Category Archives: Random

Medicated Memories…I’m Everything Without Contents!

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I’m angry without the anger

I care with flatlined clichéd pity

Without others I could slip by, abandoned

What is a soul without memories

***

In solace I know I’ve been stolen

Repressing all that makes me

Pushing away my spirited version of chatter

Sitting firmly on top of rusty springs

Bearing heavy….Heavy on the heart

*** Read the rest of this entry

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Don’t Worry…I’ll Google It! (Pet Peeeev’s)

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phoneMy ‘pet peeeev’ of the year so far has gotta be that bloody phrase we so often hear nowadays

“I’ll google it”

And that’s it for the next 20 minutes …you can kiss goodbye to any old school methods of communication (talking); whilst whoever has a smart phone insists that you snuggle into each others personal space to share the 3 inch screen, all for some crappy and very miniature video or webpage that proclaims to know the answer to everything

Not to mention the meandering onto the other phrase

“Just wait for it to load, it’s hilarious/clever/entertaining”

I really don’t like smart phones…They facilitate rudeness and increase irritation in living rooms all over the land

That is all for now…

If I was a Car!

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I would be too big at the backcar

I would have inconsistent and inexplicable oil needs

Prone to breakdowns during short haul journeys

My battery would be flat often, for no fathomable reason

Every MOT would be filled with never before seen malfunctions

I would accelerate prematurely (formula one styleeee) with ba mere tap on the gas pedal Read the rest of this entry

From Rock, To Wi-Fi, To Heat Waves, Voiles and Snoring! OR A Selection of Bilge :)

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Christ Alive! And Seriouslybricks 4 ;/

I know that walls aren’t what they once were

As in; they used to be a foot thick…

Which was dandy!

However, these big old walls could have changed the future forever (See broken woman to the right)

bricks 5

Nowadays, they are in competition with walls as thick as ice cream wafers…disguised as brick

brick 2

Soon, the new housing estates will look like they are situated in the centre of a desert in the Middle East (peak of summer). The strange swirling mist that comes from heat waves, will distort the walls and the owners will put it down to the 45 degree heat…

Until…

Winter arrives; the dwellers become alarmed to see the walls still slopping around, with no heat swirls in sight, and many neighbours buying posh nets from the stall in the street

Because ‘Apparently they keep the heat in’bricks 6

Seriously, I can hear the man snoring loud as a bleeding train, and he lives in a whole ‘nother house!!!!!!!!

At least it was only 169 words of tripe

God and ‘Boots the Chemist’ are making me a better person! Together :)

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I went insane recently on a level previously unseen by most of mankind, many 3000 word posts can be found in my archives that reflect my utterly doo-la-lee state of mind, should you be interested.

During this period, in an attempt to regain my sanity… I read several books, one of which was called ‘Conversations with God’ and there was a sentence in there which made me realise that it’s never too late to change, little by little, if you want to

I can’t remember his exact words but the basic gist was this…

‘Decide to do better, and get on with it’

I loved it! It may seem an obvious route to being a more evolved person, but there was something about the words that highlighted the simplicity of changing your ways…

Then I remembered a phrase from a Boots campaign – ‘Change one thing at a time’

Then I looked outside at my ‘Vote Green Party’ poster, proudly blue tacked to my wall, and I decided my thing to change that day was to stop using 50 carrier bags every time I go shopping. Read the rest of this entry

Where would we be without memories of our own ‘Special Biddies?’

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Nan

When me and my siblings were little; we had a ‘Nanny Green Door and a Nanny Black Door’ (This memory of how we categorised our two Nan’s, warms the cockles of my ‘eart).

Nanny Black door was my idol (minus her alcohol consumption levels).

She was a lush, and a really funny sweet one at that. She drank Holsten Pils lager ‘cos according to Nanny Black Door…“you can drink that if you’re a diabetic, ‘cos all the sugar’s already turned to alcohol” 😉

She was mostly tipsy when we visited, and she never recognised us when we knocked at her door! Which was always a bit odd, but also really funny to all 3 of us.

