I learnt this bit of trivia at school (Oooooo but it’s so not ‘just’ trivia now). For every calendar year that passes, a tree makes a ring of age (distinguishable by its unique colour), and it follows exactly the same year that we adhere to. Each ring represents another year of its life
365 days is what we humans decided to call a year (or so we think) and this is apparently because it takes 365 days for the sun and the earth to do one lap around each other (whichever way round that works ;))
Well well well…I’m sure this scientifically advanced piece of knowledge was not available to us back in the day when a year was ‘invented’
NOw for trippy point 2…This 365 days seems to have stemmed from lunar/solar cycles and must have held some weight for a year to be what it is. A universal scientific measurement of time passed that controls much of our life in terms of measurement (decades, university years, the new tax year, new years resolutions, once a month commitments…all expressions of the year or sections of it)
If we are not all connected, how does a nature driven organism (a tree, fed by the earth, rained on for growth, rooted in the ground, dictated by seasons ) somehow become aware of its passing of time, from 1 year to the next? Read the rest of this entry
What is it about tattoo artists, that seems to make them all soooo bloody moody?
I have 3 tattoo’s and the ink from all 3 was injected by a miserable, awkward, temperamental, mildly spoilt and very un-smily bloke!
They don’t like it when you dare to question their design…God Forbid! (It’s only a commitment on the same time scale of marriage and the ‘snip’, except worse, as no reversal operation that actually works properly is available)…And even though each artist has had no problem telling me that my design was aesthetically shite, they all really did not like to be second guessed on theirs.
Such double standards 😉 Read the rest of this entry
These last 2 weeks, between them, my dearest mates and my utterly fabulous sister have had me cry with laughter and love, soooo many times… through the hilarity and drama we all seem to be continuously steeped in 🙂
We’ve been on roads of discovery, naughty-ness, stress, change, inspiration, not to mention mind opening rants of world-changing, and epic proportions. There have been highs and lows and dramas galore, but more than anything, it has been special, simply because they have all been so present…
It’s been like 2 weeks of ‘Friends Sandals Heaven’
Added to this, I cannot stop watching the utterly inspiring clip of Read the rest of this entry
Anxiety begins to brew, and sometimes it grows to the point where ‘Pam’ is required.
She does the job of Instilling the desired amount of ‘zombification’
But the next day, she gives you a big old ‘Pam-Over’
‘What goes down, must come down’
When Amy died, my other half at the time (who really couldn’t stand her, and thought she sounded like a screaming cat!!!), tried really hard to get on board with the Amy Love, in support of me (bless him). He was very sweet with stuff like that.
(This post is a ‘mini novel’ by necessity; apologies for my long winded gene; but/plus, it’s all highly relevant content)
After days of footage, tears, ‘Dawny stories of Amy love’, footage, tears, shock, footage, footage, ‘Dawny stories, of a plethora of Amy moments’, that are stored in tut my soul. Footage, shock, tears
(Oh and I narrated tooooo, through quite a lot of footage)
He made a profound statement of unbelievable ‘Amy wisdom’…This is how penetrating she was and is; even a complete ‘non fan’ couldn’t fail to see this in her.
In fact Me, Jools Holland and Jay, sat top, middle and bottom, on the fan scale (and yes, I soooo know that I love her more than Joolsy), yet we all were affected MOST by this clip out of THE LOT! Read the rest of this entry
These are some of the items I have found in my handbag, whilst searching for my purse at multiple tills
An ashtray with 7 butts in it, miraculously, it stayed the right way up all the way from my home to the cafe, and the bags contents escaped a messy ‘ashing’
The digi-box remote
The MASSIVE silver TV remote
A thick winter knee length red sparkly sock
The cats box of treats – whiskas temptations chicken and cheese flavour
A food bag with ham in it!
My large bottle/tube of cocoa butter
These are the items that have been missing from my handbag whilst searching for my purse at multiple tills Read the rest of this entry
I’d go as far as to say – my addiction to Word-Press is mini destroying my life 😉
I’ve never been great at controlling my addictions when they’re in full force, however, I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful man/full on hubby called Vine to counter this problem. He enlightened me on the current levels of cleverness in the realm of technology!
Did you know you can get freeeeee software that limits the amount of time you can spend on certain sites? Yes you probably do (I know I’m a bit slow)
My initial reaction was
“Ooooooo No Vine! I’m not very good at being controlled; I can do it on my own”
THEN…after 24 solid hours of being logged on to WP, I called him back to the house of Dawny, swallowed my pride and admitted that I needed the software assistance.
Off he went with his lightning fingers and just 20 minutes later, the full on love affair between DB and WP was over ;(
Now; I have two measly 1 hour slots, and one 20 minute slot per day… and not a second more! Read the rest of this entry
For any of you that are not aware of this delightful television program – The general gist is to improve the behaviour of a selection of ‘out of control girls’; via methods that were used in the finishing schools of the 19th century.
