Tag Archives: strange sense of humour

When Mensa Take The Piss (part 2)

Standard

Clues

Hilary is playing sudoku in the green room

Edith has a budgie who swears like a navvy

Ron has severe amnesia, Julie is his carer, and just reminded him of their trip to the supermarket that morning

 

Fill in the blanks

fillRon has proposed to the budgie _ times

Hilary has two 9’s in one row. How much was the book to buy _

Does Edith use Wiltshire farm foods. If yes, how often? _

 

(Chortle Chortle :))

The Top Ten Sell – My Homepage is a Mess!

Standard

After many months off from blogging due to a severe case of writers block, I’m back in tut blogosphere and reading your entries galore as I sometimes do. But; each time I leave my little Gravatar trail with a like or comment, I know there’s a chance the recipient may come back and check out my page. Now here is the problem, I currently have a whole page of utter crap! Yes! All 10 posts on my homepage are either pointless drivvle or snippets of my strange sense of humour, which nobody but me needs. There’s not a point in sight, much less an actual topic, and at least 50%  of the entries don’t even really make sensecrap

I guess it’s not helped by the fact that my blogging is soooo varied, a ‘anything goes’ mentality does allow me to, shall we say experiment. Which is what led me here

My current 10 are truly piss poor and all I can do is hope for a star or two to quell the sadness within (Oh the drama)… as X amount of bloggers stop by, think ‘what the foooook’ is this woman on about, and leave promptly…

Do you ever look at your page and think, God I hope no-one visits today, I’ve written half a foot of toot (rubbish)? A bit like when someone knocks at your door and the house is trashed, its like that

I might have to search for something useful that I’ve written and re-blog the bugger to break it up – the ocean of crap that is. Until then, my writers block continues, therefore, my crap is staying visible for the forseeable future so I better get used to it. Right, enough of this talking to yourself. I better post some more pointless crap 🙂 And here it is!

*sobs*

It could be worse, you could be Littlebeut333! ;)

Video

I am a disgrace to the following :-

Will Power

Saving Money

Studying

Not Blogging

Visiting my Parents

Writing

Humour

Social Graces

AND

The gods of – Getting out of bed-us before noon-us, even with multiple alarm-ussssssss!

Soooooooo if you’re feeling poooey, after reading this you should feel marginally better about yourself!

Although you should know, I have great shoes…GREAT SHOES; and they are probably better than yours

Apart from that, I am back to being disgraceful – all over town, relish in my inadequacy people, and there is no need to thank me!

You Are Welcome 😉

Forward Thinking Technology – My Ass!

Video

Television remote control

Please take a trip down memory lane with me… back to the days of videos/ VHS’s and VCR players.

Do you remember putting a video into its house? If not, let me remind you what used to happen…you pushed the VHS into the slot and before you had a chance to do anything, it would automatically start playing the film. You had to press stop at least twice, before the player took any notice of you whatsoever.

Once the video had stopped, you were able to press re-wind (how inconvenient it used to be, if you forgot to rewind the film the last time you watched it)

Then along came DVD’s… and everyone was chuffed to bits with the idea that they didn’t need to rewind anymore.

All that time saved? (My ass ;))

Maybe it would have been a great idea, if it wasn’t for some imbecile in the design office, who clearly had some kind of fetish for the play button!

The very first time I place a shiny round DVD into its player, it didn’t launch into the film like the joyous VHS. Instead, in front of my eyes were the words

Play and play or play and play… Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 13 – It’s my alter ego, silly!

Video

“I’m not crying”

Water dropping from a tap.

Mrs Leaky, In all her glory!

   “Yes you are, you’ve been crying for days”

  

“It’s not me”

   “I have another personality you see”

   “Meet tap…Leaking tap”

“I’ll get you a new washer”

“Don’t bother, they all snap with the pressure, we don’t install them anymore”

(“This little tap of mine, i’m gonna let it cry, let it cry, let it cry, let it crrrrry”!)

(62 words) (woops)

‘Psychosis is a necessity; for the emotional development of certain people’?(Moi, 2012)

Status

Love, Life and Feelings

I think it would be a fair generalisation to say that : – People who suffer from periods of psychosis, tend to be thinkers. Not just in bouts of insanity; but all the time…

I’ve just mind meandered onto this odd theory/definition of psychosis…

‘Psychosis is a necessity; for the emotional development of certain people’ 😉 (Moi, 2012)

Thinkers can fall into the trap of over thinking and under feeling. If you’re a thinker, you’re likely a problem solver… and before you know it, you’ve totally lost touch with your feelings because you’ve rationalised the shit out of; not feeling anything

But when delusions loom, in my experience…they are always intrinsically linked to 3 things

Fear/Terror

Shame

Pain

For me at least, these 3 categories cover everything that I choose not to dwell on as a thinker. Everything I don’t want to feel sits under these umbrellas… Read the rest of this entry

Short Number 10 – The Student got a… ‘Ology’!… Really? How un-apt! ;)

Standard

English: LCF short course business student

4,724th Essay

Caressed in a Fortress

Obsessed, Suppressed, Distressed, Blessed, Depressed

Confessed…

Stressed, Countless, Boundless, Fearless, Princess

3 years on, she was…An essayed out mess

At the end

They said she got a something… ‘ology’!; I think

Psy? or Bi?… I think

I thought she clearly deserved an ‘essed’!

Minimum

Just my opinion…;)

(50 words)

I avoided Motherhood, so Ms Karma sent me a ‘Rebel Ball’ instead ;/

Standard

Red Ball Express (film)

From the archives of my mind

Back in the days…

I was a naughty, rebellious, authority despising, horrible little child. So I figured (early in life), if I re-produced, it would be a bad move. I thought Ms Karma would send me a child, ten times naughtier. But because Ms Karma is clever, my avoidance of the pain of ‘owning a rebel’; was over-ridden! She simply gave me a ‘Rebel Ball’ instead; for this lesson…and probably also as some kind of justice for my poor Mother :0

My RED bouncing ball…Do you own one too?

For each emotion I have a WHITE ball, a really bouncy one, and note… it bounces vertically only. The top to bottom of a bounce, covers a fair distance but I’m adjusted to this, and some bounces are fabulous, which makes their EXTENT both a blessing and a curse. Read the rest of this entry

When ‘Spam turns Glam’… (Bilge Alert)

Video

SPAM! [don't buy]

What can I say? (Except shame on me, and perhaps, sorry… to the publish button?)

In response to my post entitled ‘The Circle of Life rolls round AGAIN!’…I received this ‘gem’ of a comment. As spam goes, I thought it was pretty exceptional, in terms of its ‘chuckle value’. And what else can I say??? Except, the chuckles were sooooo long-lasting, they fuelled my desire, to reply to ‘Bigga the Bot’. You must read his comment slowly, in order to gain maximum value and understanding, from my response ;)….

Bigga’s Gem…

“I as well as our men was digesting the fantastic tips seen on internet weblog and each of an abrupt I obtained a terrible mistrust I had not depicted admiration for your requirements for anyone techniques. My personal people appeared to be entirely pleased to see these individuals and still have in place essentially been recently using those ideas. Appreciate your simply being basically very helpful and then for having one of these type of remarkable recommendations an incredible number of everyone is really desirous to learn about. Your truthful sorry for not revealing admiration in order to earlier”

My Response

Really? What? You, AND all your men were reading my page?

Ohhhh luv, that terrible mistrust sounds awful…I feel for you, I do… Read the rest of this entry