Blog Archives

You Said There is Something Beautiful About Sadness…Why?

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Because we are real when we are sad             sadness

Because it deepens the shallow and weakens the strong

Because it is where I often rest, and where there is rest, there is peace. Peace is not happiness per se’.

Because it is probably not your resting state…it is the opposite of normal for the majority of people. It is different and that which is different is always beautiful, even if that beauty remains hidden to most

Because it is the music and the melody of the ‘resting places’ on the journey to riches of the soul…Depth. Compassion. Insight. Empathy. Wisdom. Love. Forgiveness

Because it is a force of nature and a force for change Read the rest of this entry

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Cuteness Overload, Not To Mention His Cheek!!! ;)

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Here is a video of one of my amazing pussy cats (Mr Shamone) helping himself to my cup of tea! His paw action may well be the cutest thing I’ve seen this decade!

Don’t miss the little treasure!

How bloody cute is my thirsty little fella?

As I state in the video…Them boys could get away with blue murder! 🙂

Getting Naked… Depression Is Her Skin

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What I never talk straight about

Depression!

Basically, my mental health has deteriorated to the point of complete ‘stoppage’ in all areas of my life. I’ve been living in my arm-chair for as long back as I can remember

Most days, I can’t even summon the will to bathe and brush my teeth

Sooooo…I’ve been fighting against the tide of my mental illnesses for nearly ten years and I’ve finally given up

Literally, physically, and psychologically…I’m fucked, tired, confused, astounded, grateful, defensive, paranoid, scared and my heart hurts

But this giving up thing only feels bad when I have an idea or a longing for something in my future, then I remind myself…’Dawn, you’ve given up, stop thinking about all that crap’ Read the rest of this entry

Lent/Musical Extravaganza Update :)

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Welcome to DJ Dawny’s Lent-Ville..Please feel free to spend the next 21 or so minutes, singing this bundle of musical wonder, direct to God himself

As planned, I have been doing my best to sing to God since the 13th. I am known for singing quite terribly (on purpose) when I’m alone, so I may well be making the Lords ears bleed :)… but I’m hoping his heart is singing with me, in spite of the plethora of bum notes that leak from within the depths of my strange old soul 🙂

Here are the 7 songs I’ve chosen since day 1

Your Song – Elton John

Joyful Joyful – The Sister Act 2 rendition

Read the rest of this entry

After I was Broken, I Learnt About Before…

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Before I judge, I try to really look

Before I see, I remember the manuscript was longer than the book

Before I decide, I ask myself what makes me an expert

Before I classify, I realise complexity makes a recipe for a convert

Before I write you off, I remember how painful life can be

Before I label, I know that no-one understands you like He

Before anything, I know there is context, circumstance, reason and feeling

Before lectures, I try wondering how you might be reeling

Before damnation, I ask myself why you could be lying

Before giving up on you, I realise when you’re lying, you’re not crying Read the rest of this entry

Bin The Labels…and Please Make Way For The Connections

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If I ruled the world, I would begin by eradicating labels from society…ALL of them (almost)

There would be no – Black, White, British, Spanish, Old, Young, Liberal, Conservative, Sociopath, Bi Polar, Cancer, Farmer, Waitress, Unemployed, Married, Single, Disabled, labels 1Blind, Forgiving, Vengeful, Kind, Generous, Sweet, Cruel, Upper Class, Learning Difficulties, Healthy, Sick, Damaged, Fixed etc

When I studied sociology, I learnt about the importance of labels. I was taught that when a new label was introduced to mainstream language, it was a reflection of a ‘groups’ needs being recognised.labels

I was also taught that when a new label replaces an old one, such as the change from ‘Spastic‘ in the 80’s; to ‘A person with Learning Difficulties‘ in the 2000’s; the change is a reflection of a group trying to shed the stigma of being attached to a label that is mocked/ridiculed/mistreated/misunderstood/considered lesser

Sociology aside, life has taught me more about labels than any academic theory ever could. Read the rest of this entry

