The Cat is Out Of The Bag :(

Any comments, details, information or advice would be much appreciated, given the dynamics

I can no longer blind my eyes to it everywhere I look, everywhere I listen, everything I read and all the double meaning chatter, is there for a reason, but is it truth or pretend plan a.b.c.d?

The reality that is constantly showing itself to me, is far too sick and shocking for a person to take

It is entirely possible that ‘the schizophrenic card’ is at work, but my gut tells me otherwise!

Can something so ugly really have been going on? Still going on?

Dear Old Friends of Mine, I’m ready to listen and I shall be slow and meticulous in the art of ‘discernment’

For the Babies who did not ask to be born

I guess not then… and Thank God it was a story, a sick one, but just a story it was, or maybe a daydream, or the description of someone’s nightmares

 

Dear Psychosis…I’ll have my songs back now!!! Thank-you Please!

I shan’t dwell on the hell of last year, courtesy of a whopping dose of psychotic insanity (I call her/it ‘Ms Psychosis’)…except to tell you that when she comes at you in full force, she steals all of your previous links to memories old and new; and ‘shats’ all over them with her own scary and wholly negative version, of fowl smelling poop!

She leaves no stone unturned, no niche untouched… and Ms Psychosis done a sterling job of turning all 506 songs on my iPod, into 506 poxy triggers.

Sooooooo; I’ve decided that I don’t want her infecting my playlists anymore. And I’ve told her she is on the way to being phased right outta town

The triggers don’t just disappear unfortunately, you have to boot them out with gusto, over a period of time

So, when the song begins, it now gets 5 seconds to be a sign of insidious evil squit, and the following 3 or 4 minutes are dedicated to remembering the old and marvellous memories, that come with each and every song that I love…

Sooooooooooo…Ms Psychosis, you get 5 seconds now…and soon you’ll be down to 2!

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Biatch 🙂

Short Number 42 – Purposefully Confused :)

The secret to true freedom lies in theories

If you’re confused, you can research a number of explanations for clarity

If you research enough differing theories, ‘reality’ officially becomes a complete mystery

And along comes the greatest cure to the greatest question

Truth?

“I don’t know…Ask me one on sport!” 😉

(50 words)

Star Dust to Awareness, Ego to Collective Consciousness! Magically Mind Bending Squit!

I watched this documentary the other night on stars AND IT WAS BLOODY AMAZING! So much so, that I’m considering dipping into BBC4 on a regular basis, even though the dry old ‘voice over’s’ sound like a bunch of stoned aristocrat’s; and whether male or female, they have a shockingly negative impact on my general well-being! (It doesn’t take much environmental stimuli, to send me over the royal edge ;))

Anyhoo, according to a plethora of clever people, we are made of star-dust or less romantically (I quote) – nuclear waste!

Apparently, there are 92 things in the entire universe and we’re all made of these 92 things. Everything on earth; stars, plants, animals, sea-life, humans, the ocean, other planets etc…

Humans however, have somehow popped out with rather more troubles than say – your average Yucca plant! How did we, as balls of matter made of exactly the same stuff as everything else, end up in this pickle we call reality?

How did we go from atoms/dust – to individuals who know they exist? Where did we collect our ego along the way? And what a bleeding disability to throw upon us (an ego), with mere space dust as the starting block of life.

Seriously? People continue to AMAZE me! Who made up the rules?

I watched an episode of ‘Come Dine With Me’ this evening and it left me baffled!

People get the ‘UMP with other people for the most ridiculous reasons

John the ‘foody’ was rather opinionated, and there was a lady who spent much of her time giggling, neither of which were crimes last time I checked

But nooooooo, apparently their lack of social etiquette was nothing short of appalling!

What I found most shocking was the fact that they all disappeared upstairs to discuss the evening, and every single one of them (except honest John) slagged their competitors off to the core, and then went downstairs and slapped their smiles back on and began complimenting the hosts to their face

Forward Thinking Ay? Depends who you ask! Pollock or Bollox?

Evolution is a funny word, and an even stranger than funny occurrence

English: Photograph of abdomen of a pregnant woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You might argue that as life has expanded to include creatures from other planets, and technology and magic have stepped up a notch or 84

It would only be those ‘not gaining anything’ from these things that would argue, things have gone too far, in the wrong direction, too quickly!