Please note the main goal for the girls participating in this program, is to become a clone of Rosemary Shrager.
During their stay at the mansion of change, they are taught how to dress; how to speak; how to laugh; when to laugh; how to cook; how to sew buttons onto shirts; how to arrange flowers… and how to not get your boobies out in public.
This television programme (although mildly entertaining) is like a giant kick in the teeth to every suffragette. And to all the women who burnt their bras, and tied themselves to gates and fences in order to secure the female vote.
I believe there is mass grave turning happening every Thursday evening from 8 ‘til 9pm
For me, this program is nothing more than a training package to become – A successful candidate for the Stepford wives club Read the rest of this entry
Another highly controversial Amy clip – The St Lucia Jazz Festival
‘Amy and her solid gold dance moves’
Of all the people who wishes she hadn’t drunk so much, I’ve gotta be up there with the top ten percent, surely?
I even understand the Elvis loving fruit bats of the world now, due to my Amy adoration levels. My loyalty forces me to state – I am not mocking Amy here, or making light of her drinking. I am celebrating her for what she was…bloody hilarious on and off stage. Sober, pissed or high as a kite.
And I feel no shame at all, saying she used to have me in stitches, in all her varying states…
What sickens me is the number of people who have uploaded and watched her final gig there. She was so scared you can see her actually cuddling herself, and physically reaching out with her tiny little arms, for hugs from her band…hugs from her friends.
It is clear to me that she was seriously mentally unwell, and not just intoxicated. But; in true media fashion, they didn’t bother promoting the clip of her 5 minutes before…when she wasn’t showing any signs of being drunk (just falling apart mentally!) Before the drink hit her system that night, she was terrified and it leaks out of her in that clip…once was too much for me.
And now she’s dead.
And all the funny clips of her a little worse for wear, are a lot further down the list on YouTube, because dozens and dozens of people have uploaded (and are still watching) that abomination!
Anyway, enough ranting 😉
Back to – ‘Amy and Dawny’s fluffy stuff collection’ Read the rest of this entry
I’d had enough by the 7th day
All I wanted to do was get home; you know how it is when you start to miss home.
I went to my favourite cafe, ignored everyone, and ate exactly the same ingredients as I did in that Spanish cafe
‘I miss you’
I’ve noticed that this phrase, causes strange reactions in people
I blame this reaction on the phenomena known as poxy ‘sub text’
Why do people hear I miss you and think you’re actually saying…You are neglecting me
Why do people hear I miss you and think you’re actually saying…You don’t make time for me anymore
Why do people hear I miss you and think you’re actually saying…We are growing apart
When I say I miss you…It’s because I miss you
And I miss you because I think you’re great; because I love talking to you; because I love that I am lucky enough to be able to call you my friend; because I appreciate your advice; because I love how you make me laugh; because I want to know how you are; because I am blessed to have you in my life…and because you are impossible to forget. Read the rest of this entry
Marriage Equality Conference
Get engaged twice but don’t make it down the aisle. Ideally you will call off one wedding; and at the other, you will be stood up at the altar; or just before you get to the altar.
This way, you learn all you need to about rejection, on both sides of the coin…
Find the location of your heart, and purify it as much as possible
Then you are ready for the grand plan.
- WITHOUT A VICAR present, Marry a friend who would never ever wish to sleep with you and vice versa; so, make sure they have the opposite sexuality to you; or ensure you are at least 8 points away from each other, in the league tables
- Make sure this friend is truly spandangly of heart, and you have a marriage made in heaven that will last forever. You get a best friend, who loves you even when you smell; who will love you when your fat and thin, equally. And you can safely love them with no fear of divorce… like ever, plus, you both still have real marriage as an option in your life; for any new finds.
- Then; spare marry someone else who you find sexually attractive and rather wonderful… but is impenetrable. All lonely broken souls, cannot resist the lure of a spare spouse. Be as spare wonderful as you can, to your spare spouse… and you will have 2 marriages that will last forever
- Make sure the spare candidate lives around 500 miles away; so that you can’t get spare sick of each other, even if you tried 😉 Read the rest of this entry
Perfect moments are things that come once or twice in a decade, they are fleeting and normally unexpected. They mostly come on days where they are least likely to happen, or in moments where they have no explanation. But they are far from forgettable, even when indefinable. They burn themselves onto the memory stems of our brain; forever.
And unlike pain…they never fade
And they never lose their magic
My first came on a walk; from the toilets, back to the tent on a summer’s day, with the assistance of Sade; dads and babies; friends; lovers; an amazing subwoofer; and multiple swaying bodies
My second involved 3 children who were at first, separated, looking at each other with the self-consciousness of adults. Staring with the awkwardness of teenagers, and reeking with the transparent vulnerability of a child. The 4 of us were positioned in a large circle, one at each compass point. Totally apart; but all in view of one another. I’d just bought a bottle of bubbles from the shop, and to pass the time I began blowing. Read the rest of this entry