‘Beauty In The Madness’

Ignorance is bliss

Ignorance is mistaken

Ignorance is dangerous

Intellect is a blessing

Intellect is profound sadness

Intellect is a vehicle

Naivety is peace

Naivety is lacking

Naivety is vulnerable

Protection is vital

Protection is fear

Protection is suppression

Love is divine

Love is death

Love is insanity

Vulnerable is breath taking

Vulnerable is undetectable

Vulnerable is terrifying

Patience is selfless

Patience is inconsistency

Patience is a facade

Anger is control

Anger is too sure

Anger is passions fire

Understanding is everything

Understanding is kindness

Understanding is immeasurable

Human is inhumane

Human is difference

Human is change

Jealousy is love

Jealousy is venom

Jealousy is purity

Life is beautiful

Life is hell

Life is insignificant

Life is everything

Every word is all of these… simultaneously…in opposition…equally…and in contradiction…

It’s what we hear with our ears and see with our eyes that determines which of the definitions we gravitate towards. But I think the only way to see them is to acknowledge the reality of the truth in every contradiction you see above. Because for some, the heart is often unable to choose the nature of its perception!

This is an example of ‘Beauty in the Madness’… for me

shapes

turned to

letters

turned to

words

turned to

meaning

turned to

turned to

being.

We are indeed made of words…

 

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Bin The Labels…and Please Make Way For The Connections

If I ruled the world, I would begin by eradicating labels from society…ALL of them (almost)

There would be no – Black, White, British, Spanish, Old, Young, Liberal, Conservative, Sociopath, Bi Polar, Cancer, Farmer, Waitress, Unemployed, Married, Single, Disabled, Blind, Forgiving, Vengeful, Kind, Generous, Sweet, Cruel, Upper Class, Learning Difficulties, Healthy, Sick, Damaged, Fixed etc

When I studied sociology, I learnt about the importance of labels. I was taught that when a new label was introduced to mainstream language, it was a reflection of a ‘groups’ needs being recognised.

I was also taught that when a new label replaces an old one, such as the change from ‘Spastic‘ in the 80’s; to ‘A person with Learning Difficulties‘ in the 2000’s; the change is a reflection of a group trying to shed the stigma of being attached to a label that is mocked/ridiculed/mistreated/misunderstood/considered lesser

Sociology aside, life has taught me more about labels than any academic theory ever could.

Life…Pessimist, Realist and a Jolly Deluded Soul Discuss Ages 0-30

What are life’s biggest universal lessons from the age of 0 – 20 years old?

Pessimist – To learn how to become mildly tolerable to other humans, whilst maintaining the wholly narcissistic qualities we were all born with. Perfecting selfish methods to get whatever self-serving gift we want, whilst life throws crap at us. Crap after crap after more crap that is

Realist – To learn how to speak, think, act and do a variety of tasks; guided by parents, leaders and teachers who hope we will leave school as an independent and reliable ‘social skivvy’s/Capitalist servant’…

Jolly-ist – The wonder years…No responsibilities, our ‘free-est’ time, school days are the best days of your life etc. Childhood is when and where we see the world with beauty, innocence, laughter and love. And the world gives us beauty, innocence, laughter and love back (and a few lessons)

How about years 20 – 30?

Pessimist – 10 years of chasing love with all the wrong people, overcoming the addiction of dating monsters for the drama addiction. Realising the true hell of working 40 hours a week in a job you despise. Learning that there are a very limited number of positions in society that allow true happiness to flourish. Destroy approx 50% of one’s brain cells, consuming copious amounts of drugs/alcohol and fags

Living the Dream…Post Revolution! What would YOU do???

Sooooo…The people have overthrown the government and each community has been given a portion of the pot of gold (or tax)…The portion is directly related to a) Catchment area b) Last years budget and c) the number of people in the area who are able to pay tax and those who are not (babies, under 16’s, the disabled, the unemployed, the elderly)

Each community is now responsible for their own pot…If we did Norwich, we would have 18.5 million to divvy about…

It also means keeping it ‘topped up’ so it can fund schooling, education, health services and other public services such as recycling, waste control, lighting etc, plus whatever your community decides is worthwhile

 

 

 

 

20 People from each community will be nominated by their fellow community members, as representatives for all of the services. They will be nominated on the following criteria

Are they:-

1. Trustworthy

2. Fair

3. Champion of equality

4. Possess Integrity (honesty and with a moral compass)

5. Mercy oriented

6. Described as a Good Person

7. Knows Ethics (stems naturally from equality)

Once these people have been nominated and selected, (by the whole community) they will form the ‘Community Leadership Group’

Getting Naked… Depression Is Her Skin

What I never talk straight about

Depression!