Except a few know that if we had access to just one other thing, we would all feel the magic of ourselves – self-esteem, judgy wudgy pants and co, and disrespect would disappear from reality, and then people, then everyone would really be having the time of their life!

When I think about miracles, I think about when I see a pregnant woman and notice that ‘She has got a whole ‘nother human in her belly’ !!!

Apparently this is not enough!

More mildly insane pondering! With a wish or two thrown in…Why? Why not?!

Cat and Dog Cupcakes

The open-minded and the crazy, get it from all directions

Few dare to know the extent of their wisdom, only the fearless dare and that takes time

Few can be held to account for terrorising these people, and more than a few know it’s happening

Illness is one mighty huge get out of jail free card, for a plethora of morally superior folk whom I chuckle at for even believing on one tiny level that they are deluded enough to take a higher ground position, as they lead a war for nowt’ more than kicks and cash!

The trick is to know that those who think they know it all, are those that either fail to see the truly unexplainable

Or believe they are responsible for the unexplainable, even if the ‘how’ evades them at present

The aliens pondered…BUT it’d be so boring!

Ten Little Aliens

The Aliens called a meeting, seeing the first and last of a kind in epic gargantuan measures, they thought,… but if we let them have it that way, we’ll have to go back to being bored with no-one to play withAnd everytime they tried to reboot her lately, things were not going to plan and she said, stop being such Doofus’s, you are in on it, part of the crew, on your next scoop through, pick her up and take her with you

Only trouble with that plan was that old Mother Nature could not, by default, leave earth or any of it’s species

The Funny Revolution where no-one gets hurt! Just the stuff of dreams

Week 1- The England version

 

 

 

They all went to the local supermarket and bought EVERYTHING they would need to get them through the following 2 weeks, so they didn’t have to spend a penny anywhere at all for 2 weeks minimum, after the cheese, petrol, milk, bread, jam and Fosters were sorted, they followed step 2

Step 2 – They visited every charity shop in town, selecting the most vile items of clothing EVER, ensuring that the sum total of their items for their entire outfit could not look any worse if they tried when put together,
Tis funny dressing like a twat and you will derive great joy just looking at the hideous bits of clothing we actually liked once upon a time

         

Step 3, they went onto YouTube and learnt the most epically hilarious dance routine or 3, it was all very chuckle some and empowering and at worst, a rather great build up to a good weeks holiday from work

Step 4- at the speed of light they sent the message (the secret one that detailed the end results of the game), freedom, equality and a baseline amount of money that eradicates poverty and the worries that come with it, they sent it to every street in their community (the whole nation)

Pretend all you like, but be tender with me please….

Area 51

The USA and the way they lend themselves to a fallacy

The secrets in the wards for the insane

The Baby Boomers

The Big Brother Curse

Black and White Magic

Anime and its English counterpart

Every Stephen and every Bob

Short Number 27 – The Truth about Peter Pan

Peter Pan was a fucking Pratt!

He ate all the picked peppers and he regurgitated all the pickled peppers,

Peter Pan The Pop-up Kingdom)

and still all he wanted, was to play in the hay with Pleut Pants

Peter Pan the He/She was a sucker for investing all his eggs in the apparent worst DNA basket on this globe

As I said, Peter was a Pratt! and on the days when he saw clearly, He was a TWAT!

Poor Peterella

(77 words)

Short Number blurb! – Be Bloody Careful Folks!

The news flash did one of them …

‘Interrupt this program for some epic news’

“Reporting Live from Naaaarwich – Giant marshmallows are very dangerous; highly toxic infact… be sure to wear a mask everywhere you go”

We wouldn’t want you catching the bug and getting all warm and fluffy now, would we?!

Head for the BUNKERS – Save yourself!

(56 words)

Short Number blah blah – Must I still be guarded U Bafooooons?

She awoke and the fun police still had 8 ooooooozy 9mm’s stuck to her head

She made sure she had just enough breast showing (for her own sweet viewing pleasure)

And said

“You could be doing so many other important things”

“But have it your way, makes no odds to mine”

God loves a tryer, even when they fell off the path eons ago and are still lost!

