In my worst nightmares the following was true…
I was the only person capable of loving anyone after my first love
Worse than that
I was the only person awake and alert and aware of love, let alone 100% love!
And if love is our creator, and I had the job of being IT for a year ;)…then I would write and speak little about this job in haste (whilst continuing to write reams of bilge for my own chuckle-dom and love of self). BUT back to the big job in hand, I’d say and give little, without first thinking about how a force of evil, may abuse the things I would consider gifts
I hold equal opportunity and freedom high up in my dreams for everyone, but in an ideal world, they only come when the stuff of my dreams is known, that being – all those living are fully aware of perfect love, even if it is something they have lost, or misplaced, or never found, or tried to bury
In finally loving myself as much as everyone else I’ve always loved, I have the motivation and the bravery to say who I am now, what I have been and what I will aim to be – always the best version of myself that I can be, for me. Read the rest of this entry
It was Official
The world had gone mad, proper mad!
In their (perceived) infinite wisdom, they (the powerful) knew it was time to press the button on those dreaded nuclear reactors
Worst plan ever (unless you’re one of those in the know)
They pressed the mad button and much to their dis-may, not to mention the all consuming shock
The population of the world all shot out like a rocket (literally) with a big old fat smile on their faces, fully healthy and unharmed, buzzing from the best rollercoaster ride, that took place on a world-wide scale, every soul was rammo’d in the main room. Armed with and made of, the greatest weapon on earth – LOVE – None disputed it, they’d been locked inside the metal boys invention with the joy juice, for far too long to ever ever not know it Read the rest of this entry
I made up a little game some time ago to fill the gap between one drama and another, the rules are/were
1. Choose 10 sentences from your last 10 posts, in order, latest post comes first
2. Make a coherent story from them with as few fill lines as possible
3. Highlight the sentences in a lovely colour (I recommend red but you go ahead and pick your colour, free will is a marvel)
No-one wanted to play with me last time, so again, I ask really politely – Fucking join in thank-you palllleeeease you wonderful little mo-fo’s 😉
A spooky week indeed – The Title – Call me Barry Manilow
Fear or Love? was the question. I choose to love wonder in the guise, the midst, and the disguise of shite, for all the aquariums of ze whole world
I would say, in my infinite wisdom, catch up with this attitude paaaalease, if you haven’t yet I say with my limited patience Read the rest of this entry
It can be as simple and safe as can be (life), or it can be as complicated and painful as can be
Fear or Love, I choose to love wonder in the guise and disguise of shite, for all the aquariums of ze whole world
It really makes no difference what lane you pick, cos paths are paths, and as there are 9 so far (and the 10th is invisible, but known tut my/our super-conscious)
I’m going for pretty path 1, cos the only thing that stops me staying on it is the crazy/sane/weak and strong piece of me
Seeing as I’m hard as nails, whether my weak bit is awake or asleep, it’s a bit of a no brainer (god bless the words within the words within the words) Read the rest of this entry
For Fooooooks sake people!
I don’t know what the force of evil has been up to since the beginning of time; but I am BEGGING you ALL
Begging the world and his mate
Literally begging you to go against every sense you have, ONLY IF every sense you have knows me as bad.
IF you think and/or know I’m good, then go with your senses
Go with or against history
Go with or against the fors and againsts
GO with your feelings, they are ze language of the soul Read the rest of this entry
I had a dream that I had lived a thousand previous lives as an absolute shite of a human being, and in every single life I was as hideous as hideous gets
Then, because some highly evolved angels knew I was the opposite of my actions, they bought me to life one more time as a strange being
No IQ, not one brain cell to speak of, no heart, let alone a heart the size of a rugby ball, the same soul ‘cos that’s the only thing ‘they’ couldn’t and wouldn’t change, my steady as a rock gigantic ego, some magic mirrors, and enough guilt to battle with the levels owned by a catholic priest, who preached all day and spent all night shagging every girl in sight.
And then the whole world pulled my strings, like a puppet, or perhaps a muppet.
