Holding On to Let Go…

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Being a drinker from the positivity cup for quite some years, I developed a great skill, or what I thought was a great skill. An ability to forget the person who caused me pain when I almost remembered them. What I didn’t realise was this skill was making me extremely sick. When I thought  I was forgetting, I was actually losing my mind in the process. On the surface I was winning, but inside I was rotting; rotting because I was ignoring the poisonous effect of letting go on a conscious level, when my sub conscious was crying out to remember

So now, I have to find a new way. A way that integrates the old days with the new. Or so I thought…

The truth is, the only way is the old way

There is nothing positive about having your heart-broken, the old way knows this, so once again I am a slave to my meandering thoughts

The things that remind me of you have to stay in my conscious mind

The things that hurt me are forced to replay over and over inside me

The things that made me laugh and the things that melted my heart stay with me, whist I laugh, then the laughter stops, til eventually I cry

In fighting the process of my heart with my mind, I destroyed my mind anyway

So now, I drink from the positivity cup when I can, and the rest of the time, I drink from memories that hurt, knowing that the long way is the only way…

One day in the future, the smiles, the laughter, the pain and the tears will come at less regular intervals

One day I won’t have to think of you in order to retain my sanity

Until then…I have to remember the things I wish to forget

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About Littlebeut333

'Random Spillages from a Reportedly Strange mind’… Hello all :) I’m Dawny, the littlest of the Beuts..and my brain spillage content varies from the profoundly philosophical, to utter bilge ://…Life is my inspiration. I write about friends, love, the soul, society, shrinks, people, labels, home, mothers, perfect moments, dirty politicians, music, pain, beauty, women, religion, god, mental health, the demise of humanity!!! etc…hence the ‘random’. All spilled through the eye of my ‘ever musing, slightly philosophical mind’. Although I write mostly for enjoyment, and to empty my oh so busy head; sharing my snippets appeals to me, and I also love reading the thought trails of others. I would be most chuffed if anyone comes across my page and has a browse (and if you do, thanks in advance). I guess the biggest compliment would be if, for you, my rambles are either :- slightly different from the norm, enjoyable, amusing, unenjoyable, and/or thought/emotion provoking. Whatever them thoughts or emotions might be…The good, the bad, the ugly..and everything in between!! ;)… I accidently fell in love with writing a while ago, and from that time, my inspiration has come solely from lifes varied encounters, feelings, knowledge, memories and thoughts. Welcome to my archives, to some sections of my mind :0 Dawny

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