Ohhhhh sweet sweet 33!
[Invisible Logic + Betty x The Universe + (Strange Lady – time) + 33 = Joy!]
WARNING – Lengthy essay of utter bilge below
I don’t bloody believe it!
But I do!
Aside from the fact that my belief system has no logical or empirical basis, it makes a lot of sense.
The Seeds Were Sewn
All my life I’ve had an obsession with the number 3
The first thing I remember noticing about it was the shape; I still think it’s really quite pretty.
I was born on the 3rd of the month, which I’m sure affected my subconscious around this number; and then one of my all-time favourite childhood songs was released, and it re-enforced my obsession by noting all the wonderful things about ‘3’.
The song was… ‘3 is the magic number’, by De La Soul. If you listen to the lyrics of this gem, I think you will see that 3 is marvellous; not just for me, but for the entire world!
3-wheelers! Dogs with 3 legs! Tables with 3 legs… need I go on? Read the rest of this entry
A Natural Human Disaster
You are the pin that pops pretty balloons
You are the fist that takes the wind right out of my sails
You are a thief
You are the friend that no-body wants, the friend who whispers in your ear that things are really that bad
You burgle houses in the worst and most destructive way going
Your middle name is Twister
I don’t like you and I tell you this whenever I find you in my home, but still you keep coming.
You are everything in the field of viruses and disease
You eat away at the flesh of the internal Read the rest of this entry
Reg and his sweaty roll up; are waiting for youuuuuu!!!
However many items come through the letterbox today, they all count as cards, so DO tell your friends you got 2-7 cards. (With today’s junk mail levels, you’re pretty much guaranteed 2, minimum)
DO NOT shave your legs and if possible, you will have abstained from shaving for long enough to tong your leg hairs into beautiful ringlets!
DO eat something enormously calorific, I’m gonna slam an Indian for 2 whole people, right down me.
DO fondly remember all the past Valentines that you spent with your ex’s, with a symbolic flick of the V’s!
DO spend at least £23 on yourself today; because if you were one of the unlucky few that left it until 6pm on the 13th to buy your other half a card, that is how much you would have paid for said card in Clinton’s!!! (Daylight bastard robbery)
Send everyone you love a text, your mum, smelly grand-dads, best friends, your great uncle twice removed if you’re struggling for contacts (they won’t reply cos they are having sex, but you will have to take note of the abundance of love you have in your life) Read the rest of this entry
Ignorance is bliss but…
Ignorance is subjective
Ignorance is dangerous
Intellect is a blessing
Intellect is profound sadness
Intellect is a vehicle
Naivety is peace
Naivety is lacking
Naivety is vulnerable
Read the rest of this entry
In response to the request from the author of this marvellous piece…’My Ten Commandments’ ( visit novembrepleut.worpress.com for a read ). Here is my far crappier version of the new age ‘Ten Commandments’ Dawny Styleeeeee…
Up for a new testament anyone?
1 – Thou shalt notice the free and limitless pleasure that comes with needing to eat to survive, every time thou puts something delightful in thou mouth
2 – Thou shalt learn everything thy/thou can, about everything thy’s need to, and thou shalt keep learning or face the wrath of the disciple, ‘Ignoramus Monstrosotus’
3 – Thou shalt be nice, no acting like your nice and being a little beast on the quiet, thy queen of crappy blogging will know, and she is worse than the disciple ‘Ignoramus Monstrosotus’
4 – Thou shalt love thy family and friends, even if thou relatives are bilious and thy friends are blindingly boring
(I know not what I am doing with theses thou’s and thy’s, as you may have noticed!)
Read the rest of this entry
Of all the people to re-ignite my long-winded fire…
David Pooey Cameron
- Come again Cammy Boy? FAIR???
In reference to capping benefits at X amount of £’s, because there are people at home doing NOTHING (The lady being interviewed would be one of those affected by the new cap and the child benefit reforms, and she is mid way through doing the ‘nothingness’ it takes to rear 5 children; all the things she does to ensure their lives are safe! everyday). Defining this ‘life work’ as NOTHING is perhaps a more fundamental problem for ‘child benefit AND housing benefit’; than the problem of which family to rob first.
