I have been walloped with the longings of my biological clock! For 20 years I was 100% sure that I didn’t wanna make any mini Dawny’s
It would seem I am now 100% clucking, at the utterly entrancing wonder of every tiny little human that passes me by!
I just hope the 1000 reasons why I should not be a mother, continue to keep me from running outside and hollering
“Man wanted to father wondrous human, if you’re genetically sound, doooo come in and kindly knock me up” 😉 Read the rest of this entry
The conclusion stands until further notice
There may not be any further notices on this subject, maybe there will, either way is cool beans for me!?
At the moment my body is defying movement
It’s never gone on this long, ever, but I know there is some serious healing to be done
The greatest blessing to come from God’s friendship and our faith in each other?
I no longer feel the need or desire to chase life’s dreams
If my dream of being a columnist re-ignites, I’ll simply announce myself as a columnist and set up a new blog, simplessssss 🙂
I’m no longer bothered about my bottom of the pile ‘social status’
That is not who I am, only I need to know that Read the rest of this entry
Someone once told me that you can learn an enormous amount about a person’s nature, if you play this little Q) and A) game
You’re stranded on a desert island, and you will be stuck there for a few months (minimum)
What 3 things would you take with you and why?
1) A Nivea lip balm. Mainly because, once you apply the stuff for more than a week, your body stops making ‘lip grease’ (non scientific explanation). I once believed that the body would figure out – that the moisturising effect was coming from outside of me…apparently not. On a dry day, you’re looking at a maximum comfort period of 15 minutes, before they and I begin to crack. My best friend now buys a bulk box of 28 at a time for me (bless him) as he got sick to death of the ‘lip-arama’ that flowed from me, every time I lost 1. I now have 5 in my handbag at all times in case of emergency 😉 Read the rest of this entry
The physical manifestation of a divine presence, has finally been delivered and confirmed through a ‘foot related miracle’!!! 😉
Never again will I question creation
For I’ve been blessed with a tangible and touchable slice of Heaven (courtesy of the textile department [up top])
My soul doth singeth with other worldliness and deep love, each time I see them –
Resting on my rug
Attached to moi, in a ‘heavenly-esque’…’feet meets shoes’ re-union of utter joy and wonderment!
The secret to true freedom lies in theories
If you’re confused, you can research a number of explanations for clarity
If you research enough differing theories, ‘reality’ officially becomes a complete mystery
And along comes the greatest cure to the greatest question
“I don’t know…Ask me one on sport!” 😉
Please scatter her sleep with dreams divine
Please infiltrate her pain with scenes sublime
Please trigger the memories that strengthen her spine
Please let her know she’s committed no crime
Please bring her your love through each wave, and all time
Please heal my friend…an angel of mine
Please open her heart and leave her eyes blind
Please give her your blinkers, allow her to hide
Please give her your arms when she breaks down and cries
Please fill her with peace when she just can’t abide Read the rest of this entry
When I’m feeling blue, one of my favourite things to do is to spend the night reading your fabulous snippets of wisdom ere on WordPress… I do tend to subscribe to blogs that are positive, loving and spiritual, but some days, when the ugly side of life penetrates my brain, I’m all too aware that not everybody subscribes to love, or believes in it in the same way that we fluffy folk do
This past year my life has changed almost beyond measure, and it feels like I’ve done a decade’s worth of learning in a mere 12 months
I guess the greatest thing I’ve gained is faith and ‘The Experience of God Sized Love’
God literally saved my life 4 times and filled me with the most mahoosive dose of love and kindness, far past any feeling of love I have ever felt or could imagine
Most days I wake up and thank him profusely, but today I felt heavy, and for the first time, I was frightened that as my idealistic outlook gets dipped with some less pleasant droplets of reality, I might lose hope. So (you may think I’m insane for believing that he answers me) I got my trusty notepad out and asked him for his take – This was what followed Read the rest of this entry
I woke up this morning scared and sad…
I don’t keep up with current events, I don’t watch the news and I don’t read the papers. This got me thinking about the stories they print.
My reasons for not indulging are as follows…
I don’t need to read the papers anymore because every day the news is repeated. I no longer have to tune in to know that somewhere there is a war happening, that is destroying thousands of lives everyday
Someone will be running a story on human rights and I don’t have to know the journalist, to know that they will be mocking the importance of these misunderstood rights; assigning them as the root to our social problems, and undoubtedly including a link to prisoners being fed! God forbid!
At least one story about racial tension and immigration will feature, and some bull shit statistic will cause yet more tension on someones doorstep Read the rest of this entry
I watched this documentary the other night on stars AND IT WAS BLOODY AMAZING! So much so, that I’m considering dipping into BBC4 on a regular basis, even though the dry old ‘voice over’s’ sound like a bunch of stoned aristocrat’s; and whether male or female, they have a shockingly negative impact on my general well-being! (It doesn’t take much environmental stimuli, to send me over the royal edge ;))
Anyhoo, according to a plethora of clever people, we are made of star-dust or less romantically (I quote) – nuclear waste!
Apparently, there are 92 things in the entire universe and we’re all made of these 92 things. Everything on earth; stars, plants, animals, sea-life, humans, the ocean, other planets etc…
Humans however, have somehow popped out with rather more troubles than say – your average Yucca plant! How did we, as balls of matter made of exactly the same stuff as everything else, end up in this pickle we call reality?
How did we go from atoms/dust – to individuals who know they exist? Where did we collect our ego along the way? And what a bleeding disability to throw upon us (an ego), with mere space dust as the starting block of life. Read the rest of this entry
“Can I help?”
