I Will Be Your Eyes Until You Can ‘See’ Everything…

They sat in English class together, paying no attention to the teachers speech, nor to ‘Of Mice and Men’. They were gassing like their lives depended on it!

“What is blue like?” she asked

“Blue is running as fast as you can into the waves, it is diving head first into the rushing sea. Blue is freezing cold lips that come from a night out in the snow, or from sucking an ice lolly hard and fast.”

“White?”

“White is the colour of innocence. White is unusual, as it holds all the other colours within it, yet it is almost colorless in appearance. White is a newly fitted, pristine kitchen with a fridge, freezer, washing machine and dishwasher. White is cotton wool, and the grainy texture of the chalk they use for writing on a blackboard”

“Red? What is red like?”

“Red is a boiling hot camp fire on a winter’s night. Red is the colour of passion and of angst. Red is a racy looking lady on a saturday night up town. Red is all lips and kisses. Water is see through and blood is red. When you feel the slight thickness of blood against water, you feel red”

“What are you like?” she asked…smiling

“When I’m being categorised according to my skin colour, I am white, but not like the white I described. I am actually a peachy pinky beige if we’re gonna get a little detailed about it :)”

You!!! Wonderful Awesome Life Transforming You…You!!!

You are wise and loving, gentle and tender

You took my will, and said “I will bend her”

You turned me into a blade of grass

Pushed that through concrete to prove I can last

Not for the purpose of others, no matter who

This journey has been about just me and You

My best friend, my beloved, my forever protector

Illuminating wisdom on our virtual projector

Leading me or leaving me up front, balanced to perfection

Sometimes you took the blow first, softened the rejection

A Spiritual Attitude to This Crazy Thing We Call Life

Spirituality is one of those words associated with sooooo many different ideas right?..The familiar ones include the practice of meditation, prayer, and surrounding one’s self with nature…On I could go

My Dad is a really spiritual guy so I grew up with more of an idea than most, as to what spirituality means; but my relationship with it was transformed when I felt and experienced a delivery of love into my heart. Truly life changing love…God’s Love

My Spiritual attitude is ever evolving; as I grow I’m sure it will continue to change well into the future. This is where I’m currently at in my outlooks and ideas about what everyday spirituality means for me

1. My mentality (to a large extent) is ‘Live and let live’…Basically, I believe we are all on our own paths, and only God and I know me, and the same goes for everyone else…Only God and you know you.  You are the only one who can influence your path. It is not up to me to interfere with the spiritual journey of another, unless invited

2. I am learning to tell the truth when I most want to lie. This helps me to show those around me who I am, even though I bloody despise doing this when my self-expression is negative. But, when I do it, I honor my own worth and boundaries, not to mention my dysfunctional idiosyncracies (love thyself, poop bits included)

3. I proper try (and often succeed) in being non-judgemental (Again, my Dad talked about this a lot when we were little)

When Insanity, Faith, Welfare, Ignorance and Bullying Collide…We call it Society!!!

Insanity often brings with it, a deep and profound understanding of human nature and all its oddities…Unfortunately, the semi-sane sometimes lack the skills needed to understand other humans, but they try anyway

No-body is ever going to convince me that my friends and family are anything other than ‘fabulous and dedicated’…Paranoia came far later than their ‘wunderbar’ love.

I also think your friends and family are ‘fabulous and dedicated’ … Most people are

If I was a Car!

I would be too big at the back

I would have inconsistent and inexplicable oil needs

Prone to breakdowns during short haul journeys

My battery would be flat often, for no fathomable reason

Every MOT would be filled with never before seen malfunctions

I would accelerate prematurely (formula one styleeee) with ba mere tap on the gas pedal

Steering Ships Am I Now?? All From The Confines of My Memory Foam

As I pondered over my uber-shit sailing skills, I almost felt incompetent until I remembered never applying for the job 😉

The Sea petrifies me, so I’m hopping off deck (soon)

A Sailor! As if !! (SCoff Scoff Scoff Old Chum)

(Ooops, missed some of that call, just heard Noah shouting star something??? I couldn’t hear him over the 2 tigers roaring)

So, I spotted the nearest star and spun the ship rooooond towards it

As I notice 3,000 other stars with a quick whip of the neck, worry sets in

I panic, but then look down at my T-Shirt and see ‘Keep Calm and Go West’

The Co-ordinates and/or compass points are not my forte, so I listened to the team onboard instead, they were singing a 4 part harmony of the classic Welsh anthem ‘Newport’…The Welshie solo’d the line ‘concrete jungle where dreams are made of’ and I hollered

Follow that Green Peace Man to Star

In that sweet moment, I’d realised my buried dream of being a sea-captain! But only if the boats swim sideways…Safety People!

From Rock, To Wi-Fi, To Heat Waves, Voiles and Snoring! OR A Selection of Bilge :)

Christ Alive! And Seriously ;/

I know that walls aren’t what they once were

As in; they used to be a foot thick…

Which was dandy!

