Tag Archives: random

You Said There is Something Beautiful About Sadness…Why?

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Because we are real when we are sad             sadness

Because it deepens the shallow and weakens the strong

Because it is where I often rest, and where there is rest, there is peace. Peace is not happiness per se’.

Because it is probably not your resting state…it is the opposite of normal for the majority of people. It is different and that which is different is always beautiful, even if that beauty remains hidden to most

Because it is the music and the melody of the ‘resting places’ on the journey to riches of the soul…Depth. Compassion. Insight. Empathy. Wisdom. Love. Forgiveness

Because it is a force of nature and a force for change Read the rest of this entry

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‘Beauty In The Madness’

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Bin The Labels…and Please Make Way For The Connections

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If I ruled the world, I would begin by eradicating labels from society…ALL of them (almost)

There would be no – Black, White, British, Spanish, Old, Young, Liberal, Conservative, Sociopath, Bi Polar, Cancer, Farmer, Waitress, Unemployed, Married, Single, Disabled, labels 1Blind, Forgiving, Vengeful, Kind, Generous, Sweet, Cruel, Upper Class, Learning Difficulties, Healthy, Sick, Damaged, Fixed etc

When I studied sociology, I learnt about the importance of labels. I was taught that when a new label was introduced to mainstream language, it was a reflection of a ‘groups’ needs being recognised.labels

I was also taught that when a new label replaces an old one, such as the change from ‘Spastic‘ in the 80’s; to ‘A person with Learning Difficulties‘ in the 2000’s; the change is a reflection of a group trying to shed the stigma of being attached to a label that is mocked/ridiculed/mistreated/misunderstood/considered lesser

Sociology aside, life has taught me more about labels than any academic theory ever could. Read the rest of this entry

A Letter to My Fix…Addicts and Bandages

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Dear best friend and worst enemy,

Someone asked me about you last week. About what you do for fix 7me and what exactly our relationship to each other is. Whilst you remain indifferent, incapable of caring about which one of us randomer’s uses you; I am somewhat more attached to us and our rendezvous’… Firstly, it was just me and you back when my life was nothing more than a living breathing nightmare, straight from the fiery pits of hell, and worthy of a thousand great horror stories. Me and you. You were the only vehicle capable of taking me between 2 worlds and back to this one again. It was me and you here when all those miracles occurred in front of my eyes, no denying them, or their pure unadulterated life changing essence. You were there when I was too shy to show my other best friends who I had become.

Now I have no idea who I am anymore; so your filling the gap between self acceptance and self-expression until further notice or further bravery, whichever comes first.

Back then, You were there when I couldn’t lfix 8ift my head up off the arm of the chair; when the only time I moved was to go to the loo. When I was so depressed it was an effort to breathe and a daily battle with suicidal fantasies. Yes. Fantasies. I wanted nothing more than to die back then. Read the rest of this entry

Life…Pessimist, Realist and a Jolly Deluded Soul Discuss Ages 0-30

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What are life’s biggest universal lessons from the age of 0 – 20 years old?

Pessimist – To learn how to become mildly tolerable to other humans, whilst maintaining the wholly narcissistic qualities we were all born with. Perfecting selfish methods to get whatever self-serving gift we want, whilst life throws crap at us. Crap after crap after more crap that is

Realist – To learn how to speak, think, act and do a variety of tasks; guided by parents, leaders anpessd teachers who hope we will leave school as an independent and reliable ‘social skivvy’s/Capitalist servant’…

Jolly-ist – The wonder years…No responsibilities, our ‘free-est’ time, school days are the best days of your life etc. Childhood is when and where we see the world with beauty, innocence, laughter and love. And the world gives us beauty, innocence, laughter and love back (and a few lessons)

How about years 20 – 30?

