Dear Body, I’m Sorry…


Dear Body,

Considering our history, you may find some of the words written here, very difficult to believe. Probably because of the way I used to see you

That does not make them any the less true…

I’m sorry for mocking your dimpled thighs. I wish it was just mocking that needed a mention, but hatred was/is in there too…body 3

You have carried me for 34 long years, and in that time I have done nothing to nourish you. Instead I have pumped you full of junk food, drugs, alcohol and nicotine, just to name a few of many unhealthy substances

I have starved you of sleep and fuel, and poisoned you endlessly, and when you carried me through yet another night, parading on the grounds of life and death, I woke up in the morning, looked at you and felt nothing but pure hatred. Hatred of my shape, hatred of my un-toned flesh, hatred for my love handles, and my bingo wings, and my sticky outy ass, and my out of proportion piecesbody

You work tirelessly, 24/7. There is no rest for you, as even whilst I sleep, you must stay awake and try to mend all that I have broken

I moan about my dimpled thighs when there are people who would give almost anything to just walk…People have missing arms, missing legs, missing organs, dysfunctional body parts like failing kidneys and diseased hearts, and these ‘missing pieces’ destroy lives…

Far past appreciating all the working parts of my life/body, I instead chose to hate you for not being a perfect size 10!

Well; life sure does teach us about whats really important, sooner or later

For you – Dear old body of mine, the realization of your wonder has come latest of all…

What I’m really trying to say is –

I do love you now, and I’m sorry for hating you for such a long time. Thankyou for carrying me everywhere I go, thankyou for choosing to wobble instead of malfunctioning completely. Thankyou for keeping the rain out with your magic waterproof skin; thankyou for giving my arms the strength needed to carry heavy loads. Thankyou for giving me ridiculously small ankles, as when they often ‘give way’…I’m reminded how difficult it is to crawl around ze house, as opposed to walkingbody 1

Thankyou for fighting so hard to keep me at a distance from physical disability

I’m sorry for the past dear body, and though I can’t say with honesty, that I like how you look. I CAN honestly say at last that I love you; I’m in awe of you; I respect you; I’m endlessly grateful for you and I’m truly sorry for being your enemy for so long. Hopefully, my actions will prove to you that I mean what I say. It’s time I put you 1st for a while, as when I think about it, you’ve been putting me 1st for 34 years and I’ve given you nowt back but crap. I’m humbled by your silent struggle, by your stamina, and by your will to live

I have much to learn from you, and I intend to do all I can to nurture what I’ve damaged, so that we can do the rest of this journey together… in some sort of harmony. I know now how much I need you, and how close I have been to losing you…body 2

Love Dawny Xxx

About Littlebeut333

'Random Spillages from a Reportedly Strange mind’… Hello all :) I’m Dawny, the littlest of the Beuts..and my brain spillage content varies from the profoundly philosophical, to utter bilge ://…Life is my inspiration. I write about friends, love, the soul, society, shrinks, people, labels, home, mothers, perfect moments, dirty politicians, music, pain, beauty, women, religion, god, mental health, the demise of humanity!!! etc…hence the ‘random’. All spilled through the eye of my ‘ever musing, slightly philosophical mind’. Although I write mostly for enjoyment, and to empty my oh so busy head; sharing my snippets appeals to me, and I also love reading the thought trails of others. I would be most chuffed if anyone comes across my page and has a browse (and if you do, thanks in advance). I guess the biggest compliment would be if, for you, my rambles are either :- slightly different from the norm, enjoyable, amusing, unenjoyable, and/or thought/emotion provoking. Whatever them thoughts or emotions might be…The good, the bad, the ugly..and everything in between!! ;)… I accidently fell in love with writing a while ago, and from that time, my inspiration has come solely from lifes varied encounters, feelings, knowledge, memories and thoughts. Welcome to my archives, to some sections of my mind :0 Dawny

7 responses »

  1. Hey Meredith, It’s probably something I’ve done in my settings knowing me. IT never was my strong point…But going backwards and forwards is my forte ;)…Have a lovely Day!…Luv Dawny 🙂

  2. Hey there borednicole, thanks for commenting…I was impressed by the spinach especially, I think spinach fixes all sorts 🙂 am also trying to plough enough friut and veg in me to turn back ze rot! I hope your knees are actually OK, as that last bit made me chuckle, if it was a lickle joke, thanks, I liked it. If not, god bless your knees and I hope they get a 2nd wind!..Luv Dawny Xxx

  3. Hey beautiful! Hope life is treating you well…Indeed it does a bloody marvellous job and I’m kinda amazed I’m still standing :)…Poor old beast of mine needs some long term loving! Today I fed it spag bol and toast with no fags 🙂 progress! Hope your looking after yours too…Luv Dawny Xxx

  4. Lovely and better late than never. I present a daily peace offering of fresh spinach and fruit in hopes my body will forgive me for much of the same abuse. My knees were pretty bitter though, they didn’t accept my apology. 😉

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