However, these big old walls could have changed the future forever (See broken woman to the right)

Nowadays, they are in competition with walls as thick as ice cream wafers…disguised as brick

Soon, the new housing estates will look like they are situated in the centre of a desert in the Middle East (peak of summer). The strange swirling mist that comes from heat waves, will distort the walls and the owners will put it down to the 45 degree heat…

Until…

Winter arrives; the dwellers become alarmed to see the walls still slopping around, with no heat swirls in sight, and many neighbours buying posh nets from the stall in the street

Because ‘Apparently they keep the heat in’

Seriously, I can hear the man snoring loud as a bleeding train, and he lives in a whole ‘nother house!!!!!!!!

At least it was only 169 words of tripe

A Great Philosopher Once Wrote…A Poem

A poem begins with a painful emotion

Always and Forever

A poem tells a story, but the words present themselves a new in prose

Always and Forever

A poet is a soul who is torn and lost

Always and Forever

Poetry adds invisibility and ambiguity to every word chosen

Always and Forever

A poem is inspired by two things…regret or pain

Always and Forever

My Vision for Improving Mental Health for Patients and Professionals Alike…

I would be extrememly grateful for any opinions you have on this dear readers, as I want to take this to my NHS trust in the hope some of the ideas and viewpoints are viable… the goal being to improve service to patients, and to give professionals more confidence and room to utilise their unique ways of caring, leading to a higher sense of satisfaction for all involved.

Its a bit messy and not the finished draft, but pre-tweek, i’d soooooooo appreciate your views if you have some time to read it. Danke Danke 🙂

The number’s for the numbered points have disappeared in the copy and paste transfer…as have all the references! I’m sure we all know why, anyhoo, the main bones are here!

Good Doctors are never forgotten. Good practice changes lives. Poor practice can destroy them. 

   Anxiety, Mental Illness & Ethics for Change

 

Guidance to Treat Anxiety alongside other Mental Health Issues – For Primary & Secondary Care Workers

1.       The True Scale of Anxiety in ‘Mentally Ill Patients’

2.       Anxiety Kills!

3.       A Safe Place is Vital…

4.       The Things We All Feel When Were Mentally Unwell

5.       Simplify and Believe. When Will The Culture of Distrust Dissolve?

6.       The Questionnaire

7.       6 Ways to Nurture Hope…

8.       6 Things We Will Do For You (Immediately)

9.       6 Weeks Alone – Mind The Gap

10.   6 Steps to Great Care – Back to Basics…

11.  No More Double Standards – Say Goodbye To Stigma

 Guidance to Treat Anxiety alongside other Mental Health Issues – For Secondary Care Worker

The 333’s of 2013 – Borderlines, Love, Help of Hope, Therapy for a Life :)

The 7th story in my little writing challenge for 2013. Each line must begin with a word that starts with the same letter as the last word on the line before it. 3 words in a line, 33 lines in ze story…

WHY? Cos I LOVE the number 3 🙂

……….

It’s been years

Years? How many?

Millions, or seven

So I re-touched

Reading your sheets

So much advice

All so relevant

Rivers away then

Theory, fantasy, wishful

We did it!!!

I’m confused..What?

We fixed some

Simply by trying

Test me please!

Paul said NO

Our Forever Changing ‘Shadow of Self’ – The Two Wolves

Twice this week I have come across a quote you’ve probably all heard

“A fight is going on inside me,” said an old man to his son. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you.”

The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, “Which wolf will win?” 

The old man replied simply, “The one you feed.”
― Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

This got me thinking about a section from the book – ‘Conversations with God’…It basically said that due to the human need for duality (which is required in order to find meaning in this life) God is, and always has been ‘ALL OF IT’.

He (or Life) created on Earth a system including…good and bad, lies and truth, joy and pain, morals and anarchy, gluttony and hunger, poverty and riches etc. He (or life) created these opposites so that we may know ourselves, and also re-define ourselves as we change and grow. We do this by relating our traits to the attributes of the 2 wolves

This got me thinking about our shadows

Mergence of Sarcasm and Magnificence = ‘Life’s Heady Heights’ @ Dawny’s

SUCCESS is wholly subjective 

When the theme tune for Jeremy Kyle tickles my ear drums, the rush of ‘feel good chemicals’ go wild in the aisles of my brain…and it is in joyful moments like these, when I feel most successful 🙂

When Meredith’s mother told her to be extraordinary; she didn’t mean an extraordinary surgeon, she meant an extraordinary person!