For My Mum…

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‘Let me inside you, into your room, I’ve heard its lined with the things you don’t show’

These lyrics call to mind my Mum. Her humility and her selflessness, driven by a pure heart and good intentions for everyone else. Her troubles always take a back seat in the dark, for the good of her family

The universe is eternal right? Then she will still be my mother when everything’s gone, she will always carry on because this world will always need Mothers like mine – To shine. She could never be forgotten, as the song gracefully paints

She is not perfect and neither are ‘we’, but the love and the bond between a child and their mother, is to me at least, one of the most perfect things ever to come from all that life offers…

Another Book Intro. I’m not so sharp at Ending. Oh well…Practice makes Perfect (Or Practice makes Completion even…that would be Nice) :)

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Chapter 1

Self preservation really is an inbuilt instinct after all…

It’s wasn’t until poor Sarah was out of the metaphorical fire, that she began to see more than just the tip of the dagger, just past the end of her nose.

6 months later, she had side swiped all the weapons and embraced the ‘fluffy-ness of life’ with all of her might; and as expected by those who knew her better than she knew herself, she was 110 percent ready for her 1st presentation

She could see by the look in her God Mothers eyes that she had disappointed her again, but she couldn’t let the pain of that knowledge overcome her willingness to talk to them

She had promised, and she felt that it was the least she should do

Just before she began her address to the many nervous sets of eyes in the dusty old room, she looked once more at her God Mother, Olivia. Sweet caring Olivia…The feeling of guilt and the reflection of her shame protruded once more; then slipped away as though they had never arrived, to be replaced by joy, so quickly that the feeling felt like an intrusion. A welcome intrusion at that, because it was the feeling she associated with rebellion. Be it the harmless sort, right through to, the utterly potent type

No-one was more shocked by this transformation of feelings, than Sarah herself. Read the rest of this entry

Sod is My Middle Name! ;)

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Sod (the 1st) has always been a memorable and talked about public figure, throughout many era’ssods law 5 and periods

His logic and fixed truths have remained both popular and unchanged; even through times of great social unrest and modernisation.

As a prolific law-maker, who focused on ‘mysterious and ironic saga’s’…his name is often mentioned when strange and unfortunate events occur

Examples of his early work include :-sods law 7

– The Odd Sock Phenomena/More Phantom Objects (are) Disappearing ‘Act’ of 1453 (bc)

– Torrential rain for 7 days, in an entire year, but coinciding with your 7 day holiday at the ‘normally sunny EVERYDAY location’

– Over-sleeping for the 1st time ever, and waking to find a coach full of hungry OAP’s, herding around the main entrance to your Public House. Which should have been open for business…10 minutes before…

Sod, Me, Hearts and Minds Read the rest of this entry

Spooky Fag Related Mini Miracle…

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A while ago, I wrote a post about addiction, and I touched upon my own struggles with a plethora of activities and substances

Addictive Genes and Sad Souls…Do we inherit sadness?

NOW! Smoking cigarettes has always been one addiction that I had no intention of giving up. As many smokers will tell you, it is such a powerful attachment that it entwines itself with the essence of your identity. Yes; it is part of ‘who I am’… rather than a part of ‘what I do’addict 1

I always figured that I’d try to kick every other addiction, and smoking would be the one ‘fix’ that would stay for a lifetime…I was a self-confessed lover of smoking, and there was no guilt attached to this need, unlike the other buggers

ANYHOO

Back to the post on addiction…I recieved a comment saying that my addictions (being so severe) were something only God and The Angels could fix. So, in amongst my prayers, I prayed for healing – re my addictive nature…

I don’t know if you can relate to this, but occasionally I have a thought pop into my head and I somehow know that it didn’t come from anywhere inside of me. Read the rest of this entry

The Xmas Present of The Century!!!

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Santa was very kind to me this year!steam

As tragic as this may be – my most favourite gift was a VAX steam cleaner!

