Our Forever Changing ‘Shadow of Self’ – The Two Wolves

Twice this week I have come across a quote you’ve probably all heard

“A fight is going on inside me,” said an old man to his son. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you.”

The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, “Which wolf will win?” 

The old man replied simply, “The one you feed.”
― Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

This got me thinking about a section from the book – ‘Conversations with God’…It basically said that due to the human need for duality (which is required in order to find meaning in this life) God is, and always has been ‘ALL OF IT’.

He (or Life) created on Earth a system including…good and bad, lies and truth, joy and pain, morals and anarchy, gluttony and hunger, poverty and riches etc. He (or life) created these opposites so that we may know ourselves, and also re-define ourselves as we change and grow. We do this by relating our traits to the attributes of the 2 wolves

This got me thinking about our shadows

Well I seem to be at a loss for a Title! ;) BILGE alert perhaps?…

I’ve tried my hand at many things

But a whimsical talented poet doesn’t lie within

However… sometimes, I give it a bash

Here’s what love did – to a pile of cosmic ash!

…..

(THEN)

I wish I knew the way

I wish I knew the route

I wish I knew the everything

But alas, it’s just my heartbeat and some boots

(THEN A BIT LATER)

Luckily for I

He collected me on His way through

He said if I respected my temple

I’d be able to do the DO

(THEN, A LITTLE BIT LATER)

Lent/Musical Extravaganza Update :)

Welcome to DJ Dawny’s Lent-Ville..Please feel free to spend the next 21 or so minutes, singing this bundle of musical wonder, direct to God himself

As planned, I have been doing my best to sing to God since the 13th. I am known for singing quite terribly (on purpose) when I’m alone, so I may well be making the Lords ears bleed :)… but I’m hoping his heart is singing with me, in spite of the plethora of bum notes that leak from within the depths of my strange old soul 🙂

Here are the 7 songs I’ve chosen since day 1

Your Song – Elton John

Joyful Joyful – The Sister Act 2 rendition

‘Lent Time’ – 40 days and 40 nights, 40 songs to Brighten LIFE!

Being the ignoramus I am, I’ve only just discovered its ‘Lent Time’!

OK Universe! I’m mid way through launching out a plethora of ‘body depleting’ activities and substances from my life; all of which began in the new year!

I think if I forced myself to eject anymore unhealthy wonders from my existence right now; I might perish and die!! 😉

Sooooo…This is what I’m gonna do for Lent

SWAP my thoughts FOR SONGS

I intend to try to sing my way through the day (In thought and sometimes, out loud) for the next 40 days. Each day, I will search through my song collection and choose a little beauty. One that I feel, reflects true love (and therefore, also God)

I thought it might also be a fab idea to pick songs that have some kind of connection to a happy memory. PURPOSE – Cheer up for God!

I read somewhere once, that the highest type of prayer is expressed in song…And if the song reminds me of something happy/sweet/treasured; then hopefully I will increase the amount of good vibes ebbing from my soul, and out into the big wide world. You never know, I might cheer up any lost or moody souls ‘tuned into my wavelength’…with my vocal cahoooning!

Spooky Fag Related Mini Miracle…

A while ago, I wrote a post about addiction, and I touched upon my own struggles with a plethora of activities and substances

Addictive Genes and Sad Souls…Do we inherit sadness?

NOW! Smoking cigarettes has always been one addiction that I had no intention of giving up. As many smokers will tell you, it is such a powerful attachment that it entwines itself with the essence of your identity. Yes; it is part of ‘who I am’… rather than a part of ‘what I do’

I always figured that I’d try to kick every other addiction, and smoking would be the one ‘fix’ that would stay for a lifetime…I was a self-confessed lover of smoking, and there was no guilt attached to this need, unlike the other buggers

ANYHOO

Back to the post on addiction…I recieved a comment saying that my addictions (being so severe) were something only God and The Angels could fix. So, in amongst my prayers, I prayed for healing – re my addictive nature…

I don’t know if you can relate to this, but occasionally I have a thought pop into my head and I somehow know that it didn’t come from anywhere inside of me.

A Stranger In My Psyche…

When you’re close, I feel the wonder of your joy

You and others say you never leave anyone alone

You are always ‘nowhere’ so you can be ‘now here’

Where ever that may be

So maybe it’s me that has travelled tonight

Unknowingly and unwillingly I have left your side

Like a child, I feel fragile when I can’t feel your hand in mine

Sometimes I don’t like my needs

Please heal my friend, an Angel of mine

Please scatter her sleep with dreams divine

Please infiltrate her pain with scenes sublime

Please trigger the memories that strengthen her spine

Please let her know she’s committed no crime

Please bring her your love through each wave, and all time

Please heal my friend…an angel of mine

Please open her heart and leave her eyes blind

Please give her your blinkers, allow her to hide

Please give her your arms when she breaks down and cries

Please fill her with peace when she just can’t abide

Star Dust to Awareness, Ego to Collective Consciousness! Magically Mind Bending Squit!