Pessimist – 10 years of chasing love with all the wrong people, overcoming the addiction of dating monsters fopess 2r the drama addiction. Realising the true hell of working 40 hours a week in a job you despise. Learning that there are a very limited number of positions in society that allow true happiness to flourish. Destroy approx 50% of one’s brain cells, consuming copious amounts of drugs/alcohol and fags Read the rest of this entry

I Will Be Your Eyes Until You Can ‘See’ Everything…

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They sat in English class together, paying no attention to the teachers speech, nor to ‘Of Mice and Men’. They were gassing like their lives depended on it!

“What is blue like?” she askedblind

“Blue is running as fast as you can into the waves, it is diving head first into the rushing sea. Blue is freezing cold lips that come from a night out in the snow, or from sucking an ice lolly hard and fast.”

“White?”

“White is the colour of innocence. White is unusual, as it holds all the other colours within it, yet it is almost colorless in appearance. White is a newly fitted, pristine kitchen with a fridge, freezer, washing machine and dishwasher. White is cotton wool, and the grainy texture of the chalk they use for writing on a blackboard”

“Red? What is red like?”

“Red is a boiling hot camp fire on a winter’s night. Red is the colour of passion and of angst. Red is a racy looking lady on a saturday night up town. Red is all lips and kisses. Water is see through and blood is red. When you feel the slight thickness of blood against water, you feel red”

“What are you like?” she asked…smiling

“When I’m being categorised according to my skin colour, I am white, but not like the white I described. I am actually a peachy pinky beige if we’re gonna get a little detailed about it :)” Read the rest of this entry

‘Blessing My Blessings’…From Facts To Feeling,

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In the quest to cheer the fooook up before I keel over….I have, on numerous occasions, written lists of all my blessings and I have to say; I’m lucky to have a pretty long list. However, I don’t think a name/one word summary does many favours to covey the richness and depth of goodness, that some of the people and things on my list, bring to my life.

BlessingsThe trouble with lists :- When I read the list back to myself, I can’t help but feel like, the act of blessing the blessings’  (giving them the level of appreciation they deserve and hold), gets minimized and becomes almost mechanical. FEELING gratitude rather than NOTING gratitude, make for 2 very different states of mind

Sooooo, ramble ramble, the long and short of it is – I am going to try to capture the essence of the people and circumstances on my list, one at a time…I am going to savour slowly, all that I have, by really digging down into each separate person or place, noting their qualities, our experiences, our memories, and anything else that I associate with the people on my list

Read the rest of this entry

Getting Naked… Depression Is Her Skin

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What I never talk straight about

Depression!

Basically, my mental health has deteriorated to the point of complete ‘stoppage’ in all areas of my life. I’ve been living in my arm-chair for as long back as I can remember

Most days, I can’t even summon the will to bathe and brush my teeth

Sooooo…I’ve been fighting against the tide of my mental illnesses for nearly ten years and I’ve finally given up

Literally, physically, and psychologically…I’m fucked, tired, confused, astounded, grateful, defensive, paranoid, scared and my heart hurts

But this giving up thing only feels bad when I have an idea or a longing for something in my future, then I remind myself…’Dawn, you’ve given up, stop thinking about all that crap’ Read the rest of this entry

I’ll have a Diet Coke and a Dose of Leprosy (Please) :)

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Hey all you folks on the tinternet!

I have written just 3 or 4 posts in 6 whole months! I’ve missed it a lot, and I’ve noticed that the more often I write, the better I feel. Plus, I still have a weak spot for them orange stars on wordpress…they give me a mini lift ;). I was writing almost everyday for 1 or 2 years before this gargantuan hiatus hit me. I was so self-conscious (whole ‘nother story). I think the creative section of my brain went AWOL

Ideas flowed in and out of me…normallydrunk

I was always thinking, always linking the ‘facts of life’!!! together to illustrate how the puzzle is made real… because of our inter connected lives, in terms of experiences, thoughts and feelings, schooling, families, institutions, careers, friends and lovers etc. Our similarities are wide-reaching, and bigger (more meaningful) than our differences. I truly believe that…

Anyways!!!

This post was meant to just be about alcohol, so I’ll get on the topic right about now Read the rest of this entry

Medicated Memories…I’m Everything Without Contents!