When we divulged our identity, she used to say the same thing every time, over her shoulder in Bob’s direction (Bob was her 387th ‘live in lover’ 😉 I joke…Bob was maybe my 7th step granddad type figure) … I was blessed in this area, with abundance 😉

Right after we said “Nan, It’s us, Leigh, Theresa and Dawn

She would say

“Ohhhhh Bob, ain’t they grown” and then she called us all Leigh for the remainder of the visit (crazy old coot)  ;0 Read the rest of this entry

Eugenics without murder = Ladette to Lady

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Rosemary is a chef, food enthusiast and TV per...

For any of you that are not aware of this delightful television program – The general gist is to improve the behaviour of a selection of ‘out of control girls’; via methods that were used in the finishing schools of the 19th century.

Please note the main goal for the girls participating in this program, is to become a clone of Rosemary Shrager.

During their stay at the mansion of change, they are taught how to dress; how to speak; how to laugh; when to laugh; how to cook; how to sew buttons onto shirts; how to arrange flowers… and how to not get your boobies out in public.

This television programme (although mildly entertaining) is like a giant kick in the teeth to every suffragette. And to all the women who burnt their bras, and tied themselves to gates and fences in order to secure the female vote.

I believe there is mass grave turning happening every Thursday evening from 8 ‘til 9pm

For me, this program is nothing more than a training package to become – A successful candidate for the Stepford wives club Read the rest of this entry

Take everything, Just leave the SHOES… for Betty’s Sake!

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Working slap bang in the middle of the city centre is depleting my tiny savings pot, at a ‘rapido’ rate

Why?

Shoes Shoes Shoes

I am obsessed, I have just purchased the cutest pair of shoes I think I’ve ever seen. Check ’em out, they’re called Gracie incase you wanna talk to them.

They remind me of Minnie Mouse and those black and white checked dresses from the 60’s

I’d go as far as to say they are orgasmic!

The trouble is, when I buy a pair of NEW SHOES 🙂 I wear them around the house, normally with my tracky bottoms or pyjamas; and I like to do this for at least 2 weeks after purchasing them

However, I have bought 4 pairs in the last 2 weeks (I have no self-control at the mo)…and I don’t know which one’s to gush over first

Ohhhhhh the problems!!!

All is well now (you can stop worrying ;))…I’m back, I’ve lined them all up in the lounge in front of me and I’m ‘twizling’ my foot, not just any foot, my foot.. Read the rest of this entry

Why use words, if you can ‘Ram Raid’ instead?

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What is the world coming to?

Last night, I was having a little session with Amy and my stereo for about half an hour, I’ll grant you it wasn’t on the quietest volume; but it wasn’t excessively loud! AND I respect the 11pm rule of silence… even though I live at opposite ends of the time continuum to the rest of the world, and screaming children at 7am; and arguments about who is gonna do the milk trip, are just as destructive to my sleep patterns, as music is past 11pm, for the normal people

It was approximately 7pm when a mini earthquake struck my lounge!

Being as I’m psychotic at the moment, it wasn’t the best phenomena for me to ponder over…I seriously thought I had morphed into a whole new land of new insanity, when everything began shaking. NOTE – I turned the music down immediately to investigate the drama

I have a little cupboard directly behind my TV stand which houses my electricity and gas meters. The newish neighbours next door who are too rude to say hello, began smashing some kind of heavy weapon against their side of my cupboard. I’m not sure what their weapon was but the door on the cupboard was forcing its way into the room, and pushing my television off the stand inch by inch with every blow. The glass shelf under the TV fell down, DVDs flew in every direction…and THEN a fucking great lump of concrete FLEW outta the cupboard and landed on my GLASS TV stand! Read the rest of this entry

Ten Line Tootys! Come play in ze hay ;) Writing Challenge 4 (2012)

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English: 'Art is Crap' - 35 x 60cm - digital p...