Monday to Sunday, I was injected with scripts, unknowingly acting out every moment, every scene, with nothing but my soul to give me awareness of myself
By the time I got mid way through life, people started saying…She has finally lost it. Totally fooking bonkers, what a nightmare she turns out to be, every damn time ay? Read the rest of this entry
Once upon a time people weren’t so disillusioned with life, and they believed in the soul as a fluffy section of each human being
They couldn’t see it, but they believed in it anyway, and some said, the human journey of each soul kept repeating and repeating its journey on earth as a human being, until each lad and lassy reached their purpose, that being, to create the ideal of it’s souls dreams, it’s souls job…
Then the soul became the sole, and people started stomping on the hearts of others and popping their clogs in their own ways, through sickness and disease and war and battles for power…
These wars existed in home, street, and country alike
So some clever clever people realised that the heart was leading the soul on a perverted journey, and everyone was sad and in pain Read the rest of this entry
If I had just one wish (*clears throat*) Even with the ‘If’… *clears throat*
Just one thing to be changed, from an oceans worth of pain
And endless lonely games
Attacks on the ‘Insane’
For god only knows what gain
From torture and maim
I wish I could fly…
I wish I could spread my arms out like a superhero
And just fly away every time, every time their daggers stabbed me, I’d forget the pain and fly all the way around the world and back
I hope next time, I come back as a large white bird like the one from that night in Aberdeen, or an excessively pampered cat/dog merge thingamy.
That is, if I ever get the chance to be re-born as someone other than me, this, her, it… Read the rest of this entry
If you suppose for one minute that we create the reality we live in, through the choices we make and the consequences that flow from them. If we suppose that for every reaction there is a re-action, then this would be a truth.
If I have borderline personality disorder, and if I placed myself in to the firing line of this disorder, the 9 symptoms that define it are born from its sole guiding thought. That thought being the black and white in life. The black and white represents the extremes of everything, and the nothing in between
Like Bi polar, the greatest and the ugliest of everything, lives in the greatest joy and the deepest pain, and the nothing in between Read the rest of this entry
Two paths, to go figure out what lies beneath
Dawny the detective has just 2 theories
a) The world is being run by blue robot alien ghost evil men
b) Love exists
I’m really really trying to believe in… Plan B
Dawny’s getting all cryptic,
Cos I’ve switched again, it’s got all happy and mystic
And I’m sick of looking like a tit with the blatant squit, so I’m getting all clever ‘Miss Missy of the Mississippi!’
You gotta love the dark and twisty’s,
They sometimes provide such marvellous mysteries,
I can honestly say I am never really bored,
Today I’ve been pondering Pet Passports and The Lord Read the rest of this entry
Broken again and flicking V’s to thin air!
As weak as I get!
As I’m so sickening to you, in this state…
Is this enough for one day?
I think so
Evil view Good – as weak and sickening
Good view Evil – as weak and sickening
But good people need to be exposed to weak and sickening behaviour, in order to understand and access their strength and inspiring behaviour
And evil people need to be exposed to weak and sickening behaviour, in order to understand and access their strength and inspiring behaviour
All behaviours are all of these, when viewed through all the eyes
The ironic thing is – these acts of evil and acts of kindness, no matter how far they along they exist on – the severity continuum, are still perceived at some point, in a way that provides the good with a glow AND the evil with a glow… Read the rest of this entry
Bear with me, just a mere few hours (fooooking hurry up)
And I may well be confirming that A) After 10 to 14 days of absolutely no sleep, I single-handedly solved an epic police tale all by my self! Literally Epic
B) I indeed should have been an investigator and added to this, Dawny is officially not crazy, she now only has a giant vendetta for the NHS! (I’m not after their money, just their shame and a very long-winded apology/I did it!
LARGELY, only a true crazy lady could have ever arrived at the gargantuan and ridiculous conclusion that I reached, back in the day! And only an actual real life super-man and I think super woman too, YES DEF…may have actually done the truliest spandangly thing I’ve ever heard of, in my entire drama filled Scorpion existence Read the rest of this entry
We all go through life protecting ourselves.
