Tag Archives: People

How Bloody Clever is Old Epic Pants Upstairs? VERY! ;)

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Cover of "Wes Craven Presents They"

Once upon a time people weren’t so disillusioned with life, and they believed in the soul as a fluffy section of each human being

They couldn’t see it, but they believed in it anyway, and some said, the human journey of each soul kept repeating and repeating its journey on earth as a human being, until each lad and lassy reached their purpose, that being, to create the ideal of it’s souls dreams, it’s souls job…

Then the soul became the sole, and people started stomping on the hearts of others and popping their clogs in their own ways, through sickness and disease and war and battles for power…

These wars existed in home, street, and country alike

So some clever clever people realised that the heart was leading the soul on a perverted journey, and everyone was sad and in pain Read the rest of this entry

Ohhhh My Gaaaaawd! 68 times over! :////

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I wonder how many other people in the world have had a day like I have had today?

100%

Homesickness

Homesickness? Yes! Of the Worst Kind!

1%Me Percent?

Just me?!?!

Before this news I often asked myself

Who are you Dawny?

I don’t know today, I’ve not really known much, ever, except how to have too much fun, and never listen properly!

Now I know everything and STILL nothing

How miraculously shocking is that! ? As a truth? And truth it is!

Today was exactly the same as so many other days I’ve had

33 whole years of days like these… Read the rest of this entry

Inaction exists cos people bug the living shite out of us, all the live long day!

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IMG_1491These last few weeks, when I’ve been bobbing through tut city centre, I’ve noticed a new kinda person wanting our time

On top of the 64 charity workers that plague our conscience by asking us to spare a minute (how tight do we feel when we refuse to give them a teeny tiny minute)

It’s not cos we all don’t have a we minute to spare, its ‘cos everyone wants a minute Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 16 – The Liar, The Lover… and The Difference

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“I love you”

“I love you too”

“I want to be with you forever”

“I want to be with you forever too”

“I will stand by you forever”

“I will stand by you too”

“I’m still standing, darling”

“Hello?”

“Hello…Are you there?”

“Is anybody there?”

Silence…

Silence is the Difference

(61 words)

Short number 15 – Must be one up!

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“I love you”

“I love you too”

(He thinks… but she’s loved before. So he says)

You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”

“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”

(He thinks…but she’s loved beautiful people before. So he says)

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes”

(He thinks….At last, she’s never said yes and meant it before)

I’m up!

(62 words)

It could be worse, you could be Littlebeut333! ;)

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I am a disgrace to the following :-

Will Power

Saving Money

Studying

Not Blogging

Visiting my Parents

Writing

Humour

Social Graces

AND

The gods of – Getting out of bed-us before noon-us, even with multiple alarm-ussssssss!

Soooooooo if you’re feeling poooey, after reading this you should feel marginally better about yourself!

Although you should know, I have great shoes…GREAT SHOES; and they are probably better than yours

Apart from that, I am back to being disgraceful – all over town, relish in my inadequacy people, and there is no need to thank me!

You Are Welcome 😉

Eugenics without murder = Ladette to Lady

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Rosemary is a chef, food enthusiast and TV per...

For any of you that are not aware of this delightful television program – The general gist is to improve the behaviour of a selection of ‘out of control girls’; via methods that were used in the finishing schools of the 19th century.

Please note the main goal for the girls participating in this program, is to become a clone of Rosemary Shrager.

During their stay at the mansion of change, they are taught how to dress; how to speak; how to laugh; when to laugh; how to cook; how to sew buttons onto shirts; how to arrange flowers… and how to not get your boobies out in public.

This television programme (although mildly entertaining) is like a giant kick in the teeth to every suffragette. And to all the women who burnt their bras, and tied themselves to gates and fences in order to secure the female vote.

I believe there is mass grave turning happening every Thursday evening from 8 ‘til 9pm

For me, this program is nothing more than a training package to become – A successful candidate for the Stepford wives club Read the rest of this entry

Littlebeut333 wants to ‘Change The World’…Ohhhh yes she does! ;)

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Advice fit for the Butt-hole? Or the Bee’s Knees of The Ball?

invocation 22, channel 7, deal 4, trick J; con...    I was going to write a short description about my views on changing the world…However, I know how quickly we humans dismiss opinion if it doesn’t fit with our own ideology and experiences… So I will just tell you some things about me, that I think may sway you into thinking I might have a point or two.