I wrote the following, when I had the ‘royal hump’ and it’s rather sarcastic and self (+ existence) deprecating! (AND also, sadly true :))

I decided this year was gonna be theeeee year of my life! (After year 33 went a little ‘tits up’ to say the least)

Chemically Induced Writers Block! (‘A Sucks)…

Chemically induced writers block

Creative juices live in brain socks

Bare feet tip toe around my grey matter

Producing a streamlined flow of chatter

Socks on the toes desensitize me

Socks off the toes sends my grey bits crazy

Quetiapine sucking my dopamine

Rinsing my brain like a grandiose spring clean

Leaving nothing like it was when it was old,

Sucking my emotions til cold

Chemically induced writers block

Stealing my stories, hidden in brain socks

The 333’s of 2013 – Ohhhhh Billy! Did you actually BOOK this Tripe? Love Lola :)

The 6th story in my little writing challenge for 2013. Each line must begin with a word that starts with the same letter as the last word on the line before it. 3 words in a line, 33 lines in ze story…

WHY? Cos I LOVE the number 3

……….

‘Carrot’s and Peas’

Pairs of people

Parched but watching

‘Wows’…echoed thanks

Theatre their love

‘Lola and Billy’

Boxed up high

He thought impressive

Inept thought Lola

Losing the plot

Oh What a Night! :0…

After pondering on a vast number of words and deleting them all

I have just one thing to say

THANKYOU LIFE and ALL that reside in it :)!

(Or maybe 2 or 3 things it seems)

I’m not so thankful for my highly sensitive ‘bits’, but they are there for a reason…

I laughed A LOT last night and it was BLOODY MARVELLOUS!

I plan on doing as much of that as possible, as soon as possible, for as long as possible

Patience is a virtue!

Fear is a foooking nuisance

Hurt is a habit

Faith is a life saver

Once again…THANKS A MILLION 🙂

Love Dawny Xxx

All the 333’s of 2013 – When Hate became History – The Last 2 Enemies

The 5th story in my little writing challenge for 2013. Each line must begin with a word that starts with the same letter as the last word on the line before it. 3 words in a line, 33 lines in ze story…

Life long enemies

Everybody knew it

Intuition. Stomachs knotted

Knowledge imbued viewers

Vicariously, they hated

Habitually people watched

Wanting a fight

Feigning concern or

Offering new ideas

—-

In the future

Fostering did work

In this World of White and Blue…Finally I see the Colour of You

Dear Lil,

As I lay here in this blue and white world, the smell of hospital disinfectant fills my nostrils and pinches the back of my throat. All I see are blue and white floors, and blue and white curtains, filled with blue and white soldiers flitting from here to there; they are all running around too quickly to stop and smile…As I eat another tasteless dinner, my ears cringe at the harsh sound of clashing trays being collected by the blue apron brigade

Then; in my mind’s eye, I’m arriving home after work…I see you turn around at the sound of my feet on the linoleum…You always had a smile for me, no matter what the day bought you personally. I never stopped to wonder why sometimes, it didn’t creep up into your eyes

There is much time to take stock of my surroundings in here, and it has been this lengthened time with my senses, that’s lead me back to you

As I lie down at night now, I think of all the mornings of my life, when I woke up to find your arms around me, and your cold toes tickling the soles of my feet

Lent/Musical Extravaganza Update :)

Welcome to DJ Dawny’s Lent-Ville..Please feel free to spend the next 21 or so minutes, singing this bundle of musical wonder, direct to God himself

As planned, I have been doing my best to sing to God since the 13th. I am known for singing quite terribly (on purpose) when I’m alone, so I may well be making the Lords ears bleed :)… but I’m hoping his heart is singing with me, in spite of the plethora of bum notes that leak from within the depths of my strange old soul 🙂

Here are the 7 songs I’ve chosen since day 1

Your Song – Elton John

Joyful Joyful – The Sister Act 2 rendition

After I was Broken, I Learnt About Before…

Before I judge, I try to really look

Before I see, I remember the manuscript was longer than the book

Before I decide, I ask myself what makes me an expert

Before I classify, I realise complexity makes a recipe for a convert

Before I write you off, I remember how painful life can be

Before I label, I know that no-one understands you like He

Before anything, I know there is context, circumstance, reason and feeling

Before lectures, I try wondering how you might be reeling

Before damnation, I ask myself why you could be lying

Before giving up on you, I realise when you’re lying, you’re not crying

Diarrhoea…Cucumber Lane and BODMAS! Watch out WORLD!!!! :)

It’s odd what we remember and what we forget don’t ya think?

Take your schooling, and I’m sure after 5 minutes of thinking about your memories of all those past lessons; you will see that the things you remember have very little to do with helpfulness or importance

My memory is particularly useless! So; I can recall about 3 facts from school, which is kinda dire when you consider the number of years we all spend there

One day my teacher read a letter to the class. It was from a Mother, describing why little Johnny was too ill to come to school

Johnny had a dose of diarrhoea and after 3 goes at spelling diarrhoea, all crossed out a bit like this

dierr

diaare

dyarr

The Mother gave up trying to spell it correctly, and under the scribbled out attempts, she wrote – ‘The Shits’ 🙂 Oh how this tickled me…