I watched this documentary the other night on stars AND IT WAS BLOODY AMAZING! So much so, that I’m considering dipping into BBC4 on a regular basis, even though the dry old ‘voice over’s’ sound like a bunch of stoned aristocrat’s; and whether male or female, they have a shockingly negative impact on my general well-being! (It doesn’t take much environmental stimuli, to send me over the royal edge ;))

Anyhoo, according to a plethora of clever people, we are made of star-dust or less romantically (I quote) – nuclear waste!

Apparently, there are 92 things in the entire universe and we’re all made of these 92 things. Everything on earth; stars, plants, animals, sea-life, humans, the ocean, other planets etc…

Humans however, have somehow popped out with rather more troubles than say – your average Yucca plant! How did we, as balls of matter made of exactly the same stuff as everything else, end up in this pickle we call reality?

How did we go from atoms/dust – to individuals who know they exist? Where did we collect our ego along the way? And what a bleeding disability to throw upon us (an ego), with mere space dust as the starting block of life.

Social Status, Success and Happiness – Love like a Lioness

When I was little, my Mum told me over and over that all she ever wanted me to be – was happy

I went through a phase of wishing that instead, she had told me she wanted me to chase my dreams.

Then I learnt some lessons, gained some knowledge, and experienced an awakening inside me…of ‘God’ and of ‘Spirituality’. It produced a feeling so far past perfection, there are no words to describe it, no words to do justice to the moment, no route out of it, or away from it. I sobbed tears of pure joy…This moment alone, made me what I am, and made my life somehow, already complete

If I go back a bit in time; I spent some years in the rat race, until illness took me out of it; and before I felt that feeling, I was struggling to keep up with the rest of the world, failing miserably and marching towards finishing my degree and getting a ‘good job’. Thinking I’d be happy if I could just get those 2 things ‘sorted’.

But; back to that feeling…It was love, unity, peace and maybe just maybe, it was a brief moment spent in the spandangly wonder that is the ‘One-ness’. For that moment, the upper level of the experience was perfection in its purest form…and the under current was a safe and warm message that ‘everything is OK’

Fishing for Faith…Found or Taught? Defines how deep you get Caught!

I may be wrong here but I’m gonna spout my opinion anyway :)… I think the way somebody finds faith in God (through teaching versus experience) makes a great difference in how much that faith impacts the life of the person who believes

I grew up being told that God exists, I went to church from age 5 ’til I was 13, and I can honestly say that it had little to no impact upon my belief system. I left the community with a ‘maybe he exists and maybe he doesn’t’ attitude.

I tried to read the bible and a couple of other books about God, and I never got further than the first couple of pages as they all had the same tone…’Worship me, I rock, there is no-one better than me, no-one else deserves your adoration more than me etc etc. Then within 4 pages I’d read some (unloving) comment about homosexuality or women, that began to heat my blood up… and the book got closed

Thanks to Neale Donald Walsh, the author of the ‘Conversations with God’ trilogy, I was finally able to read about God in a simplistic way that fitted with my previous beliefs; Because Book 1 is essentially a book about a ‘belief in love’…

You can’t really deny love exists (everywhere), unless you’re totally out of touch with reality.

Dear Church, I’ve sent you a little letter this week…Love God!

Whilst browsing WordPress today, I came across this great entry…

Courtesy of – muchmorethannear.wordpress.com

One part in particular (shown below in pink) caught my eye, so I’ve decided to join the gang of authors, with my own version of –

‘Gods latest letter to the church’

“I wonder what God might write in a letter to our church today? I recently asked our leadership team to prayerfully write such a letter and to pass them on to me without talking about their content with each other. My hope is that although they will inevitably reflect their human authors, their personalities and interests, that as I read them alongside each clear patterns might emerge as the Spirit speaks. I am a firm believer that all believers have access to God through the Spirit, and so I extend this challenge to you too.”

Click here to read the full article –

http://muchmorethannear.wordpress.com/2012/10/03/dear/

If you decide to do the same, pretty please direct me to your own letter’s, as I’d love to read them.

OK…Here goes my little love note

Dear sweet children of mine,

I am writing you this letter for many reasons, but I’ll start with my main point, which is of course…To tell you how much I love you

The title and shape of the church you stand in, makes no difference to our friendship. A church can be any place at all if you just call it a church. A field, a kitchen, a cathedral or a mosque. If you truly trust in me and my copious amounts of love, you will hopefully understand this point.

