If I was a Car!


I would be too big at the backcar

I would have inconsistent and inexplicable oil needs

Prone to breakdowns during short haul journeys

My battery would be flat often, for no fathomable reason

Every MOT would be filled with never before seen malfunctions

I would accelerate prematurely (formula one styleeee) with ba mere tap on the gas pedal

My steering wheel would have a mind of its own, causing me to turn off at random moments in the most straight ahead of journeys

I would brake at the last-minute

My tires would ware down at a rapid rate due to my naturally heavy load

My interior would be full of doody buttons

My water would need regular top ups due to the steaming hot outpourings of my enginecar2

I would crash into other cars often, leaving dents that somehow look just right

I would race big carts and lose 70% of the time

I would need servicing every 3000 miles

My spark plugs would be temperamental by nature

I would be silver

My lights would sometimes blind other drivers, and sometimes dim to dangerously low levels

I would be called Esmerelda

I would live until I became a tax-free classic

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