Tag Archives: Valentines day

Dear Funny Valentine…

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The Question Is What Is the Question?

Why gone so soon?

I still can’t believe you’re gone

As yet, it hasn’t got any easier; everyone tells you you’ll get better in time. Time apparently heals

So far though, over time, I think the sadness ebbs inwards, a little more each day

Every time I hear someone say they knew it was coming, or that it was no shock. I feel just as shocked as I did when the news was brand new. I listen to you every day and the uplifting effect you have, has become something indescribable with loss as company

Grief is normally selfish; we cannot cope with the hole that’s left. But with you, I am shattered when it crosses my mind that you will never be a mum. Shattered at the thought that you won’t get to share your divine talent until your vocal chords died of old age.

How your family and friends will ever even begin to step across the valley that formed in front of them, the moment you passed, I will never know. They are fighting the good fight in your name, but their eyes are just shot,

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Ten MUST Do’s/Dont’s on Valentines Day, for “Single Ladies”

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Golden Virginia Hand Rolling Tobacco

Reg and his sweaty roll up; are waiting for youuuuuu!!!

The Rules…

However many items come through the letterbox today, they all count as cards, so DO tell your friends you got 2-7 cards. (With today’s junk mail levels, you’re pretty much guaranteed 2, minimum)

DO NOT shave your legs and if possible, you will have abstained from shaving for long enough to tong your leg hairs into beautiful ringlets!

DO eat something enormously calorific, I’m gonna slam an Indian for 2 whole people, right down me.

DO fondly remember all the past Valentines that you spent with your ex’s, with a symbolic flick of the V’s!

DO spend at least £23 on yourself today; because if you were one of the unlucky few that left it until 6pm on the 13th to buy your other half a card, that is how much you would have paid for said card in Clinton’s!!! (Daylight bastard robbery)

Send everyone you love a text, your mum, smelly grand-dads, best friends, your great uncle twice removed if you’re struggling for contacts (they won’t reply cos they are having sex, but you will have to take note of the abundance of love you have in your life) Read the rest of this entry