Category Archives: Love

That 4 Letter Word…Causes All The Strife, Causes All of Life, Awakens Our Inner Wife, Cuts Like a Knife, Our Fuel For This Life…

Standard

Love ? I love love love you.When God said – Love is all there is… I understand now the depth and breadth of love’s business

When we are all children, its intensity rules all

And the very next heart beat after we first feel it, the fear of losing it ignites

It stays there throughout school

Then there’s all this imperfection and pain in the world

And the only thing that fixes it is the very thing that causes it

Love is the only perfect gift on the planet

But if we give and receive it from a damaged source, it becomes pain filled and painful, blocked, cruel, lost, mis-directed, overwhelming, mis-understood…

At worst, it dresses up as abuse – mental, physical, sexual or spiritual

When 2 people fall in love, it envelopes your insides, causing joy, ecstasy, warmth, addiction, desire, longing, kindness, insanity, inspiration, hope, happiness, thoughfulness

When the bond is damaged it dresses as mistrust, revenge, power, confusion, patience, truth and lies

When illness threatens to break its bond it dresses to fit – as care, dedication, forgiveness, pain, hurt, even what feels like hatred, loyalty, compromise, explanations, ’emotionally charged right up’ love, fear, too much, too little, perception spectacles of many different colours Read the rest of this entry

Advertisements

Social Status, Success and Happiness – Love like a Lioness

Status

When I was little, my Mum told me over and over that all she ever wanted me to be – was happy

I went through a phase of wishing that instead, she had told me she wanted me to chase my dreams.

Then I learnt some lessons, gained some knowledge, and experienced an awakening inside me…of ‘God’ and of ‘Spirituality’. It produced a feeling so far past perfection, there are no words to describe it, no words to do justice to the moment, no route out of it, or away from it. I sobbed tears of pure joy…This moment alone, made me what I am, and made my life somehow, already complete

If I go back a bit in time; I spent some years in the rat race, until illness took me out of it; and before I felt that feeling, I was struggling to keep up with the rest of the world, failing miserably and marching towards finishing my degree and getting a ‘good job’. Thinking I’d be happy if I could just get those 2 things ‘sorted’.

But; back to that feeling…It was love, unity, peace and maybe just maybe, it was a brief moment spent in the spandangly wonder that is the ‘One-ness’. For that moment, the upper level of the experience was perfection in its purest form…and the under current was a safe and warm message that ‘everything is OK’ Read the rest of this entry

Too Deep, Too Fast…The Veil is Lifted Too Late…The Past!

Status

Somehow…Someone has removed the back light from the scenery of that ‘time’

I choke at the thought of cutting you so deep

I wish I’d had the skills to deal with our explosions and your complexity; I wish I’d known then how to care for you in the way you needed and deserved, and to diffuse the sparks that our temperaments often ignited when we collided!

My instant reaction to all this, is one of intense hope and brewing shame

Regret washes through me, yet it doesn’t rinse me as it should, but drowns me instead…by intensifying and lengthening the flashbacks. The editing of our show has been re-worked…new scenes that barely registered now wipe me sideways, the depth of passion and crazy confusion is just so ‘visible’ all of a sudden Read the rest of this entry

You are…

Video

You are the only one who makes me want to go back in time

You are the one who made our life a fairytale

You are the one I feared losing most

You are the one who came at the worst possible time

You are the one who deserved every single thing I ever gave to anyone else

You are the one I cannot remember without trying to forget how much I loved you Read the rest of this entry

Love Gloved in Hope

Standard

...Hope...

…Hope…

Your gone but not forgotten

Hope holds your face in my mind

Hope prevents your presence from fading, long past the day you faded from me

Hope loses itself in the ecstasy of the songs of hope

Hope imprisons my heart in your hopeless hands

Hope straps itself to my recovery and drags me under again

Then just when I am about to drown…

Hope saves my life and I float to the surface again Read the rest of this entry

Inexperienced Experts Piss Me Off!