I am a 12-year-old pensioner. I vote Conservative, Green’s, Labour and BNP. I’m an Asian, White, Greek, Aborigine bar working prostitute, and also a director at British Telecom. In the evenings I read ‘The Times’ and I watch porn. I love the Dalai Lama, but also Jeremy Kyle and buying shares. I’m upper class, middle class, under class scum. I grew up in a palace with its own moat, situated on the back of a council housing estate; and I practice a mixture of Buddhism, Bettyism, and hard-core Eugenics. I don’t drink or smoke, and I only take crack on Tuesdays. I love champagne, especially when accompanied by Sainsbury’s basics’s tuna in brine. I’m a man, woman, trans-gender, bi sexual, straight geezer bird. I love grey parrots and baby baboons, but I campaign for the culling of all other wildlife in the name of commerce. I empty my chip pan fat down the sink.

(are you all covered and IN with me yet?) ;)

OK, now I’ve got your attention, I’ll tell you that I have been called ‘A wise old soul’ more than 3 times in my life! Read the rest of this entry

“If your partner is ‘Crazy’, run for the hills” (The World, 2012) … How Rude!

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Cover of "Crazy People"

That would be everyone then?

I decided to do a little bit of research into my love life a few weeks ago

And I typed ‘why am I attracted to crazy people’ into Google. (Please note, I wasn’t presuming I am remotely sane when I typed it…So it was more a ‘2 way’ research jobby ;))

Anyhoo, by the time I’d reached the bottom of page 2, I was a broken woman!

Firstly, it would seem that only women are deemed nutters, as every bleeding article for 2 pages was about crazy women…I’ve met my fair share of nutters and around half were male! As you might expect

Second…There was advice from a whole range of people – laymen, the experienced and broken hearted. The young, the old, and the professional experts…they all had something to say

The advice varied enormously, but the final thoughts added up to the same thing EVERY SINGLE TIME…

‘If your partners crazy run for the hills!’ (Summarised)

If you replaced crazy with ‘black’ or ‘wheelchair bound’, there would be 68 petitions banning the article… directly underneath it

But ohhhh no, not for the crazy people, leave them to rot ay? Even psychologists are throwing out this advice

Such empathy and warmth? Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 13 – It’s my alter ego, silly!

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“I’m not crying”

Water dropping from a tap.

Mrs Leaky, In all her glory!

   “Yes you are, you’ve been crying for days”

  

“It’s not me”

   “I have another personality you see”

   “Meet tap…Leaking tap”

“I’ll get you a new washer”

“Don’t bother, they all snap with the pressure, we don’t install them anymore”

(“This little tap of mine, i’m gonna let it cry, let it cry, let it cry, let it crrrrry”!)

(62 words) (woops)

Why use words, if you can ‘Ram Raid’ instead?

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What is the world coming to?

Last night, I was having a little session with Amy and my stereo for about half an hour, I’ll grant you it wasn’t on the quietest volume; but it wasn’t excessively loud! AND I respect the 11pm rule of silence… even though I live at opposite ends of the time continuum to the rest of the world, and screaming children at 7am; and arguments about who is gonna do the milk trip, are just as destructive to my sleep patterns, as music is past 11pm, for the normal people

It was approximately 7pm when a mini earthquake struck my lounge!

Being as I’m psychotic at the moment, it wasn’t the best phenomena for me to ponder over…I seriously thought I had morphed into a whole new land of new insanity, when everything began shaking. NOTE – I turned the music down immediately to investigate the drama

I have a little cupboard directly behind my TV stand which houses my electricity and gas meters. The newish neighbours next door who are too rude to say hello, began smashing some kind of heavy weapon against their side of my cupboard. I’m not sure what their weapon was but the door on the cupboard was forcing its way into the room, and pushing my television off the stand inch by inch with every blow. The glass shelf under the TV fell down, DVDs flew in every direction…and THEN a fucking great lump of concrete FLEW outta the cupboard and landed on my GLASS TV stand! Read the rest of this entry

‘Psychosis is a necessity; for the emotional development of certain people’?(Moi, 2012)

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Love, Life and Feelings

I think it would be a fair generalisation to say that : – People who suffer from periods of psychosis, tend to be thinkers. Not just in bouts of insanity; but all the time…

I’ve just mind meandered onto this odd theory/definition of psychosis…

‘Psychosis is a necessity; for the emotional development of certain people’ 😉 (Moi, 2012)

Thinkers can fall into the trap of over thinking and under feeling. If you’re a thinker, you’re likely a problem solver… and before you know it, you’ve totally lost touch with your feelings because you’ve rationalised the shit out of; not feeling anything

But when delusions loom, in my experience…they are always intrinsically linked to 3 things

Fear/Terror

Shame

Pain

For me at least, these 3 categories cover everything that I choose not to dwell on as a thinker. Everything I don’t want to feel sits under these umbrellas… Read the rest of this entry

If you can’t get a life; At least reach for some thoughts…you ‘Bitter Buggers!’ ;)

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Revenge of the Zombies

Evolve people PLEASE! For Betty's Sake!