Short Number 34 – He moves in mysterious ways

I woke up that morning and prayed for a stress free day  

On the way to work I tripped on a drain cover, and smashed my two front teeth to bits

“So much for faith” – I lisped

  30 years later, the dentist who ‘capped me to rescue’ was at my bedside, as our   4th child was born

(56 words)

‘Beautiful & Tragic’ in equal measure…The Loss of Perfection

My best friend called me the other night and told me to listen to this song by Ed Sheeran…

In true Dawny style I forgot, and then he came round at the weekend, reminded me, and we listened to a few of his songs together, and I have to say…’He rocks’

I found this one (small bump) particularly moving ‘first take’, but I didn’t listen to it properly until I was alone

It is a story of him awaiting the birth of his baby, and the 2nd take left me more than a little heart-broken…their baby didn’t make it. I decided not to post it, incase anyone reading had suffered a miscarriage…I didn’t want to be responsible for triggering such a tragic and difficult memory in another.

However, miscarriage is a sad but certain part of life, and I have known people who have fought the battle of losing such perfection; they have somehow managed to move on from the loss of their baby, but I’m sure they are still reminded often of their treasured ‘small bump’… as they try to carry on living as best they can.

This song is the most beautiful expression of the experience that I’ve heard, so I decided in the end, I would post it. I think it’s important not to shy away from writing about painful and taboo subjects; sometimes reading about others who have gone through the same harrowing experience as you, brings comfort, and a sense of belonging and understanding

It is an exceptional song with a painful yet beautiful message…

Small Bump

Faith Hope and Glory do Lunch

Glory asked Faith what was up?

Faith said

“I’m so sick of being undermined, and it hurts that so many people think I’m fake”

Hope said to Faith

“Don’t let it get you down, things will get better soon”

Faith said to Glory

“Why are you so bloody cock sure about everything that’s great, why so positive?”

Glory said

“What do you expect? Life treats me very well, I’m celebrated and constantly in the lime light, and I guess it’s gone to my head”

Religion Complicates the Simplicity of Love! (With Hell)

Remove all the disagreements of individual religions – and your left with the existence of a ‘PURE Massivo incomprehensible dose of LOVE’

Love doesn’t categorise according to race, place, nature, sin, crime or evil. These things are subjective acts based on judgements that change with time; they all stand to the side of love

Love loves all our shapes, physical and mental

Love doesn’t have favorites

Love in its purest form is ‘Unconditional’. (FULL STOP)

Love doesn’t leave and then come back at a later date

Love has no choice about its boundaries

Love has no boundaries to choose from

More mildly insane pondering! With a wish or two thrown in…Why? Why not?!

Cat and Dog Cupcakes

The open-minded and the crazy, get it from all directions

Few dare to know the extent of their wisdom, only the fearless dare and that takes time

Few can be held to account for terrorising these people, and more than a few know it’s happening

Illness is one mighty huge get out of jail free card, for a plethora of morally superior folk whom I chuckle at for even believing on one tiny level that they are deluded enough to take a higher ground position, as they lead a war for nowt’ more than kicks and cash!

The trick is to know that those who think they know it all, are those that either fail to see the truly unexplainable

Or believe they are responsible for the unexplainable, even if the ‘how’ evades them at present

Short Number blah – And the hits just keep on coming!

We made her simple, she came out more complex than ever before!

The prep you left went from scary to funny

Yesterday we pressed on her steady triggers – unsteady =’d steady

The last dichotomy that works in opposition to the rest

As fear becomes less, love becomes more…

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Xxx

How Bloody Clever is Old Epic Pants Upstairs? VERY! ;)

Once upon a time people weren’t so disillusioned with life, and they believed in the soul as a fluffy section of each human being

They couldn’t see it, but they believed in it anyway, and some said, the human journey of each soul kept repeating and repeating its journey on earth as a human being, until each lad and lassy reached their purpose, that being, to create the ideal of it’s souls dreams, it’s souls job…

Then the soul became the sole, and people started stomping on the hearts of others and popping their clogs in their own ways, through sickness and disease and war and battles for power…

These wars existed in home, street, and country alike

So some clever clever people realised that the heart was leading the soul on a perverted journey, and everyone was sad and in pain

Do you find ‘Gems’ in manure, as well as in jewellery stores?

Image via Wikipedia

If you believe everything happens for a reason, you can always find a diamond in the manure.
If you believe there is a lesson to be learnt from every experience, you become wiser after both good and bad times.
If you believe that literally anything is possible; then sense, logic and reason can be found in almost all actions and happenings.
If you believe in even the POSSIBILITY of enlightenment as a reality, you have access to one of lifes routes to understanding… ‘IT ALL’.

If you believe everything happens cos life is life, there are no diamonds in manure, there are only diamonds in diamonds.