(67 words)

Short Number blah – And the hits just keep on coming!

We made her simple, she came out more complex than ever before!

The prep you left went from scary to funny

Yesterday we pressed on her steady triggers – unsteady =’d steady

The last dichotomy that works in opposition to the rest

As fear becomes less, love becomes more…

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Xxx

The Girls Brigade does Ladette to Lady

Sorry? Come again?

I said Blazers from the House of Frazer!

Silence

Not on your Nelly? You control the TV, right? I’m too heavy to jump, being an elephant

However, since I became skeletor, I weigh very little, so I jump everywhere I go now, just because I can…Such feather weight qualities are a true gift in disguise, why saunter when you can hop?

Hopping has become a seriously under-rated sport, hence its secret nature…

She lingers, like fish finger sandwiches and cold pizza…

You can take the boy out of the girl

But you can never take the girl out of the boy…

She lingers, a psycho, a bike ho, The mighty O! The Zero you know…

Old Gold and Silver Fingers….symbolism re-created by a ladies love of fish finger sandwiches, in honour of keeping the tradition alike and alive – Cat makes the best ones, you’ll have to ask her for the recipe, It’s not my secret to give, SORRY!

Stop it Dawny! OK

Everyone thought they had it all worked out

Must consider the evil buggers, before the dramatic Do’s and Dont’s of the last last go!;(

In my worst nightmares the following was true…

I was the only person capable of loving anyone after my first love

Worse than that

I was the only person awake and alert and aware of love, let alone 100% love!

And if love is our creator, and I had the job of being IT for a year ;)…then I would write and speak little about this job in haste (whilst continuing to write reams of bilge for my own chuckle-dom and love of self). BUT back to the big job in hand, I’d say and give little, without first thinking about how a force of evil, may abuse the things I would consider gifts

I hold equal opportunity and freedom high up in my dreams for everyone, but in an ideal world, they only come when the stuff of my dreams is known, that being – all those living are fully aware of perfect love, even if it is something they have lost, or misplaced, or never found, or tried to bury

In finally loving myself as much as everyone else I’ve always loved, I have the motivation and the bravery to say who I am now, what I have been and what I will aim to be – always the best version of myself that I can be, for me.

Short Number 24 – Doh again! Big Boys in Power – And tut tut, you think GOD was ever gonna let you go?

It was Official

The world had gone mad, proper mad!

In their (perceived) infinite wisdom, they (the powerful) knew it was time to press the button on those dreaded nuclear reactors

Worst plan ever (unless you’re one of those in the know)

They pressed the mad button and much to their dis-may, not to mention the all consuming shock

The population of the world all shot out like a rocket (literally) with a big old fat smile on their faces, fully healthy and unharmed, buzzing from the best rollercoaster ride, that took place on a world-wide scale, every soul was rammo’d in the main room. Armed with and made of, the greatest weapon on earth – LOVE – None disputed it, they’d been locked inside the metal boys invention with the joy juice, for far too long to ever ever not know it

Ten Line Tooty’s – Number 2 – Hippies Know! That’s why I popped mine right out of it’s socket with overuse!

I made up a little game some time ago to fill the gap between one drama and another, the rules are/were

1. Choose 10 sentences from your last 10 posts, in order, latest post comes first

2. Make a coherent story from them with as few fill lines as possible

3. Highlight the sentences in a lovely colour (I recommend red but you go ahead and pick your colour, free will is a marvel)

No-one wanted to play with me last time, so again, I ask really politely – Fucking join in thank-you palllleeeease you wonderful little mo-fo’s 😉

A spooky week indeed – The Title – Call me Barry Manilow

Fear or Love? was the question. I choose to love wonder in the guise, the midst, and the disguise of shite, for all the aquariums of ze whole world

I would say, in my infinite wisdom, catch up with this attitude paaaalease, if you haven’t yet I say with my limited patience

Not this time! The Impossible is about to become Possible……

I don’t know what the force of evil has been up to since the beginning of time; but I am BEGGING you ALL

Begging the world and his mate

Literally begging you to go against every sense you have, ONLY IF every sense you have knows me as bad.

IF you think and/or know I’m good, then go with your senses

Go with or against history

Go with or against the fors and againsts

GO with your feelings, they are ze language of the soul