Up until recently, I always thought it better to tell your close friends the real reasons behind your decisions and actions, as real friends generally accept you no matter what, and having true friends in your life is a blessing not to be under-estimated
I can be a bit anal about this, as I’m over sensitive about lies (even though I am at times, a liar). I like people who tell you how it is, even when it isn’t rosy, because you know where you are with them.
But I also have friends who believe they are being a better friend by not being straight with me, if the issue is controversial, hurtful and/or potentially explosive, and I see this method as just as committed, compassionate and loving.
Another thoughtful way of dealing with a lack of understanding; both methods come from the desire to be a good friend. It’s a matter of preference, rather than better or worse ways
HOWEVER, if your reasons for doing something or not doing something are kinda abnormal to said friend(s), and especially if they cannot understand or relate to them, they can and do make judgements about you that are outright wrong and hurtful, and if the reasons become increasingly outlandish, the less people get you, and the more you are subjected to being labelled something you are not
Which kinda pisses all of us off! Read the rest of this entry