How Rude! 🙂

I’ve made up a game; as I’m 33 years old I’m gonna call it a writing challenge

Please come and play with me; word-pressers of the world

The Rules to each TEN LINE TOOTY

  1. Choose ten random sentences, from your last ten posts (1 from each)
  2. Put them together in date order (newest at the top) and then you have to make a coherent story out of them, with as few fill words as possible!
  3. Highlight the random sentences in your post

I will be the marker…I’m a very nice marker 😉 (I joke)

Play play yay?

Here’s my first shot at a TEN LINE TOOTY! (I’ll stick these on my Dawny’s mini seriessss page when I’ve stopped wallowing in mental health pity!)

The Start

The Third Meeting for NHS Service Users and Healthcare Professionals

The Agenda

1)      The discussion of the new ‘anti loon’ pills trial

2)      The current side effects of arthritic medication

3)      The Art donations for the month

Persons Present – Dr Hall, Dr Pratrowski (assisting Dr Hall). Services Users Annie; Brenda; Sarah; Amy; and Harry Read the rest of this entry

‘Psychosis is a necessity; for the emotional development of certain people’?(Moi, 2012)

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Love, Life and Feelings

I think it would be a fair generalisation to say that : – People who suffer from periods of psychosis, tend to be thinkers. Not just in bouts of insanity; but all the time…

I’ve just mind meandered onto this odd theory/definition of psychosis…

‘Psychosis is a necessity; for the emotional development of certain people’ 😉 (Moi, 2012)

Thinkers can fall into the trap of over thinking and under feeling. If you’re a thinker, you’re likely a problem solver… and before you know it, you’ve totally lost touch with your feelings because you’ve rationalised the shit out of; not feeling anything

But when delusions loom, in my experience…they are always intrinsically linked to 3 things

Fear/Terror

Shame

Pain

For me at least, these 3 categories cover everything that I choose not to dwell on as a thinker. Everything I don’t want to feel sits under these umbrellas… Read the rest of this entry

‘Amy and The Mice’ – An Alternative Take

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English: Baby mice about a day old

Of all the Amy Winehouse footage to cause a wave of disapproval, this video sits up there with best of them

In order to see the beauty that I see in this scene, you must first remove the judgements you already have about Crack and its use (although it is worth noting that Crack is probably the most likely drug to cause aggression). If you can’t remove your judgements; try swopping the word crack for wine (which also causes aggressive outbursts)

And re-classify her status more loosely; as a little bit ‘worse for wear’ (legally of course)

Then check out the video Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty on drugs – YouTube.

Or read the manuscript below, complete with stage cues and action descriptions

What I see is : – heart, endless wit, depth of passion, fun, boundless amounts of life, imagination, creativity, laughter, beauty, friendship, a unique and highly sweet soul, the interaction of two friends, love, vulnerability, fascination, curiosity, loyalty, care and protection…This is what I see, black fingers or no black fingers. Can you?

(Amy is in green, Pete in orange, Both together in red)

Amy collects a box of baby mice from the back of the room Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 12 – The Exception to the Rule of Gift Exchanges

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“I know I said you should always accept gifts graciously darling”

“Yes yes, I know I said you should keep them too”

“But there’s always one; one exception to the rule”

“Always”

“Please Mum…Pleeeease”

“Darling, it doesn’t go with the wallpaper, sorry”

Français : bonbons colorés English: colored sweets

“Would you like some sweeties instead my little cherub?”

(51 words)

If you can’t get a life; At least reach for some thoughts…you ‘Bitter Buggers!’ ;)

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Revenge of the Zombies

Evolve people PLEASE! For Betty's Sake!

As a rule, I’m not a judgy person

I have an ability to see two sides of most situations; so when I see someone behaving like a twat, I can normally find some inner mercy for their idiot views/behaviours. Cos we’re all the way we are; because of where we’ve been and what happened when we got there!

However

My blind spot lies in my upbringing in Jolly Old Leytonstone. For all the many cultures I lived amongst, for all the differences I’ve bounced between, there was a steady message that permeated the lot in sunny East London, back in the day…

You DO NOT grass!