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I’m angry without the anger

I care with flatlined clichéd pity

Without others I could slip by, abandoned

What is a soul without memories

***

In solace I know I’ve been stolen

Repressing all that makes me

Pushing away my spirited version of chatter

Sitting firmly on top of rusty springs

Bearing heavy….Heavy on the heart

*** Read the rest of this entry

Leave Everything, Leave Nothing? Leave History or Hell!

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IMAGINE…

The world was coming to an end

Were all given a time capsule, inside it is an a4 piece of paper and it readstime 1

As we all know, we are coming to the end of the world and there is nothing we can do to stop it now. However, we believe these capsules may survive the chemical explosion. One day a long long way in the future, someone may find yours. You have 200 words at your disposal

Think of all the languages we have, great teachings, beautiful works of art. The internet, books, movies, bibles, history…All gone Read the rest of this entry

When Insanity, Faith, Welfare, Ignorance and Bullying Collide…We call it Society!!!

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Insanity often brings with it, a deep and profound understanding of human nature and all its oddities…Unfortunately, the semi-sane sometimes lack the skills needed to understand other humans, but they try anyway

No-body is ever going to convince me that my friends and family are anything other than ‘fabulous and dedicated’…Paranoia came far later than their ‘wunderbar’ love.whats

I also think your friends and family are ‘fabulous and dedicated’ … Most people are

Read the rest of this entry

Steering Ships Am I Now?? All From The Confines of My Memory Foam

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As I pondered over my uber-shit sailing skills, I almost felt incompetent until I remembered never applying for the job 😉sailor 3

The Sea petrifies me, so I’m hopping off deck (soon)

A Sailor! As if !! (SCoff Scoff Scoff Old Chum)

(Ooops, missed some of that call, just heard Noah shouting star something??? I couldn’t hear him over the 2 tigers roaring)sailor 32

So, I spotted the nearest star and spun the ship rooooond towards it

As I notice 3,000 other stars with a quick whip of the neck, worry sets in

I panic, but then look down at my T-Shirt and see ‘Keep Calm and Go West’

The Co-ordinates and/or compass points are not my forte, so I listened to the team onboard instead, they were singing a 4 part harmony of the classic Welsh anthem ‘Newport’…The Welshie solo’d the line ‘concrete jungle where dreams are made of’ and I hollered

Follow that Green Peace Man to Starsailor

In that sweet moment, I’d realised my buried dream of being a sea-captain! But only if the boats swim sideways…Safety People!

A Philosopher’s Psyche…

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A philosopher is born, not educated

A philosopher searches because of the inner turmoil they feel from first breath to last

A philosopher’s natural state is often to rest in sadness

A philosopher teaches themself that everything is an illusionphilosopher

An honest philosopher will tell you ‘I don’t know’

A deluded philosopher will eventually implode, scattering infinite possibilities into the universe

A wise philosopher changes academic direction

A foolish philosopher drowns in their own open-mindedness, where the waves hold the infinite possibilities

A philosopher confirms nothing and questions everything

A philosopher was not destined for a life on earth

And takes an entire lifetime to find the warmth of home

Author – Unknown

My Vision for Improving Mental Health for Patients and Professionals Alike…

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I would be extrememly grateful for any opinions you have on this dear readers, as I want to take this to my NHS trust in the hope some of the ideas and viewpoints are viable… the goal being to improve service to patients, and to give professionals more confidence and room to utilise their unique ways of caring, leading to a higher sense of satisfaction for all involved.

Its a bit messy and not the finished draft, but pre-tweek, i’d soooooooo appreciate your views if you have some time to read it. Danke Danke 🙂

The number’s for the numbered points have disappeared in the copy and paste transfer…as have all the references! I’m sure we all know why, anyhoo, the main bones are here!

Good Doctors are never forgotten. Good practice changes lives. Poor practice can destroy them. 