Basically, my mental health has deteriorated to the point of complete ‘stoppage’ in all areas of my life. I’ve been living in my arm-chair for as long back as I can remember

Most days, I can’t even summon the will to bathe and brush my teeth

Sooooo…I’ve been fighting against the tide of my mental illnesses for nearly ten years and I’ve finally given up

Literally, physically, and psychologically…I’m fucked, tired, confused, astounded, grateful, defensive, paranoid, scared and my heart hurts

But this giving up thing only feels bad when I have an idea or a longing for something in my future, then I remind myself…’Dawn, you’ve given up, stop thinking about all that crap’

A Hearbreaking Choice, A Second Chance, A Mothers Letters of Love

To my darling daughter… the light of my life and my reason for living! Time has dragged so slowly since I wrote to you last month, I’ve been counting down the days til I could again. I really hope school is still being good to you 🙂 You told me a little bit about your friend Alice in your last letter, she sounds like a great friend! I’d love to hear about your other friends when you next write to me. 

So… has school taught you anything yet that really impressed you? God! As usual, I wanna ask you so much, but also tell you so much…

I want you to know that you can ask or tell me anything, absolutely anything. I’m not only your birth mother, I’m your best friend too. If you can’t go to your parents about something, no matter how wrong or scary or private it feels, you can tell me. I am impossible to shock so when I say anything, I really mean anything 🙂

Anyways, my little spring chicken, guess what!! ?? Thanks to your parents ongoing kindness, we get to see each other in less than 4 months! A  whole day together baby, I’m soooooo looking forward to it. What do you want to do? Where shall we go? I can’t believe your back in my life!!! I feel so blessed and I’m eternally grateful to your parents for this chance to get to know you…my darling daughter

I’ve been thinking like a wild thing about this months topic! I always start by asking myself ‘What do I want my baby girl to know and be?’ After sifting through boys, motherhood, hugs, racism and a ton of other topics, I finally landed on respect. I can only hope that I explain it in a way that makes sense

I’ll have a Diet Coke and a Dose of Leprosy (Please) :)

Hey all you folks on the tinternet!

I have written just 3 or 4 posts in 6 whole months! I’ve missed it a lot, and I’ve noticed that the more often I write, the better I feel. Plus, I still have a weak spot for them orange stars on wordpress…they give me a mini lift ;). I was writing almost everyday for 1 or 2 years before this gargantuan hiatus hit me. I was so self-conscious (whole ‘nother story). I think the creative section of my brain went AWOL

Ideas flowed in and out of me…normally

I was always thinking, always linking the ‘facts of life’!!! together to illustrate how the puzzle is made real… because of our inter connected lives, in terms of experiences, thoughts and feelings, schooling, families, institutions, careers, friends and lovers etc. Our similarities are wide-reaching, and bigger (more meaningful) than our differences. I truly believe that…

Anyways!!!

This post was meant to just be about alcohol, so I’ll get on the topic right about now

Leave Everything, Leave Nothing? Leave History or Hell!

IMAGINE…

The world was coming to an end

Were all given a time capsule, inside it is an a4 piece of paper and it reads

As we all know, we are coming to the end of the world and there is nothing we can do to stop it now. However, we believe these capsules may survive the chemical explosion. One day a long long way in the future, someone may find yours. You have 200 words at your disposal

Think of all the languages we have, great teachings, beautiful works of art. The internet, books, movies, bibles, history…All gone

When Insanity, Faith, Welfare, Ignorance and Bullying Collide…We call it Society!!!

Insanity often brings with it, a deep and profound understanding of human nature and all its oddities…Unfortunately, the semi-sane sometimes lack the skills needed to understand other humans, but they try anyway

No-body is ever going to convince me that my friends and family are anything other than ‘fabulous and dedicated’…Paranoia came far later than their ‘wunderbar’ love.

I also think your friends and family are ‘fabulous and dedicated’ … Most people are

My Vision for Improving Mental Health for Patients and Professionals Alike…

I would be extrememly grateful for any opinions you have on this dear readers, as I want to take this to my NHS trust in the hope some of the ideas and viewpoints are viable… the goal being to improve service to patients, and to give professionals more confidence and room to utilise their unique ways of caring, leading to a higher sense of satisfaction for all involved.

Its a bit messy and not the finished draft, but pre-tweek, i’d soooooooo appreciate your views if you have some time to read it. Danke Danke 🙂

The number’s for the numbered points have disappeared in the copy and paste transfer…as have all the references! I’m sure we all know why, anyhoo, the main bones are here!