Standard

There is nothing more irritating in life than the people who claim to be experts on an issue that they have no experience of

A bit like people who write entire books on parenting when they’ve never actually cared for a child for more than a day…They tend to take a ‘preachy’ view on issues, and feel they are superior for knowing what really makes a good parent, when in reality, they’d fold up and over if they were left alone with 3 kids for more than an hour

I’ve met a few people who ‘preach’ about true love, when they’ve never really cared for a partner properly, let alone loved them

Unconditional love is without doubt a beautiful process, the kinda love we have for our siblings or our friends…Time, distance, change, rejection, location all interfere with this kinda love, but if it’s unconditional it never leaves, we forgive and still love because we have no control over taking it away

Being in love though, whether we like it or not… it is different. We start out in a blaze of glory and before long, we begin to behave like idiots because we’re often in a bit of an emotional pickle when we fall IN love

It’s not perfect, or god like, and it doesn’t feel the same when time, distance, change, rejection and location interfere with what once felt like perfection Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 30 – Big and Small

Image

Big is BIG by nature, so she did everything she could to source a giant canvas and an oversized pad, and she filled them with everything she could – A 33rd of her pie

Small is MASSIVE by nature, but when she thought small was small, medium and large, she did them MASSIVE anyway – A 32th (tooth) of 32’s

Word  Count – 59

Short Number 29 (I can’t count) Fred and Vera

Video

They had been married for 50 years

They were cute to watch

I asked them what their secret was

Vera said – We agreed that we were forever, so all the obstacles became problems to solve, instead of reasons to part

Fred said – I couldn’t live without her love, she is my fuel

Word Count – 51

Judgy Wudgy Pants/ Dear Oh Law Dawny, never small scale!

Standard

I have a little bit of ‘tude… and a selection of feelings/emotions and reactions, feeding the general mood and conclusions of this spillage!

Pretty sure you won’t make it to the end. Note to self – OH MY GOD I bloody love my pretty page, and an idea for new wallpaper is firmly sorted!

Back to a rather long-winded moan/analysis/poke around/thanks/oh balls/less judgy wudgy hypocrisy, in my CD-rom soul.

All delivered through my strange eyes, stranger life happenings, and the humble yet positively trappy opinions I own as of now

In short, me spilling AGAIN! 🙂

Firstly, as I traipsed onto my page after a short break, I just had to chuckle at the utter mental-ness of my entries of late, which was induced by a number of rather shocking changes to my identity. As one of my dear friends summed up as good reason for my shifting perception – I am maliable. I would have to say on a short note Read the rest of this entry

I’m out of the running…No More God Lives Here

Image

I dis-own myself as a creation of GOD

I know who I have always been, and what I have become over the years, I know what I have said and done, what I regret and why I regret it

I’m tired and because I finally love myself the same amount as I love everyone else, I choose not to fly the flag, and to stay as the un-known unseen thing called it

I know that the force I speak of, will always exist, but I am never ever ever ever coming back to this earth, I tried, Looks like I failed, but words mean nothing and everything, until all and one knows itself but doesn’t know why it does

Good Luck to ALL the Complex Gods in the Running

I myself, me like, just want out of this crappy unequal world as I see it, and I can’t see it as anyone else because I am me.

But I AM proud of me, what I have achieved before I ran out of strength, and as I dis-own the words and the deeds in font, I will just tell you that I am just like everyone else, imperfect, growing, hurting, shrinking and loving, unconditionally

Except I caught up with the force of love just in time to save myself from your games.

9 times you have used me, now you’ve got the best of me, come come on and take the rest of me.