The thing is tooooooo cool for words

To say my house was a bit dusty…pre xmas, would be the understatement of the century

I finally gained enough energy to blitz the flat of all surface debris

And then; I spent a bliss-filled hour blasting the living life out of every shelf, fake plant and ornament in sight – with my trusty jet of ‘red hot magic steamy dust killing power’

We age, we change, we fall in love with household cleaners and subsequently; we become the opposite to ‘street’ (wise…)

And finally, when we openly discuss the joys of steamy jets on our posts…We officially become ‘tragic’ in tut Bloggus-Sphere toooooo!

I care not for the judgements 😉steam 1

One day, the young and uber cool will gasp with delight…over a household cleaning product, born of their era.

All in good time…all in good time my youthful friends!

God Bless you VAX!

I is ‘Past it and Proud’ 😉

There’s Nowt as Grand as Laughter! Thankyou Brittany

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I’ve had a rather emotional couple of hours tonight; at one point I was feeling ‘bloody lost and miserable’ on an epic scale…Po Bilar Mood Swing? Probably, maybe, who knows?…

ANYHOOlaughter 1

I discovered a blog called ‘Creativity Arise’

Just like magic, I read quite possibly, (no actually… definitely) one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard

In a post about the end of the world (http://creativityarise.com/2012/12/20/the-world-is-coming-to-an-end/)

Brittany mused…

“Why in the ham sandwich are we listening to the Mayans anyway?”

“WHY IN THE HAM SANDWICH?”

Comedy GOLD! I am still laughing now, hours later

THANK-YOU Brittany for snapping me right out of morose town in a mere second, with your absolute classic!

I fully intend to remind myself of this phrase everyday from now til’ death!

Tickled…Pink 🙂

Just Breathe…

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Fear and pain cause us to build a fortress around ourselves, one thick enough to withstand nuclear attacks to the mind, body and soulfear

Reality teaches us all about the limitations of fear

And ends the lesson with a reminder that scary things exist

But does it do us any good? Trying to avoid fearful situations?

The soul knows the answer to this…

The soul knows love, life, peace and freedom. It has no room or purpose for fear, other than as a reminder to be brave

Fear stops me breathing, over and over again Read the rest of this entry

Oh My Gaaaaawd! An Actual Award :) Thank-you Millions!…

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Thanks to 3 truly fabulous blogger’s – Tracy, Harula and Joe…I have been nominated for 2 awards

Very Inspiring Bloggerblog-award 1Blog of the Year Award 1 star jpeg

And

Blog of The Year 2012 (See below for the link to the rules bit :))

shocked

I’m proper humbled, chuffed, honoured and surprised, all in equal measure.

Especially as I really love and appreciate their blogs and their writing talents. Please check out their ‘magic snippets’ at the following links

Tracy – http://fecthis.wordpress.com/

Harula – http://wordsthatserve.wordpress.com/

Joe – http://iamforchange.wordpress.com/

The rules for VIB require you to list 7 random things about yourself. However, Harula decided to list 7 things that inspire her instead. http://wordsthatserve.wordpress.com/2012/12/03/inspiration/

I’ve chosen to do the same…seven

1. I’m inspired by community. I believe that it’s a basic fundamental need of most people to be part of a community. The blogs I have nominated for both awards provide a safe, warm, kind and loving ‘giant word bath’…and I jump into it whenever possible

2. I’m inspired by forgiveness. We all have old wounds that were once painful but when we forgive, we lift a weight off of our shoulders, and grow at the same time

3. I’m inspired by people who share their stories. Being a bit of a fluid lady, I am often enlightened and altered through reading the wisdom of others. I read many blogs that are based on recovering from addiction and/or mental illness; these bloggers take the time and effort to pass on their experiences and in doing so, they change lives Read the rest of this entry

A Quick Apology re My Tardy Upside Down Ass Self

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Dear Lovely Peeps of tut Bloggus-Sphere!slow

I need to make a quick apology to all you sweet and kind people, who have left comments on various posts over the last few weeks

What can I say except – I need an admin related boot up the ass 🙂

I started replying to comments in reverse order, and then I switched tactics and began with the newest one’s, and somewhere along the line, my replies appeared everywhere…all dotted in between yours, and I kinda lost the plotslow 1!