As a rule, I’m not a judgy person

I have an ability to see two sides of most situations; so when I see someone behaving like a twat, I can normally find some inner mercy for their idiot views/behaviours. Cos we’re all the way we are; because of where we’ve been and what happened when we got there!

However

My blind spot lies in my upbringing in Jolly Old Leytonstone. For all the many cultures I lived amongst, for all the differences I’ve bounced between, there was a steady message that permeated the lot in sunny East London, back in the day…

You DO NOT grass!

And you certainly DO NOT grass to the powers that be…

Unfortunately this little lesson didn’t reach 120 miles down the road

TRAGIC, in the eyes of Dawny…

During the last hose pipe ban in Norfolk, 35,000 people made the effort to sign onto the web, type in ‘Grass hotline number for Anglian Sewerage Co please’…and then they paid 20p to grass their next door neighbour up, for washing their car!

WTF??? Do any of you even know who has a hose pipe or an outside tap in your street? Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 9 (I think)…Catch me if meow can!

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A house cat named Milky meows when get caught ...

Catch me if meow can Mother Fucker!

The predator came again (yawn)

The Hunter, The Stalker, The Trier, The God of the Web Pilferer’s…The Leader of the Western Plates

The Wilder-Peast!!!

But; where oh where was the prize?

“She’s a quick as a fucking cat that one”

Overhearing the Peast, she meow’d with delight and ran…

“Catch me if meow can”

She Sang!

(55 words)

The World, The Police, The Normal and The Surreal…

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A Metropolitan Police Service photographer fil...

For the last few weeks, I’ve been watching this series on policing in England; and needless to say, I’ve been shocked at some of the acts I’ve seen…varying from immense kindness to immense brutality

It seems we (British people) tolerate our policemen smashing the shit out of certain innocent people with metal bats; so long as they are ultra polite when they issue our speeding tickets; which they ALWAYS are!

Then I got to thinking about how much we take for granted as normal…ONLY because we’re used to it.

Thanks to Easy Jet and the birth of tiny toiletries, I was able to go on several cheapy cheap foreign adventures in the last few years. And I ran into the police on 2 of the 3 trips…

First, I went to Krakow in Poland and the gargantuan river Wisla was minutes away from bursting its banks when I arrived. There were sandbags, people and police everywhere; and camcorders! It seems it’s a bit of an entertaining event for the people of Krakow; watching the river swell til it’s too late to run away.

I for one, was getting out of there…

WELL; I dared to attempt to cross a very busy, ‘scarily wide’ road, and apparently; I was not meant to be there

The first I knew of this crime I’d committed, was when the police man I was standing ahead of, accelerated like the Stig (from Top Gear)…and launched his car at me full pelt… until the bumper was an inch from my knees. He then slammed the car to a halt, screeching brakes included; wound down his window; (as did the other Loony copper in the passenger seat) Read the rest of this entry

Ripping Innocent Daisies to Shreds!

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English: This is the real Petal. All the other...

Girls, do you think I'm in there or what?

Little girls play this game;

They played it when I was tiny; I played it when I was tiny; and they still play it now…

They pick a flower from the ground, and one after the other; they pull off every petal

Each time they tear away a pretty petal, from its life force…

They say the words

He loves me!?…

He loves me not!?

He loves me!?…

He loves me not!?

 

Personally, I think this game speaks volumes about how girls and boys view love.

(Alert – Huge sweeping generalisation or two, on the way) Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 8 – What’s the worst that can happen?

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"A Negro Hung Alive by the Ribs to a Gall...

The very worst…of the human condition?

Pain

It’s just pain

You’ve lived it before

And you will, again

Now; you have no excuse for not doing everything you ever dreamed of

‘I said go out there and get hurt…And please don’t forget to enjoy the ride’

(47 words)

Short Number 7 – Insular Home Sweet Home

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Alone

I’d had enough by the 7th day

All I wanted to do was get home; you know how it is when you start to miss home.

I went to my favourite cafe, ignored everyone, and ate exactly the same ingredients as I did in that Spanish cafe

Smiling inside

(50 words)