Good Doctors are never forgotten. Good practice changes lives. Poor practice can destroy them. 

   Anxiety, Mental Illness & Ethics for Change

 

Guidance to Treat Anxiety alongside other Mental Health Issues – For Primary & Secondary Care Workers

1.       The True Scale of Anxiety in ‘Mentally Ill Patients’

2.       Anxiety Kills!

3.       A Safe Place is Vital…

4.       The Things We All Feel When Were Mentally Unwell

5.       Simplify and Believe. When Will The Culture of Distrust Dissolve?

6.       The Questionnaire

7.       6 Ways to Nurture Hope…

8.       6 Things We Will Do For You (Immediately)

9.       6 Weeks Alone – Mind The Gap

10.   6 Steps to Great Care – Back to Basics…

11.  No More Double Standards – Say Goodbye To Stigma

 Guidance to Treat Anxiety alongside other Mental Health Issues – For Secondary Care Worker

How to Change The World Forever! Press Print from The Armchair! :)

The Day ‘Newling’ Changed The World – Dum Dum Duuuummmmmmmmm!

(click here to visit ‘the future’)

BRISTOL are the latest forward thinkers on ‘Printing their own currency’ (see link below) – With a little SIMPLIFICATION, One currency could be rolled out worldwide with relative ease

Please bear in mind that if you take away stock markets (which are just game playing with numbers on a large-scale) and also, erase the (IDEA) man-made invention called ‘THE ECONOMY’ – Money is worth the cost of the paper and the ink. TOTAL! The whole world trade system and the linking of currencies – are otherwise known as the 2 methods used to maintain the current (corrupted) way of doing things…FOREVER!

SIMPLIFIED Solution – Design and Print Money at home (The rich make up about 2% of the population). The other 98% are normal people, and most normal people live on or below the bread line. For success, the new money ‘goes live’ when most of the 98% know about it. It needs nationwide (and hopefully worldwide) uptake…making it clear to the rich and powerful, that they are seriously outnumbered (as the rich will resist, but only for so long)

98% of the world population are broke! And 98% have the power to change their lives for the better FOREVER!

‘WAGES in Newling’ – I’m happy to set the bank/building society up, and if employers refuse to pay wages in ‘Newling’, I’ll print you off all the ‘Newling’ you need, until the 2% come round to the idea that they can’t win this one. Then Tesco will be giving you your change in ‘Newlings’ 🙂

Our Forever Changing ‘Shadow of Self’ – The Two Wolves

Twice this week I have come across a quote you’ve probably all heard

“A fight is going on inside me,” said an old man to his son. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you.”

The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, “Which wolf will win?” 

The old man replied simply, “The one you feed.”
― Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

This got me thinking about a section from the book – ‘Conversations with God’…It basically said that due to the human need for duality (which is required in order to find meaning in this life) God is, and always has been ‘ALL OF IT’.

He (or Life) created on Earth a system including…good and bad, lies and truth, joy and pain, morals and anarchy, gluttony and hunger, poverty and riches etc. He (or life) created these opposites so that we may know ourselves, and also re-define ourselves as we change and grow. We do this by relating our traits to the attributes of the 2 wolves

This got me thinking about our shadows

Dear Body, I’m Sorry…

Dear Body,

Considering our history, you may find some of the words written here, very difficult to believe. Probably because of the way I used to see you

That does not make them any the less true…

I’m sorry for mocking your dimpled thighs. I wish it was just mocking that needed a mention, but hatred was/is in there too…

You have carried me for 34 long years, and in that time I have done nothing to nourish you. Instead I have pumped you full of junk food, drugs, alcohol and nicotine, just to name a few of many unhealthy substances

In this World of White and Blue…Finally I see the Colour of You

Dear Lil,

As I lay here in this blue and white world, the smell of hospital disinfectant fills my nostrils and pinches the back of my throat. All I see are blue and white floors, and blue and white curtains, filled with blue and white soldiers flitting from here to there; they are all running around too quickly to stop and smile…As I eat another tasteless dinner, my ears cringe at the harsh sound of clashing trays being collected by the blue apron brigade

Then; in my mind’s eye, I’m arriving home after work…I see you turn around at the sound of my feet on the linoleum…You always had a smile for me, no matter what the day bought you personally. I never stopped to wonder why sometimes, it didn’t creep up into your eyes

There is much time to take stock of my surroundings in here, and it has been this lengthened time with my senses, that’s lead me back to you