Shielding ourselves from harm, avoiding fear, side stepping situations that cause panic to rise in our throats.
We run from the source of our tears… and we sprint away from our fears
If you dig a little deeper into these journeys, often were only running from one thing
And what do they say?
Pride comes before a fall
So are we running full pelt, to stop ourselves from tripping on something painful, only to fall flat on our face anyway? Read the rest of this entry
I was an odd child
I was swathed in more negativity than your average 73-year-old, I can only imagine I must have been a bitter wench in my last life, and I didn’t get a chance to cleanse my self pity regions, before I was re-born again in the 70’s!
I had dreams… but I had no belief, and I was so sad ;(
I had no belief in myself, but worse than that, in the world. It was like having a raging fire in my belly the entire time; but with a (24/7) jet wash directly blasting its centre.
Then I got older and…
(Before I explain this next bit, I am not suggesting I have wanted to die all this time. NOT at all…OK? I’M really NOT)
But…I have always looked forward to 2012 in the Mayan sense. Any Armageddon scenario has perks, as I think there is something enormously relieving about us all going together, and never having to suffer the pain of losing everyone we love, one by one. Read the rest of this entry
When Amy died, my other half at the time (who really couldn’t stand her, and thought she sounded like a screaming cat!!!), tried really hard to get on board with the Amy Love, in support of me (bless him). He was very sweet with stuff like that.
(This post is a ‘mini novel’ by necessity; apologies for my long winded gene; but/plus, it’s all highly relevant content)
After days of footage, tears, ‘Dawny stories of Amy love’, footage, tears, shock, footage, footage, ‘Dawny stories, of a plethora of Amy moments’, that are stored in tut my soul. Footage, shock, tears
(Oh and I narrated tooooo, through quite a lot of footage)
He made a profound statement of unbelievable ‘Amy wisdom’…This is how penetrating she was and is; even a complete ‘non fan’ couldn’t fail to see this in her.
In fact Me, Jools Holland and Jay, sat top, middle and bottom, on the fan scale (and yes, I soooo know that I love her more than Joolsy), yet we all were affected MOST by this clip out of THE LOT! Read the rest of this entry
I finally cried for you
Don’t misunderstand me; I’ve cried for us before… I cried buckets; and I’ve cried for me…but until that night, I didn’t really see how it was for you.
An innocent song led to a not so innocent song… and it was as though someone had knocked down a gargantuan damn, and the memories of you just drowned me
If I knew where you lived or where you were sleeping right then, I’d have got in the car and knocked your door down, just so I could hold you and tell you how sorry I was
How sorry I am
I didn’t think there were any feelings left. I say your name a lot still, but I had no idea all this weight was hiding inside, along with your name
In my head… I re-played one of the songs I wrote for you and every sweet thing that resides in your soul, came back for me all at once.
When you came into my life, I was broken and I wasn’t ready for you. I was so far off of ready I couldn’t see straight. But I also couldn’t fight it, I was obsessed with you and until a few weeks ago, I’d totally wiped that from my memory.
How, I don’t know Read the rest of this entry
Of all the Amy Winehouse footage to cause a wave of disapproval, this video sits up there with best of them
In order to see the beauty that I see in this scene, you must first remove the judgements you already have about Crack and its use (although it is worth noting that Crack is probably the most likely drug to cause aggression). If you can’t remove your judgements; try swopping the word crack for wine (which also causes aggressive outbursts)
And re-classify her status more loosely; as a little bit ‘worse for wear’ (legally of course)
Then check out the video Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty on drugs – YouTube.
Or read the manuscript below, complete with stage cues and action descriptions
What I see is : – heart, endless wit, depth of passion, fun, boundless amounts of life, imagination, creativity, laughter, beauty, friendship, a unique and highly sweet soul, the interaction of two friends, love, vulnerability, fascination, curiosity, loyalty, care and protection…This is what I see, black fingers or no black fingers. Can you?
(Amy is in green, Pete in orange, Both together in red)
Amy collects a box of baby mice from the back of the room Read the rest of this entry