I’ve got a cold have I Doctor? A COLD?

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Poster encouraging citizens to "Consult y...

Whoever decided to name the common cold a cold, was obviously

A)     As hard as nails

And

B)      An idiot!

A foooooking cold ay?

Before I begin the analysis; please note that I have 2 full time, full on diseases. I won’t bore you with the details, just know that I’m noooo pussy 😉

But…

Oh My Lordy Lord!!!

I have been bitch slapped to the ground with this mini ‘health-arama’; known as a cold

I am not cold, I am burning up

I have been coughing for the last 7 hours or so, solid. This has well and truly heated up both :- the tissue on my lungs; and my temper. As I’m slightly tired and sleep deprived…

But still not cold

I am ‘buckarooing’ all over the show, every time I cough or sneeze (every 10 seconds or so) and again, this increased activity is warming me up somewhat! STILL NOT COLD

I am surrounded by tissues. Some are dry and some are wet. None are cold

My throat feels like it has a razor in it. When I am sipping iced tea, my throat is cold; with the razor feeling, not so much…

I’m drinking a Lemsip Max, arguably the best friend of a cold and guess what? It’s so hot it is burning my lip!

I guess the only thing this crappy title has on its side; is this…

I definitely DO NOT look hot; I look so far away from hot, I’d go as far as to say I look the opposite to hot; which would be COLD

So that’s 1 point for the hard as nails idiot; who clearly defined this health issue based on his own narcissistic vanity only!

Cold my ass

I’m mini dying!

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