And you certainly DO NOT grass to the powers that be…

Unfortunately this little lesson didn’t reach 120 miles down the road

TRAGIC, in the eyes of Dawny…

During the last hose pipe ban in Norfolk, 35,000 people made the effort to sign onto the web, type in ‘Grass hotline number for Anglian Sewerage Co please’…and then they paid 20p to grass their next door neighbour up, for washing their car!

WTF??? Do any of you even know who has a hose pipe or an outside tap in your street? Read the rest of this entry

Osmosis Psychosis! Here again… But how did I get here; and when exactly did I arrive?

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Reality

‘Osmosis Psychosis’

This is the definition of osmosis : – The gradual, often unconscious, absorption of knowledge or ideas through continual exposure rather than deliberate learning

How bizarre that I didn’t know what it meant until today; but the phrase ‘osmosis psychosis’ has been playing in my head; in notes A and C respectively…for hours.

It is so bizarre being in this state. It’s not like the movies, I’m fully here; but I don’t see the same things as you do here. I’m not talking about visions and colours and dragons upon the walls

I’m talking a shift in perception to the reality we share

And then there are other realities; they vary in number and severity and mood each time. This time there are 4 others

injections [616]

They involve the flu jab for staff who are in on the plan; some kind of connection to the injection of cancer into patients through the innocuous guise of a necessary injection Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 10 – The Student got a… ‘Ology’!… Really? How un-apt! ;)

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English: LCF short course business student

4,724th Essay

Caressed in a Fortress

Obsessed, Suppressed, Distressed, Blessed, Depressed

Confessed…

Stressed, Countless, Boundless, Fearless, Princess

3 years on, she was…An essayed out mess

At the end

They said she got a something… ‘ology’!; I think

Psy? or Bi?… I think

I thought she clearly deserved an ‘essed’!

Minimum

Just my opinion…;)

(50 words)

You will remember; Until you learn to Forget…and then you will remember

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Brain scanning technology is quickly approachi...HeartEnglish: Holistic health, body, mind, heart, soul

Soul Versus Mind Versus Heart – Rounds 1, 2, 3 and 4

When you try

When you really try

It is simply astounding, the amount we CAN CHOOSE to forget (mind wins)

But one day; one day; life will catch your professional soul off guard (soul wins…the soul does not forget; what the heart and mind try to filter out)

So; you will remember Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 9 (I think)…Catch me if meow can!

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A house cat named Milky meows when get caught ...

Catch me if meow can Mother Fucker!

The predator came again (yawn)

The Hunter, The Stalker, The Trier, The God of the Web Pilferer’s…The Leader of the Western Plates

The Wilder-Peast!!!

But; where oh where was the prize?

“She’s a quick as a fucking cat that one”

Overhearing the Peast, she meow’d with delight and ran…

“Catch me if meow can”

She Sang!

(55 words)

Necessary and tragic public note to self (Bilge Alert)

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La nueva Isobel

Dawny…

You have been typing bilge on your blog for 5 days now! 5 days!!!

You have been awake for too long, even by your standards

Life is not all about Indulgence, you have new responsibilities this year and you must step up. You are doing all work forms TODAY! TUESDAY!

Get off of Word Press until at least Friday morning

Go to the website your meant to be on all day, follow the links to the unseen activities and do some fooooooooking research into the coronary heart disease in Norfolk, or else you WLL FAIL the module.

Go to bed soon, you have 2 workmen coming into your world for 8 hours a day, for 5 long days. This makes you slightly insaner than normal; and you must prepare for the extra insanity by turning off this monitor!

You don’t know where the tea bags are, or the cat biscuits… and you need to find them both before 7am, and you need to take the 467 empty champagne bottles to the bottle bank before Mum gets here

You have a cold and no will power, and you need to go to the drop in centre for another asthma pump and some anti-biotics, before you get a bronchial infection and craps on the lungs, for the 3rd time in 3 months

Get a Grip…Go…Post this as a threat to yourself; and a continual reminder of your required abstinence here UNTIL Friday; and then shut me down!

And yourself!

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Now!

Farewell Bloggus-sphere…at least untill my will power cracks