100% = 102%, 99% for life as we know it, and 2 of the 3% are fake, I can do nothing more to convince you of my truths, so I’m done

Laters and may the force be with you…it always will be but I will not feel the pain of this life for nothing anymore

If announcing myself as letting you go, brings you the freedom you so desire, then maybe I was never meant to be here in the first place

I am love if love is GOD, but I can dis-own all the words and this soul, in order to save myself. And I am never ever ever ever ever coming back, which i’m sure will make your day. And it sure does make mine

I’m pig sick of the lot of ya right at this minute, there is no telling those who a) Can’t be told, and b) Don’t give a shit until further notice

Should any of you wish to know GOD as LOVE, and the creator, you can come and read these words, and KNOW they will always be true and were always true, love is here for you allways and forever, and I as a soul, choose never to march on this crappy earth again

Enjoy your games you sick sick people, I have put out a full on prayer that you will come back to yourself soon, very soon

I stil wish I could be given a chance to change the world, but not as me, this ego has flown the nest forever

I no longer wish or fame for me ONE IOTA

A tip – you might wanna stick a pound on the appendix, dizzy spells and goosebumps and a few nights where I got the ump and removed the sunshine for real, just to prove a point.

Now forget it all please and thank-you. Just know that one of your gods, is being as near to the devil as possible, with block aids, and borders on nations

Business is LOVE’s business, I shall stay where I chose to stay weeks ago, in the sea as a dolphin with the other 2 that I prevented in my dreams, still loved both of them though, believe it or not

Tooodles

Hope, Faith and Glory

Remember, I’m just little old me, but the forve will keep you all safe whereever I land, and it will stay that way until the end of time, LOVE will never leave you, but in order to get justice for us all, I’ve laid some GREAT plans, and I hope you topple your leaders, with song and dance. I have my OWN reasons for dis-owning myself in words, and that is to give myself true justice and the rest you will see when you are ready, unless free will and patience met in the middle

Heres hoping that the too good to be true comes true and that you forget it all but for some reason, know what you need to

FORGET it all, tip on the appendix and dizzyness

Love Littlebeut333 – A very clever pussy cat

I promise I WILL wait for everyone, unless I must compromise ONE soul, (My other half) If HE swears to marry me forever ONLY, other than that, back to the future we ALL GO!!

Standard

I get it, where you all are and what fun you are having

I get that as a human (by origin), it is normally at a persons lowest point that they seek help, any help, in desperation and mass sadness – my next door neighbour guided me to a book and it saved my life and yours, we are adored intrinsically in this heaven…

It just said, I fooooooking love you Dawny, I can’t do anything but love you, no matter what you have been and think you have been, neither can I unlove your creations, because we needed them for the backdrop of heaven and earth. I cannot scold you for making a choice, when there was only ever one of two to make, to take, from the world I created, but hey, what a fucking epic test run and selection of movies to chuckle together at for REAL…movies of excitement, theres only MORE of that in my gaff, and your gaff ere on earth. Here is the ONLY place you will actually be able to wake up for the FIRST time, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE ay? For old times sake 😉 Become who you really are, and love will drop the damn – WE WILL together, as the sum of all parts. And I have good news, because love couldn’t actually be anything but spandangly whilst testing in experience, it made a very realsitic dreams and nightmares world. We made it together, so why all these miles? It takes time I know, and I’m a patient little treasure

Oh and to the man of my dreams, you’re gonna have to tell me the secrets in good time about our next step, and leave us poor humanites to heaven inside and out, same mirror image, same age, same imperfect bunch of peeps with the greatest gift on earth in their possession, adoration, un-doable adoration, come on my little toe paleeeease?

Whilst I wasn’t looking, you went through the entire alphabet, cloning, honing and perfecting energy, en as you called it, and zen as it now stands, indestructable Read the rest of this entry

Ten Line Tooty’s – Number 2 – Hippies Know! That’s why I popped mine right out of it’s socket with overuse!