   Anxiety, Mental Illness & Ethics for Change

 

Guidance to Treat Anxiety alongside other Mental Health Issues – For Primary & Secondary Care Workers

1.       The True Scale of Anxiety in ‘Mentally Ill Patients’

2.       Anxiety Kills!

3.       A Safe Place is Vital…

4.       The Things We All Feel When Were Mentally Unwell

5.       Simplify and Believe. When Will The Culture of Distrust Dissolve?

6.       The Questionnaire

7.       6 Ways to Nurture Hope…

8.       6 Things We Will Do For You (Immediately)

9.       6 Weeks Alone – Mind The Gap

10.   6 Steps to Great Care – Back to Basics…

11.  No More Double Standards – Say Goodbye To Stigma

 Guidance to Treat Anxiety alongside other Mental Health Issues – For Secondary Care Worker Read the rest of this entry

How to Change The World Forever! Press Print from The Armchair! :)

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The Day ‘Newling’ Changed The World – Dum Dum Duuuummmmmmmmm!

(click here to visit ‘the future’)money new 2

BRISTOL are the latest forward thinkers on ‘Printing their own currency’ (see link below) – With a little SIMPLIFICATION, One currency could be rolled out worldwide with relative ease

Please bear in mind that if you take away stock markets (which are just game playing with numbers on a large-scale) and also, erase the (IDEA) man-made invention called ‘THE ECONOMY’ – Money is worth the cost of the paper and the ink. TOTAL! The whole world trade system and the linking of currencies – are otherwise known as the 2 methods used to maintain the current (corrupted) way of doing things…FOREVER!

SIMPLIFIED Solution – Design and Print Money at home (The rich make up about 2% of the population). The other 98% are normal people, and most normal people live on or below the bread line. For success, the new money ‘goes live’ when most of the 98% know about it. It needs nationwide (and hopefully worldwide) uptake…making it clear to the rich and powerful, that they are seriously outnumbered (as the rich will resist, but only for so long)money newling

98% of the world population are broke! And 98% have the power to change their lives for the better FOREVER!

‘WAGES in Newling’ – I’m happy to set the bank/building society up, and if employers refuse to pay wages in ‘Newling’, I’ll print you off all the ‘Newling’ you need, until the 2% come round to the idea that they can’t win this one. Then Tesco will be giving you your change in ‘Newlings’ 🙂 Read the rest of this entry

I Want To Be A Tree!

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From seed to enlightment, I hope we’ll all be trees

English: tree                            A lifetimes worth of avenues, littered with coloured leaves

All that we do, make our rings

               All that we learn ring the rings, we get wider, sturdier

as our essence find solid Read the rest of this entry

The 333’s of 2013 – Borderlines, Love, Help of Hope, Therapy for a Life :)

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The 7th story in my little writing challenge for 2013. Each line must begin with a word that starts with the same letter as the last word on the line before it. 3 words in a line, 33 lines in ze story…

WHY? Cos I LOVE the number 3 🙂

……….

It’s been yearsseven 1

Years? How many?

Millions, or seven

So I re-touched

Reading your sheets

So much advice

All so relevant

Rivers away then

Theory, fantasy, wishfulseven 2

We did it!!!

I’m confused..What?

We fixed some

Simply by trying

Test me please!

Paul said NO Read the rest of this entry

Our Forever Changing ‘Shadow of Self’ – The Two Wolves

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Twice this week I have come across a quote you’ve probably all heard

“A fight is going on inside me,” said an old man to his son. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The samwolvese fight is going on inside you.”

The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, “Which wolf will win?” 

The old man replied simply, “The one you feed.”
Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

This got me thinking about a section from the book – ‘Conversations with God’…It basically said that due to the human need for duality (which is required in order to find meaning in this life) God is, and always has been ‘ALL OF IT’.

He (or Life) created on Earth a system including…good and bad, lies and truth, jowolves 3y and pain, morals and anarchy, gluttony and hunger, poverty and riches etc. He (or life) created these opposites so that we may know ourselves, and also re-define ourselves as we change and grow. We do this by relating our traits to the attributes of the 2 wolves

This got me thinking about our shadows

Read the rest of this entry