in order to secure the female vote.

I believe there is mass grave turning happening every Thursday evening from 8 ‘til 9pm

For me, this program is nothing more than a training package to become – A successful candidate for the Stepford wives club Read the rest of this entry