Because we are real when we are sad
Because it deepens the shallow and weakens the strong
Because it is where I often rest, and where there is rest, there is peace. Peace is not happiness per se’.
Because it is probably not your resting state…it is the opposite of normal for the majority of people. It is different and that which is different is always beautiful, even if that beauty remains hidden to most
Because it is the music and the melody of the ‘resting places’ on the journey to riches of the soul…Depth. Compassion. Insight. Empathy. Wisdom. Love. Forgiveness
Because it is a force of nature and a force for change Read the rest of this entry
I was 6 or 7 years old when my first addiction began, I used to get £1 for dinner money, and everyday my Mum would see me over the main road and wave goodbye; off I would trot to meet the two friends who I walked to school with.
The gap between her wave goodbye, and the knock on my friends front door, was the best part of my day
I remember the feeling of excitement as I rushed to the shop at the bottom of our estate, where I would buy 10 packets of ‘Cheesies’ and 10 packets of ‘Meanies’ (small bags of 5p crisps)
I don’t know how I knew that it needed to be a secret, but I knew it alright; I knew it intrinsically. So; I would eat ALL 20 packets in rapid time, and by the time I reached my friend’s house, I had consumed them all, and my secret was safe
By lunchtime, I was starving, every single day… and I knew that if I could stop buying the crisps, I’d be able to eat lunch with my friends. I regretted it everyday, whilst I watched everyone eating their lunch; but I didn’t stop…because I couldn’t stop, Read the rest of this entry
“I’m not crying”
Mrs Leaky, In all her glory!
“Yes you are, you’ve been crying for days”
“It’s not me”
“I have another personality you see”
“Meet tap…Leaking tap”
“I’ll get you a new washer”
“Don’t bother, they all snap with the pressure, we don’t install them anymore”
(“This little tap of mine, i’m gonna let it cry, let it cry, let it cry, let it crrrrry”!)
(62 words) (woops)
I finally cried for you
Don’t misunderstand me; I’ve cried for us before… I cried buckets; and I’ve cried for me…but until that night, I didn’t really see how it was for you.
An innocent song led to a not so innocent song… and it was as though someone had knocked down a gargantuan damn, and the memories of you just drowned me
If I knew where you lived or where you were sleeping right then, I’d have got in the car and knocked your door down, just so I could hold you and tell you how sorry I was
How sorry I am
I didn’t think there were any feelings left. I say your name a lot still, but I had no idea all this weight was hiding inside, along with your name
In my head… I re-played one of the songs I wrote for you and every sweet thing that resides in your soul, came back for me all at once.
When you came into my life, I was broken and I wasn’t ready for you. I was so far off of ready I couldn’t see straight. But I also couldn’t fight it, I was obsessed with you and until a few weeks ago, I’d totally wiped that from my memory.
How, I don’t know Read the rest of this entry