It seems Slavery (for parents this era) is back on the ‘forward thinking’ agenda!
He ‘toffed out’ his disgust that a person at home, should never ever be getting the equivalent of a £35k salary, after tax!
Which equates to around £28,000
Which is a lot of money!
(Like Parents, Surgeons are responsible for the safety of multiple humans every day, and I think they get a little more than 35k a year)
Single people who are unemployed people do not get £28,000!
Single people get about £57 a week to live, and pay all bills bar rent.
NOTE the significance of rent in his plans… Read the rest of this entry
I can feel an extreme ‘Amy day’ coming on, please have a listen to these 4 amazing trinkets of orgasmic talent and accept my apologies for the dodgy looking links (they DO work) but I’m a techno moron and it took me like, 3 hours to get this far…
I’ll make up the deficit by finding another fabulous piccy of ze Angel …
Please ENJOY!! You will feel re-spiced, guarantee of the lioness 😉
OK, I’m stopping with the Amy pic scouring now, obsession looms like a cloud of procrastination rocket fuel !
Amy Winehouse & Paul Weller – Don’t Go To Strangers (Hootenanny, 2006) [HQ Audio] – YouTube.
Amy Winehouse – All My Lovin’ – YouTube. – Found this yesterday, it’s just amazing!
Amy Winehouse- What It Is – YouTube. (To any-one who intimately knows of a dear John involving a sleeping party, this one is rather fitting to that fiasco and I’m so glad I stumbled across it yesterday, should ‘John’ come across this at anypoint, I wouldn’t wanna miss the opportunity to point this link out to him!) (Shhhh now Dawny, and well done!)
amy winehouse live on jools holland – YouTube.
Image via Wikipedia
More jolly i’m afraid; from current Mrs Jolly Pants (Moi)…
There is an illness out there called ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ (borderline refers to being on the border of neurosis and psychosis) and the very route of addressing the problems that come with this disorder can only START; AFTER this universally shared trait of the illness is dealt with…
People with BPD; when they feel in danger… with no awareness whatsoever that they are doing it…automatically think the worst first; believe it as truth; and roll with the emotions that ‘the worst’ produces.
An example on a small teeny tiny scale is…I send a text to someone (who I fear may be placing my love for them in danger) and they don’t reply for three hours. My FIRST AUTOMATIC assumption for their silence is either, they hate me, they are dead, they are busy slagging me off, they read my text and thought ‘oh do one you dramatic wench, you irritate me’ etc etc
Now, when you go to therapy, they first tell you that although these assumptions are possible and sometimes correct in life, it is just as possible that they may have had no battery, they fell asleep, they read it when they looked at their phone and text you straight back…
Then you nod and think Bollox 😉 Read the rest of this entry
Can a wildly ‘varying’ capability ever be logically defined as a ‘fixed’ disability?
Perhaps the enabling sometimes turns to the disabling?
Perhaps not…perhaps disabled is the wrong term.
Some days, she is more enabled than many,
Productivity shoots through the roof, when her internal amphetamine switch goes click. She’s on over-drive all day and night, for a week, for two, for months… Read the rest of this entry
Of all the possible titles assigned to people in society, I personally believe the most commendable is the title of ‘Mother’. I respect and admire women who pro-create, far more than I respect judges or doctors or academics or social workers or teachers, or anyone else for that matter. I firmly believe that there is no harder job than that of ‘bringing up’ a whole nother human! I knew from a very young age that I was without doubt, incapable of ever giving so much of myself to another. Yet it seems most mothers; Read the rest of this entry
I spend quite a bit of time thinking about how we humans mis-communicate with each other, with such ease!! ;//. Should you wish to read part 1 of this thought train; I previously drivvvvled on about this subject, in an entry named ‘The Miscommunication of the Human Interaction’… In summary, I covered the problematic multiple […]