Geezer Birds and Camp Alpha Males


I’ve never really been a girly girl on a large-scale. Don’t get me wrong, I adore shoes, I love an excuse to put a spangly dress on, and I probably have more clothes and handbags than Vera Wang herself

I also have zero tolerance for anyone touching my hair in case they mess with the direction of my curls, and/or pushing my eye brow hair in the wrong direction!


I have always been the token lad when I’m hanging out with the boys… a poker playing, mischievous, direct, semi alcoholic, adrenaline seeking, bossy sod! And I don’t exactly exude that age-old feminine trait – vulnerability.

Also; when I blow my nose I reckon it’s a good 50 decibels louder than your average chick. Some call me a ‘geezer bird’. I find men very easy to get on with, but as for ladies, I’m an acquired taste in the ‘company’ sense. I have an equal balance of mates, but none of my girl mates are ‘girly girls’ either

I hadn’t given this much thought until recently when I met this guy through a friend of a friend, and he was an odd specimen of the male race. He was the epitome of a Man’s Man! An alpha male without doubt, in terms of his past, his actions, his chatter, his chauvinistic views about relationships, not to mention his lengthy list of naughty convictions, all of which were things you rarely hear of a girl doing

HOWEVER…He has a plethora of girly traits that leave him standing well on the meaty side of camp, and he is not remotely gay. We were chatting one night after a few beers and several stories later, I discovered he has 4 sisters and his parents separated when he was young, so he grew up with 5 women and once I knew this, I could see how he ended up as a camp alpha male…

This got me thinking about the impact of family on gender and habits

In my home when we were little, my brother ruled the gaff without doubt, and that includes him overpowering my Mum with his stubborn streak, if the 3 of us kids did anything, went anywhere at all, my big bro was in charge…And now I see why I am so in touch with my ‘boyish traits’; it’s because I learnt most of my behaviours from my brother, behaviours I put into the category of normal

What I didn’t realise til recently was, they were normal for boys, but not so much for the ladies

For example – We used to play a game we named ‘Bummer’…This involved screaming ‘BUMMER’ when we felt a fart coming on, and then we would try to ambush each other, tackle to the ground whoever was nearest, and try to sit on their head just in time to release the fart 🙂


I thought this was normal until the first time I farted in school, and all the girls squealed with shock, whilst the boys laughed A LOT!

So in my family it wasn’t a ratio thing, but a leaning toward the strongest member…it was 3 girls to 1 boy in our house, yet me and my sister morphed into mini versions of my bro

And the camp alpha male I mentioned, morphed into his 5 sisters, ratio 5 girls to 1 boy…

What I find most entertaining is that until I met ‘Mr Camp Alpha’, I had no idea that half of my traits belonged in the boys camp (traditionally)

When you were growing up, did you have a sibling or parent so strong-minded and expressive that you too have ended up a tad lost in the ‘gender pile’ of Do’s and Dont’s?

Still laughing about ‘Bummer’, though I must tell you that we managed to successfully pin Leigh down twice…ever… tops! He got us twice a day on average!

Tis quite a fun game – Observing people when they feel comfortable in your company, to try to figure whether the girls or the boys in their household called the shots when they were growing up! When I was 15 me and my bro did everything together when he was home on leave, and I guess I was so busy getting pissed on the beach at 3am with a beeny hat on, having raided Nan’s drinks cabinet again, I forgot to notice that girls were wearing dresses and experimenting with mascara

I still find farts funny all these years later, some things you just can’t shake 🙂

3 responses »

  1. I’m glad you appreciated the ultra cute pussy cat :0; just as much as you can find the wonder in a simple fart! 🙂 Thanks for commenting and I love your blog BTW…Dawny

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