As I lie down at night now, I think of all the mornings of my life, when I woke up to find your arms around me, and your cold toes tickling the soles of my feet

Bin The Labels…and Please Make Way For The Connections

If I ruled the world, I would begin by eradicating labels from society…ALL of them (almost)

There would be no – Black, White, British, Spanish, Old, Young, Liberal, Conservative, Sociopath, Bi Polar, Cancer, Farmer, Waitress, Unemployed, Married, Single, Disabled, Blind, Forgiving, Vengeful, Kind, Generous, Sweet, Cruel, Upper Class, Learning Difficulties, Healthy, Sick, Damaged, Fixed etc

When I studied sociology, I learnt about the importance of labels. I was taught that when a new label was introduced to mainstream language, it was a reflection of a ‘groups’ needs being recognised.

I was also taught that when a new label replaces an old one, such as the change from ‘Spastic‘ in the 80’s; to ‘A person with Learning Difficulties‘ in the 2000’s; the change is a reflection of a group trying to shed the stigma of being attached to a label that is mocked/ridiculed/mistreated/misunderstood/considered lesser

Sociology aside, life has taught me more about labels than any academic theory ever could.

Because Sometimes…9 Minutes Makes A Miracle! :)

If I had the job of trying to inspire the human race – subject LIFE – Using 2 YouTube videos – I’d pick these

SERIOUSLY – This astounding young girl really really says it all, and I believe everyone in the world should have the chance to watch this moving and poignant clip…(you will likely blub at least once, with both sadness and joy, she’s beyond amazing)

Followed by none other than old Louis Himself – Who also says it all, as much with his big old grin as with the wonder of the song itself…Just Magic 🙂

What a Wonderful World

10 Random Things I Think

I think the world is far weirder than one person could ever even imagine, let alone grasp or fully understand/know

I think the biggest damn between people, is made entirely of presumption shaped bricks

I think I am a least partially tapped of mind, never to be untapped again

I think there are levels on the way to evolving as a species, and I believe we won’t get to the highest ones until we abandon money and the RIDICULOUS human invention known as – the economy

I think people are a lot kinder deep down than they think they are

My nan used to say, thought thought he’d shit himself, but when he looked he’d only farted 🙂 lol… nice one Grandma Bunn 🙂

I think the way we allow our old people to be treated is a disgrace, and we should be utterly and entirely ASHAMED

I think people are most lacking free time in the West, and free time is needed for reflective thought to be touched upon, and for growth and change to be considered, rather than reactive

I think I think too much for my own good

I think love has more power than any other force on this earth

Just Breathe…

Fear and pain cause us to build a fortress around ourselves, one thick enough to withstand nuclear attacks to the mind, body and soul

Reality teaches us all about the limitations of fear

And ends the lesson with a reminder that scary things exist

But does it do us any good? Trying to avoid fearful situations?

The soul knows the answer to this…

The soul knows love, life, peace and freedom. It has no room or purpose for fear, other than as a reminder to be brave

Fear stops me breathing, over and over again

There are worst things in this world than slugs! :)

The conclusion stands until further notice

There may not be any further notices on this subject, maybe there will, either way is cool beans for me!?

At the moment my body is defying movement

It’s never gone on this long, ever, but I know there is some serious healing to be done

The greatest blessing to come from God’s friendship and our faith in each other?

My freedom

I no longer feel the need or desire to chase life’s dreams

If my dream of being a columnist re-ignites, I’ll simply announce myself as a columnist and set up a new blog, simplessssss 🙂

I’m no longer bothered about my bottom of the pile ‘social status’

That is not who I am, only I need to know that

Q) and A) with the Lord and My Notepad! :)

When I’m feeling blue, one of my favourite things to do is to spend the night reading your fabulous snippets of wisdom ere on WordPress… I do tend to subscribe to blogs that are positive, loving and spiritual, but some days, when the ugly side of life penetrates my brain, I’m all too aware that not everybody subscribes to love, or believes in it in the same way that we fluffy folk do

This past year my life has changed almost beyond measure, and it feels like I’ve done a decade’s worth of learning in a mere 12 months

I guess the greatest thing I’ve gained is faith and ‘The Experience of God Sized Love’

God literally saved my life 4 times and filled me with the most mahoosive dose of love and kindness, far past any feeling of love I have ever felt or could imagine

Most days I wake up and thank him profusely, but today I felt heavy, and for the first time, I was frightened that as my idealistic outlook gets dipped with some less pleasant droplets of reality, I might lose hope. So (you may think I’m insane for believing that he answers me) I got my trusty notepad out and asked him for his take – This was what followed