“I have help, it just looks different, abstract…somewhat scattered”
“Why is it so hard?”
“Because we are making solid ‘rock’ from the energy of thought. That takes time”
“How long will you be?”
“When it’s cooked, it’s cooked”
“Neither time nor steps get me to ground zero”
“Only temperature does”
They climb the rest of the steps in silence
When I was young I used to be scared of Pigeons, maybe because a family member who will remain nameless (;0)… scattered bird seeds onto the top of my head in the middle of Trafalgar Square; where half of the world’s pigeons ‘hang out’, and my skull got pecked to buggery by about 15 of the swine’s!
English: London: Trafalgar square
Anyhoo, now that I’m a big girl, I’m kinda in love with birds, and in particular…Pigeons
1. I love the way they shoot their heads back and forth (horizontal like) when they walk around
2. When I look at the skinny-ness of their legs, I’m baffled at the miracle that is –
‘A pigeon walking’…
How those little sticks support the weight of their well rounded selves, I just don’t know!
3. Their beady little eyes come in 3rd
And that is pretty much it…Not a lot to go on, but these 3 little things make me love them. I often stop in the street to watch in wonderment, if I see one strutting his/her stuff! Check out this little chap in action, and next time you’re in need of witnessing a miracle…Remember to look at those matchstick legs and the rules of physics and mass! They defy all logic, which renders their ability to walk, firmly in the ‘magical and miraculous’ arena of life
Just a thought – Maybe their legs are prone to successfully holding them up, because they are knee-less!
Upon further inspection, it looks like they have knees in their upper thighs! Go Figure 😉
When I was little, my Mum told me over and over that all she ever wanted me to be – was happy
I went through a phase of wishing that instead, she had told me she wanted me to chase my dreams.
Then I learnt some lessons, gained some knowledge, and experienced an awakening inside me…of ‘God’ and of ‘Spirituality’. It produced a feeling so far past perfection, there are no words to describe it, no words to do justice to the moment, no route out of it, or away from it. I sobbed tears of pure joy…This moment alone, made me what I am, and made my life somehow, already complete
If I go back a bit in time; I spent some years in the rat race, until illness took me out of it; and before I felt that feeling, I was struggling to keep up with the rest of the world, failing miserably and marching towards finishing my degree and getting a ‘good job’. Thinking I’d be happy if I could just get those 2 things ‘sorted’.
But; back to that feeling…It was love, unity, peace and maybe just maybe, it was a brief moment spent in the spandangly wonder that is the ‘One-ness’. For that moment, the upper level of the experience was perfection in its purest form…and the under current was a safe and warm message that ‘everything is OK’ Read the rest of this entry
I’m mildly miffed about turning 34!
4’s are not aesthetically pleasing to my eyeballs
This got me thinking about the rest of the numbers… I only like the look and feel of 1,2 and 3!
And this knowledge has rippled out…causing ‘major miffage’!!! I realised with abject horror that I’ve used up all my combo’s of 1,2 and 3 … FOREVER!!!!
Never again will I be 11, 12, 13, 21, 22, 23, 31, 32 or the ultra spandangly 33
(unless I make it to 100+, which is both highly unlikely and quite frankly, dread inducing)
For the rest of my life I’m gonna be a unpretty age! I particularly dislike the look of 6 and 8…If you know me on my 68th birthday, you should avoid me, as I will have number induced moodiness of the highest order! Read the rest of this entry
A couple of years ago, I came out of my shrinks office into the waiting area, and I saw this poem on the wall. Unfortunately I cannot give credit to the author ‘cos I can’t make out the name. I was on lithium at the time (a mood stabiliser)- which doesn’t make you shake; it makes you rattle!… So; it took about 8 attempts to get a photo with words just clear enough to read, and it sits by the side of my bed. When I’m ‘blue’ it reminds me of the beauty we are surrounded by, and the peace to be found within nature…So with thanks to the unknown wibbly author…I hope he/she doesn’t mind me sharing this beautiful poem for you to enjoy!
Man has taken for granted too long, the beauty of the planet he dwells upon
Never become complacent with nature
The spirit communes in awe
To be surrounded by its energy calms the most troubled of souls
Mountains, forests, endless skies and wilderness
The Earth, the Sun, Moon and Stars
Every Human spirit, however tainted lost or corrupt
Can be made complete.
Even the lowliest misanthrope.
3 of me fight to take the wheel each day
To dictate the mood and the motion
While the other 2 hide away
Too damaged and afraid for sunlight, and scared of the darkness too
Buried even to me
That wasn’t enough though was it
You came and shattered my existence into thirds
Made sure I’ll forever be dismissed as absurd
Reality, illusion, destruction…The titles you’ve embedded on the 3 worlds created Read the rest of this entry
I have a rather bulging treasure chest of mental illnesses and as expected, anxiety plays a large part in my life and my symptoms. Over the years I have gone from the status of
‘Social Butterfly’ to ‘Helma the Hermit’
Anyhoo, I was trawling the net to try to find some help for the swine that is anxiety; and I found this AMAZING site.
It is quite simply – A bubbling cauldron of spandangly insight, wisdom and tools! The guy who runs/owns the site has written a book on anxiety, but there is so much info on his page, I didn’t feel the need to purchase the book.
Instead, I used one of my many many unused and shiny notebooks (it’s a crushing fetish/addiction; since they started pimping them with flowers and butterflies (DAMN YOU CHINA with your tempting plethora of delightful goods ;)). ANYHOO – Back to the point, I now own a utilised notebook named
My Little Book of Anxiety
I wrote down key points from each page, and I’ve been reading it everyday since Read the rest of this entry