Yoga for The Toes and Fingers Anyone? Here’s hoping! :)

Status

Anyone who knows me well will not hesitate to confirm that I am a die-hard hater of exercise

Because

1. I hate sweating

exercise2. Due to a damaged nervous system, I sweat profusely from one side of my body only (having 2 sweaty pits looks like you’ve worked hard…One sweaty pit and you look like a freak, added to this, is the right side of my back being soaked whilst the left stays dry. I’m proper self-conscious about it

3. I don’t dig physical exertion at all

4. When you hate something, the brain is not clever enough to know you (apparently) secretly love it (as experts will have you believe). When your conscious thoughts about it are wholly negative, I believe the apparent endorphin rush expected during or after exercise is an alien concept. Feel good chemicals need feel good vibes

5. I always have something better to do when exercise is offered as the only other alternative

6. I went swimming before work for 3 whole weeks once! It nearly killed me…I was ms mood from hell at the gym queue at 6am, too tired to speak to my swim mate. I got to work stinking of chlorine with soaking wet hair and proceeded to fall asleep at my desk

7. During this period I never once felt a rush of anything bar my inner voice pleading with me to stop the madness (ohhhhhh the drama)exercise 1

8. I was supposed to also be noticing how much more alert and awake I was! Well…what a load of old tripe! I literally fell asleep at my desk on more than 2 occasions. It left me shattered and hungry like a horse!!!

Anyways…fast forward about a decade and I’m a bit torn about nurturing the body. Due to a severe depression that lasted over a year but felt more like ten! I have been chair bound for a long time and I know enough about exercise to know that the only thing I could possibly tolerate is Yoga. I must admit the slowness appeals to the ‘butt rester’ in me

But not just any old yoga…Yoga for the lazy

I’m off on a quest to see if anyone has capitalised on us ‘chair dwelling folk’ who are happy to move arms and toes only in the pursuit of physical stamina. My smokers lungs heave away after a trip to the bathroom, which is next door! I am a complete and utter disgrace to those who are disciplined enough to drag their weary ass to the gym

If I was rich and had a swimming pool in the bathroom, my thighs would look a lot different to what they do now! I don’t wanna sweat and I don’t think my lack of coordination, nor my inability to control my limbs, stand me in good stead for recreating the strange shapes they bosh out at classes!!!

Oooooooo what to do?exercise 2

Carry on heaving after 8 steps

Or

Give in and at least try to find something active for my poor body to benefit from. I can police my mind when it likes to do lots of chatting (sort of), I can soothe my heart when it swells and contracts (ish), but I’m really rubbish at even noticing my body, which is probably why I’ve only just noticed the breathing situation… after my whole…wait for it…9 step journey (not 8 as suspected earlier) to the bathroom

Yoga for the toes…Google ere we come!

– Ha ha! Toe exercises exist! There is a God 🙂

If anyone knows of anyway to get fit without moving at all, please do holler, I will pay you handsomely for your methods! Giving up smoking is not an acceptable solution (though it gets 10 out of 10 for merit, it’s just not happening and therefore, it’s both useful and totally defunct!

Toodles for now Peeps

and

Mwah tut you all in the bloggus-sphere

 

 

 

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5 responses »

  1. Glad we connected Dawny!, My very very best friend of all times is a toe exercise girl with smoking like a smoke stack..Love her unconditionally as I do all of us with our habits of humanness..just love love love yourself no matter what! By the way angels can ramble also! Heart to Heart Robyn

  2. Hey there Earth Angel…I’m kinda excited to be conversing with an angel 🙂 Thankyou for taking the toime to comment…AND GO YOU for losing 30lbs, it sure is a constant battle ay? The amount of toe twizzling I do, I can understand how I dont burn more calories (lol)…I do hope some of your determination filters down to me, and then I can share my weight loss with you. BUt as the saying goes, beauty is only skin deep but no excuse for me treating my body the way I do…anyways I’m rambling so I’ll say toodles for now. Have a Tip a dee top day…Luv Dawny 🙂

  3. Seriously love your honesty! I would definitely give you tips if I could discover them myself.. From the girl who worked on this physical form for 4 months (working out Twice a week straight )to lose 30 pounds I would love to just think it and Walaa ….. only IF could never have to do any of that again! Heart to heart Robyn Thanks for finding my blog.. Spiritual ascension is a a great restful time for me, yet had to bring in this body to have that happen!

  4. Try looking at Pinterest, I’m sure you’ll find something helpful on there.

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