Sooooo….I just wanted to say THANK-YOU muchly. I really appreciate your thoughts on my spillages. They have picked me up when I was down, encouraged me to spill when I was dry, warmed my cockles; made me all mooshy at points…humbled me and surprised me too. Sorry that by the time I reply, you may well have forgotten ever leaving a little note in the first place :0

I’m getting on it, pronto-ish! 😉slow 2

Yours Truly

Grateful Blogger/Admin Abomination

Littlebeut333

Virtual Snow! Smooth :)

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I would like to thank the IT genius’, who bob around in the background doing their ‘thang’ on WordPress

The fact that it is snowing on my stats page, is to me, an ‘ickle miracle!

How cute and marvellous in equal measure!

Let it snow Let it snow Let it snow 🙂

Merry Xmas dear dwellers of tut Bloggusphere

Read the rest of this entry

Gone Too Soon! 3 Legends in 3 Years

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Whitney – How could anybody not be transfixed by such talent and beauty. Truly a face and a voice you could get lost in forever. A pitch perfect picture perfect princess! Whitney dragged me through childhood and adolescence and out to the other side.

Michael Jackson – Another deep musical love of mine that developed in my teens. And this performance, in my opinion, is MJ at his best. The expression on his face when he is singing the last-minute; captures his magic, his talent and his passion in its entirety. It often brings me to tears; and it moves me to my very core… Read the rest of this entry

My 3 Irreplaceable Items…Island Life and Death! ;)

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Someone once told me that you can learn an enormous amount about a person’s nature, if you play this little Q) and A) game

You’re stranded on a desert island, and you will be stuck there for a few months (minimum)

What 3 things would you take with you and why?

1) A Nivea lip balm. Mainly because, once you apply the stuff for more than a week, your body stops making ‘lip grease’ (non scientific explanation). I once believed that the body would figure out – that the moisturising effect was coming from outside of me…apparently not. On a dry day, you’re looking at a maximum comfort period of 15 minutes, before they and I begin to crack. My best friend now buys a bulk box of 28 at a time for me (bless him) as he got sick to death of the ‘lip-arama’ that flowed from me, every time I lost 1. I now have 5 in my handbag at all times in case of emergency 😉 Read the rest of this entry

The Hidden Joys of Pigeons…The Apparent ‘Scum’ of the Bird World ;)

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When I was young I used to be scared of Pigeons, maybe because a family member who will remain nameless (;0)… scattered bird seeds onto the top of my head in the middle of Trafalgar Square; where half of the world’s pigeons ‘hang out’, and my skull got pecked to buggery by about 15 of the swine’s!

English: London: Trafalgar square, pigeons Pig...

English: London: Trafalgar square

Anyhoo, now that I’m a big girl, I’m kinda in love with birds, and in particular…Pigeons

Here’s why

1. I love the way they shoot their heads back and forth (horizontal like) when they walk around

2. When I look at the skinny-ness of their legs, I’m baffled at the miracle that is –

‘A pigeon walking’…

How those little sticks support the weight of their well rounded selves, I just don’t know!

3. Their beady little eyes come in 3rd

And that is pretty much it…Not a lot to go on, but these 3 little things make me love them. I often stop in the street to watch in wonderment, if I see one strutting his/her stuff! Check out this little chap in action, and next time you’re in need of witnessing a miracle…Remember to look at those matchstick legs and the rules of physics and mass! They defy all logic, which renders their ability to walk, firmly in the ‘magical and miraculous’ arena of life

Just a thought – Maybe their legs are prone to successfully holding them up, because they are knee-less!

Enjoy

Upon further inspection, it looks like they have knees in their upper thighs! Go Figure 😉

You are…

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You are the only one who makes me want to go back in time

You are the one who made our life a fairytale

You are the one I feared losing most

You are the one who came at the worst possible time

You are the one who deserved every single thing I ever gave to anyone else

You are the one I cannot remember without trying to forget how much I loved you Read the rest of this entry