From the archives of my mind
Back in the days…
I was a naughty, rebellious, authority despising, horrible little child. So I figured (early in life), if I re-produced, it would be a bad move. I thought Ms Karma would send me a child, ten times naughtier. But because Ms Karma is clever, my avoidance of the pain of ‘owning a rebel’; was over-ridden! She simply gave me a ‘Rebel Ball’ instead; for this lesson…and probably also as some kind of justice for my poor Mother :0
My RED bouncing ball…Do you own one too?
For each emotion I have a WHITE ball, a really bouncy one, and note… it bounces vertically only. The top to bottom of a bounce, covers a fair distance but I’m adjusted to this, and some bounces are fabulous, which makes their EXTENT both a blessing and a curse.
I regularly wait… for the balls to eventually return to ground; as each one periodically rears its head. And I come out the other side, with my ‘pre bounce’ twisty/shiny levels much the same ….
However….there’s this one particular ball that is far more complex. I’m not sure if it’s awoken by a feeling or an emotion, but something wakes the beast! This ball is RED and it goes up and down, but also; sideways, and bloody diagonally …….Every time it bounces, it sets off the other balls, and these previously understood ‘well-behaved’ balls become a rolling, crashing mystery; I can’t catch any of them!
Of all the balls, this one is the strongest; the least understood; the worst of me; the best of me; the covered me; the naked me; the darkest me; and the shiniest me. Both ‘unreal’ and more real than any other. It’s impossible to control, and impossible to tell when it will just stop…..hours, days, weeks, years……but when it thankfully does STOP……..(much like the rebel child)
The singular balls make sense again…..they are all just white once more, and nothing ‘boings’ them sideways and causes ‘messy pile ups’
I think its RED so it can hide so well in my insides… See it doesn’t want me to ever know where it resides, cos it knows if I found out where it lived…..I’d evict the swine forever! ;/
Unless it stopped being such a little rebel, and learned to how bounce up and down like the well-behaved, though slightly excitable white ones. Then I might let it stay…