In the quest to cheer the fooook up before I keel over….I have, on numerous occasions, written lists of all my blessings and I have to say; I’m lucky to have a pretty long list. However, I don’t think a name/one word summary does many favours to covey the richness and depth of goodness, that some of the people and things on my list, bring to my life.
The trouble with lists :- When I read the list back to myself, I can’t help but feel like, the act of ‘blessing the blessings’ (giving them the level of appreciation they deserve and hold), gets minimized and becomes almost mechanical. FEELING gratitude rather than NOTING gratitude, make for 2 very different states of mind
Sooooo, ramble ramble, the long and short of it is – I am going to try to capture the essence of the people and circumstances on my list, one at a time…I am going to savour slowly, all that I have, by really digging down into each separate person or place, noting their qualities, our experiences, our memories, and anything else that I associate with the people on my list
I’m gonna start easy, with the greatest woman in my life, the greatest woman I’ve ever met and will probably ever come to know!!!
If I had to describe her in 20 words, I’d choose :-
Giving, Loving, Generous, Thoughtful, Forgiving, Kind, Special, Gentle, Warm, Nurturing, Amiable, Welcoming, Healing, Strong, Sweet, Great Listener, Empathic, Dedicated, Champion Hugger (That’s 21 and she’s still got more good traits, a lot more)
– Adored Friend, Mother, Auntie, Daughter, Sister, Wife, Grandma…
She is never too busy for anyone. I simply don’t know how she does it, but she helps so many people, so much of the time, and she just never ever seems to run remotely low on ‘give juice’...even when life ensures she ‘gets’ nowt but shite to deal with, for bloody eons at a time, she still manages to care for all the people in her life.
And she does exactly that; she cares for everyone she knows, and for many that she doesn’t (know)…and she doesn’t do it for any of the egotistic reasons that some people give for; she does it because she has a heart of pure gold
When her and Dad got divorced, we were placed in a crime riddled shed of a tower block, she was totally broke, surrounded by scary situations and people, and she had us 3 kids to cope with (we were NIGHTMARE kids, really really just naturally, very naughty little sods)…It wasn’t long before she had become surrogate mum to all the kids on our set of balconies.
Every single saturday she would take us kids to band practice and without exception, she’d wake up to find at least one car window smashed in; the phone lines were torched every sunday, like clockwork…There were maggots in the shute room and human turds in the lifts. But, on peanuts, she made that little flat into a beautiful, clean, bright and cheery home, and all she ever cared about was us kids
She has been by my side through the absolute hell that serious mental illness brings. She’s got me through depressed, manic, suicidal and psychotic, over and over and over
She’s endured more pain and suffering than she ever ever deserved and she’s remained the steady, calming, loving being that she is
My God! I could tell you (and/or me) a million and one stories about her where she has overcome all the awful things that co-exist with motherhood, poverty, criminality, 3 crazy ass kids, 2 unhappy marriages, and about 84 bucket loads of life’s difficult dramas
She remains in the face of adversity, exactly the same woman she is when things are rosy.
She is simpy…an astounding person. An exceptional person! She is a constant reminder of all that is good in this world, she means so very much to so many people, and the only crazy thing about her is that she thinks she’s not worthy of love!!!…
The woman is like an elastic band love ball, where each stretched band represents a time where she has been stretched and spread far too thinly, yet has remained in a space of loving service, to basically, anyone who ever needed anyone or anything!
This short account of her just goes to show, how special she really is :-
– My 20 words were not nearly enough
– As I sat writing this, recalling the years spent in the tower block from hell, there were hundreds of other memories flooding into my brain; all times where she has amazed me/humbled me/taught me/showed me/forgiven me/loved me/accepted me/guided me/astounded me
Some people believe that we all choose our parents before birth! If this is true, I have no doubt in my mind that I would have chosen her. Given the option of anyone in this world, I would re-choose her a thousand times or more…
I may add to this post as time goes on, but for today I’m pleased to say, I have counted my Mother in my blessings til’ I FELT her impact. By spending this time noting and sharing just a smidging of her qualities, I REALLY appreciate her so much more than I did when she was distilled into 3 little letters on a list. It takes 3 milliseconds to say ‘My Mum’s a blessing’…It takes a thousand words to do justice to her essence…
‘Blessing my Blessings’