Video

I made up a little game some time ago to fill the gap between one drama and another, the rules are/were

1. Choose 10 sentences from your last 10 posts, in order, latest post comes first

2. Make a coherent story from them with as few fill lines as possible

3. Highlight the sentences in a lovely colour (I recommend red but you go ahead and pick your colour, free will is a marvel)

No-one wanted to play with me last time, so again, I ask really politely – Fucking join in thank-you palllleeeease you wonderful little mo-fo’s 😉

A spooky week indeed – The Title – Call me Barry Manilow

Fear or Love? was the question. I choose to love wonder in the guise, the midst, and the disguise of shite, for all the aquariums of ze whole world

I would say, in my infinite wisdom, catch up with this attitude paaaalease, if you haven’t yet I say with my limited patience Read the rest of this entry

Amy Winehouse drunk in ‘St Lucia’ – An alternative take

Standard

Singer Amy Winehouse

Another highly controversial Amy clip – The St Lucia Jazz Festival

‘Amy and her solid gold dance moves’

Of all the people who wishes she hadn’t drunk so much, I’ve gotta be up there with the top ten percent, surely?

I even understand the Elvis loving fruit bats of the world now, due to my Amy adoration levels. My loyalty forces me to state – I am not mocking Amy here, or making light of her drinking. I am celebrating her for what she was…bloody hilarious on and off stage. Sober, pissed or high as a kite.

And I feel no shame at all, saying she used to have me in stitches, in all her varying states…

Except Serbia

What sickens me is the number of people who have uploaded and watched her final gig there. She was so scared you can see her actually cuddling herself, and physically reaching out with her tiny little arms, for hugs from her band…hugs from her friends.

It is clear to me that she was seriously mentally unwell, and not just intoxicated. But; in true media fashion, they didn’t bother promoting the clip of her 5 minutes before…when she wasn’t showing any signs of being drunk (just falling apart mentally!) Before the drink hit her system that night, she was terrified and it leaks out of her in that clip…once was too much for me.

And now she’s dead.

And all the funny clips of her a little worse for wear, are a lot further down the list on YouTube, because dozens and dozens of people have uploaded (and are still watching) that abomination!

Anyway, enough ranting 😉

Back to – ‘Amy and Dawny’s fluffy stuff collection’ Read the rest of this entry

Littlebeut333 wants to ‘Change The World’…Ohhhh yes she does! ;)

Standard

Advice fit for the Butt-hole? Or the Bee’s Knees of The Ball?

invocation 22, channel 7, deal 4, trick J; con...    I was going to write a short description about my views on changing the world…However, I know how quickly we humans dismiss opinion if it doesn’t fit with our own ideology and experiences… So I will just tell you some things about me, that I think may sway you into thinking I might have a point or two.

I am a 12-year-old pensioner. I vote Conservative, Green’s, Labour and BNP. I’m an Asian, White, Greek, Aborigine bar working prostitute, and also a director at British Telecom. In the evenings I read ‘The Times’ and I watch porn. I love the Dalai Lama, but also Jeremy Kyle and buying shares. I’m upper class, middle class, under class scum. I grew up in a palace with its own moat, situated on the back of a council housing estate; and I practice a mixture of Buddhism, Bettyism, and hard-core Eugenics. I don’t drink or smoke, and I only take crack on Tuesdays. I love champagne, especially when accompanied by Sainsbury’s basics’s tuna in brine. I’m a man, woman, trans-gender, bi sexual, straight geezer bird. I love grey parrots and baby baboons, but I campaign for the culling of all other wildlife in the name of commerce. I empty my chip pan fat down the sink.

(are you all covered and IN with me yet?) ;)

OK, now I’ve got your attention, I’ll tell you that I have been called ‘A wise old soul’ more than 3 times in my life! Read the rest of this entry

“If your partner is ‘Crazy’, run for the hills” (The World, 2012) … How Rude!

Standard

Cover of "Crazy People"

That would be everyone then?

I decided to do a little bit of research into my love life a few weeks ago

And I typed ‘why am I attracted to crazy people’ into Google. (Please note, I wasn’t presuming I am remotely sane when I typed it…So it was more a ‘2 way’ research jobby ;))

Anyhoo, by the time I’d reached the bottom of page 2, I was a broken woman!

