THE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD
FOR BEING MENTAL AND LOVING IT
I stole this award from the wonderful blog/blogger known as Dotty Headbanger (Thank-you Dotty Headbanger). Soooo, if you are gagging for an award to show off, please visit this ‘ere link and just nab it for yourself
Tragic to self award? Quite possibly!
Do I care? I’m afraid not, I’d go as far as to say I’m brimming with Pride 😉
Anyway, if you award yourself you will need to answer the following questions
QUESTIONS TO ANSWER
1. How many bricks do you own?
2. How many Cumberland sausages can you fit in your mouth without chewing?
3. What is your most inventive way of using biscuits (or cookies if you’re American)?
4. If it was made compulsory to have a mental illness which one would you choose and why? (If you have a mental illness already you have to choose another).
1. I have 4 bricks, I’ve sold 15, and I’m down to using just 2 a day
2. 612 and a half cumberlands
3. I like to use biscuits to frighten the living bejesus’s out of people. I bought one of them machines that distorts voices, then I bought a microphone, then I got the phone book out and chose 18 people at random to call. When I heard them say hello, I cracked a biscuit in half, in range of the distorter and the microphone, and 16 of them screamed…it sounds exactly like the snapping of a human neck! (I JOKE! ;)) and I also haven’t snapped any, not even one, or heard one snap for that matter!
4. This is soooo not fair, I have loads of mental illnesses…..(OK I’m thinking)…..
Oh that’s it. Sling me a drop of Agoraphobia, then all I’d have to do is sit indoors all day and write caustic bilge. Oh Betty! This award has led me to the realisation that I am one illness away, (agoraphobia) from morphing into Jack Nicholson’s character in ‘As good as it gets’
Just a pennyless female version, with a blog instead of a publisher. Apart from that, we’re much the same!
Somebody help me Pleeeeeease…