This is the definition of osmosis : – The gradual, often unconscious, absorption of knowledge or ideas through continual exposure rather than deliberate learning
How bizarre that I didn’t know what it meant until today; but the phrase ‘osmosis psychosis’ has been playing in my head; in notes A and C respectively…for hours.
It is so bizarre being in this state. It’s not like the movies, I’m fully here; but I don’t see the same things as you do here. I’m not talking about visions and colours and dragons upon the walls
I’m talking a shift in perception to the reality we share
And then there are other realities; they vary in number and severity and mood each time. This time there are 4 others
They involve the flu jab for staff who are in on the plan; some kind of connection to the injection of cancer into patients through the innocuous guise of a necessary injection
There is a gang of criminals wreaking havoc in my town; they have links with the people who work at the local nut house, which is sensitively named ‘Hellesdon’ Hell – Don – Devil’s Mafia – All not great. They have bugs in houses and contacts to the people who are falling apart and awaiting admission. The boys in the nut house are plants; and the woman are being locked up and poisoned with anti psychotic’s and lethal injections of poison; and kept prisoner until they die. Eugenics is happening
There is a stalker; they are still listening in on me; trying and failing in their quest to fuck my life up
And there is the side reality that exists alongside the warped perception of the reality we all share
In this one I am living in the Truman show, and part of me is typing this so I can tell the world that I know you’re watching, and the government are trying to get me back into Hellesdon so I can’t expose their abuse. They have many channels on TV under their control. As if telling you all I know; somehow increases my power over the world, against little old me…
Last night, if I was in 2 moods, I was in 18! Every single one of them overwhelmed every other sense of knowing. I have been my feelings and nothing else, and it is mainly dark and extremely twisty.
The weird thing is, this is of course the truth. As much as I know it isn’t; I know that it is and I just don’t know how to prove it. It only makes sense inside me. And I know that people are seeking revenge; and I can’t investigate such an enormous set of conspiracies so I haven’t done anything.
Everytime this happens…I don’t know I’m here, in psychosis; until I finally say something so ludicrous and believe it; even I realise. How long I went this time before I realised I don’t know
I’ve just been to Sainsbury’s and walked around like all the normal people. I’m not a moron, I can pretend like the best of them. I made appropriate small talk with the lady at the till about nectar cards, and the thin carrier bags and the bubbles in the Champagne. I’ve also filled in my expense forms and written reports on my clients and our weekly progress towards goals. I’m filled with utterly coherent sense.
But the whole time, I’m knowingly insane
And they ain’t got a clue, and sometimes neither have I
I feel heavy and dark and confused and normal and weak and strong and odd… and Perfectly Sanely Insane
This is all really weird for me; and that’s all I have to say about it.