Firstly, it would seem that only women are deemed nutters, as every bleeding article for 2 pages was about crazy women…I’ve met my fair share of nutters and around half were male! As you might expect

Second…There was advice from a whole range of people – laymen, the experienced and broken hearted. The young, the old, and the professional experts…they all had something to say

The advice varied enormously, but the final thoughts added up to the same thing EVERY SINGLE TIME…

‘If your partners crazy run for the hills!’ (Summarised)

If you replaced crazy with ‘black’ or ‘wheelchair bound’, there would be 68 petitions banning the article… directly underneath it

But ohhhh no, not for the crazy people, leave them to rot ay? Even psychologists are throwing out this advice

Such empathy and warmth? Read the rest of this entry

Finally, I cried…Not for me; not for us; but for you…

Standard

End in Tears

I finally cried for you

Don’t misunderstand me; I’ve cried for us before… I cried buckets; and I’ve cried for me…but until that night, I didn’t really see how it was for you.

An innocent song led to a not so innocent song… and it was as though someone had knocked down a gargantuan damn, and the memories of you just drowned me

If I knew where you lived or where you were sleeping right then, I’d have got in the car and knocked your door down, just so I could hold you and tell you how sorry I was

How sorry I am

I didn’t think there were any feelings left. I say your name a lot still, but I had no idea all this weight was hiding inside, along with your name

In my head… I re-played one of the songs I wrote for you and every sweet thing that resides in your soul, came back for me all at once.

When you came into my life, I was broken and I wasn’t ready for you. I was so far off of ready I couldn’t see straight. But I also couldn’t fight it, I was obsessed with you and until a few weeks ago, I’d totally wiped that from my memory.

How, I don’t know Read the rest of this entry

‘Amy and The Mice’ – An Alternative Take

Standard

English: Baby mice about a day old

Of all the Amy Winehouse footage to cause a wave of disapproval, this video sits up there with best of them

In order to see the beauty that I see in this scene, you must first remove the judgements you already have about Crack and its use (although it is worth noting that Crack is probably the most likely drug to cause aggression). If you can’t remove your judgements; try swopping the word crack for wine (which also causes aggressive outbursts)

And re-classify her status more loosely; as a little bit ‘worse for wear’ (legally of course)

Then check out the video Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty on drugs – YouTube.

Or read the manuscript below, complete with stage cues and action descriptions

What I see is : – heart, endless wit, depth of passion, fun, boundless amounts of life, imagination, creativity, laughter, beauty, friendship, a unique and highly sweet soul, the interaction of two friends, love, vulnerability, fascination, curiosity, loyalty, care and protection…This is what I see, black fingers or no black fingers. Can you?

(Amy is in green, Pete in orange, Both together in red)

Amy collects a box of baby mice from the back of the room Read the rest of this entry

You will remember; Until you learn to Forget…and then you will remember

Standard

Brain scanning technology is quickly approachi...HeartEnglish: Holistic health, body, mind, heart, soul

Soul Versus Mind Versus Heart – Rounds 1, 2, 3 and 4

When you try

When you really try

It is simply astounding, the amount we CAN CHOOSE to forget (mind wins)

But one day; one day; life will catch your professional soul off guard (soul wins…the soul does not forget; what the heart and mind try to filter out)

So; you will remember Read the rest of this entry

Ripping Innocent Daisies to Shreds!

Standard

English: This is the real Petal. All the other...

Girls, do you think I'm in there or what?

Little girls play this game;

They played it when I was tiny; I played it when I was tiny; and they still play it now…

They pick a flower from the ground, and one after the other; they pull off every petal

Each time they tear away a pretty petal, from its life force…

They say the words

He loves me!?…

He loves me not!?

He loves me!?…

He loves me not!?

 

Personally, I think this game speaks volumes about how girls and boys view love.

(Alert – Huge sweeping generalisation or two, on the way) Read the rest of this entry